So i'm back. it's been like 5 or 6 months since i last wrote in this. I been working so much and i get tired and i been neglecting xanga. anyway. lets get to it. we have alot to catch up on.

I have been looking to move out of my house once i become an ASM. I still probably have like 4 months or so but i been really excited and was looking at places to live when i do. Definately i will be moving down south. I want to live in Pioneer Square. Sure it has alot of crackheads and super sketchy people but the residents and bussiness owners down there have become like family to me. i can walk down the street and say hi to like 5 people. But its super pricy. Like over a thousand dollars a month for a one bedroom studio. But everything down there is pricy. And personally i don't want to live with anyone. I prefer to be on my own. But i also wouldn;t mind Fremont, Capital Hill, or Belltown. But who knows? I call it the "Fruit Bowl" ambition. Thats what i want my life to be like. I would imagine it like this. I would wake up in my studio or apartment or loft whatever. and walk out to my livingroom/ dining room and have a bowl of fruit sitting on my black dining table that sits like 2 people. Look out my window and see the people of seattle bustling around. I would walk my dog to Pike Place market and pick up a few things like fresh baked bread, cheese, some seafood, maybe grab myself a triple tall soy skinny cinny mocha while i'm at it. Just living the city life. i just can't stand lynnwood anymore. I want to be able to live freely. make new friends. i love my friends i have now. but more the merrier eh? PLus i will convince Moses to move back to Washington and i will secretly house him with none of his family members knowing. hehe.

So i been slowly working more and more at the Chinatown Starbucks. Its located right across the street from Uwajimaya or however you spell that place. Its alot busier than my current store but i realize that i will reall miss my old store. Our customers are nicer and hotter and more interesting. If i could describe the people at Chinatown i would have to say "Soul Less Robots". its a giant machine pumping out espresso at extremely fast paces and people just grabbing there drinks and going. And i can't stand that. I want to talk and connect over friendly service and ask whats new. Not just take an order, ring them up, and give them there drink. My peers say thats why they are gonna transfer me to that store, to make the store more like a cafe and less like a well oiled coffee produing outlet. but still i don't wanna go. plus the places to eat are better arond pioneer square. Chinatwn quite  frankly only has Chinese food. Everytime i go to Uwajimayo to grab something to eat i am severly disapointed and crave ribs, soup, burgers, greek or italian food that i can get at pionner. Anymore Orange chicken and i swear i will vomit right in that line and someone will come slip on it and crack their head open. HEED MY WARNING!!!

I feel my group of friends is getting smaller. And fear i am slowly reducing myself to just being by myself. i don't mind being by myself. but i wish i had more friends. not trying to sound like a loser and be like "someone help! be my friend!" but i might be losing the will to be satisfied which might directly impact my social life. I feel like i am no longer going through extreme emotions. Nothing is overly funny. Sometimes i find myself trying to laugh hard just so i don't feel like a loser. I haven't cried in like years. Even if i am super angry it just comes out as frustration. Every answer is a "sure", "why not", "i don't care". i need a spark. something to catch my interest. it doesn't have to be a someone. it could be a hobby. or a recreational activity. maybe i'm getting old. i been reading alot more. and like to drink tea and write poetry and bird watch and garden and play cribbage and watch Home Shopping Network. make prune smoothies.

I been craving new music. Someone refer me to something. But nothing emo.

wow so its been over a month since i posted. long time. anyway. summer is over. i officially recognized that summer is over when yesterday night at around 12:40 am, the power goes out briefly and i can see lighting out my window...from my basement which is covered by a porch. crazy. did i mention that there must have been a flash flood because i woke up to water coming through my window. not like raindrops seeping through more like like gush. think of in the movies when a hole is punched into a dam. yah it was like that...but on a smaller scale. it was crazy. weather outside is quite dull and i actually like it. i don't like hot weather anyway.

I think moses comes down at the end of this month. yay. i bet you he's fat from all that tacobell.

So i am sad. I just found out that some of my favorite bands are coming to Spokane next monday. I really want to see them but how can if they are like 300 some miles away. By the way, if your a rock band wouldn't it make sense to come to Seattle? C'mon we got more emo butt rockers here than Spokane!! what does Spokane have more than that of Seattle!?!? huh!?!?! so who wants to go to Spokane? i bet you i could find us some housing. think about it. hard.

So it's cougar football season. i mean it's COUGAR football season!! yeah!!! so we lost our first game to a ranked and very powerful Wisconsin. But  what can you say? gotta move on. Some Husky fan came into my work and was like "Go Badgers" (wisconsin team name) to make fun of the cougs. i was like "hahah" as i turn away and mumble curse wordes under my breath at him. oh well. hopefully the cougs prove people wrong.

so Evan is a regular customer at my starbucks who owns his own photography studio. he came in today and asked if i wanted to come in and take some pictures for some casting. and i was like uhhh i dunno i kinda feel werid about it. he was like no worries it'll take like 5 minutes, i need some pan ( i guess that means asians who look asian but not specific to one country...i dunno) asian males and if you get picked you get like 2,000 dollars for one days work. i was like okay!!! ( i know, i sold myself cheap) so i went in a got my pics. i told him i would do nude. he told me i was crazy. i told him he should get a picture of me naked with a starbucks drink in front of my crotch and see if we could send it in and maybe become the new starbucks ad.

after the photo shoot, my manager told me she needs a cut from the 2 grand for all the things shes done for me. so told her i would take a 100 dollars and exchange it into one dollar bills and make it "rain" on her. hahah. then i told her to go fetch me a Evian water and fan me down. you know, since i am a model now and all. she then punched me in the back as i was walking away.

sad times are ahead. i might need to get a new ipod soon. mines been freezing and it's really depressing. i have had it with me for like almost 2 years now. but dano loves his nano. i want the shuffle in atomic green for work out. but i also want the 30 gigabyte one so i can watch movies while i commute to work. porno movies. and have creepy old men looking over my shoulder watching me watch porn. hahah. as we commute to work. at 5 am in the morning. then i would take my earphones off and be like "yeah, she's a great actor so multi talented, a rising star i must say." and we would all nod our heads in agreement. okay i just kind of went off. i don't even know what i am talking about. NEXT!

resistance tubes are so kool. i love them. i must thank phil for inspiring me to buy my own. which leads me to my next story. i bought a set and the handles are rubber. after a couple days the handles tore so i took them back to exchange it. so they told me to grab another set. but i took out the handles and switched them with another companies handles cuz they are made out of plastic so it won't tear when i am pumping massive amounts of resistance and just getting super ripped and huge. hahah. i felt bad at first until i found how sturdy the new handles were. hehe.

everyone knows i can't watch scary movies. i just hate jumpy scenes. and i tend to jump at those parts and start to yell profanites at the screen as i do. but i have watched a couple these past few days and have been good at not being tramatized afterwards. the last movie that really freaked me out was probably The Ring and before that it was Thirteen Ghosts. the trick to watching those kind of movies for me is minimizing the screen with my hands. hahah.  people think i am covering my face but i am actually peeping out the small cracks between my fingers. i really hate it when people don't shut up and keep telling "oh your scared, oh you need to watch this part." i just wanna get hella mean. i want to be like "yeah this movie scares me, but... at least my sister ain't a whore/ my parents aren't divorced/ remember that time you told me not tell anyone that you dumped your pants at the age of 17, oh i'm sorry, did that slip?/i have better grades than you/i had sex on your bed/ i slept over one time and saw your morning wood and i wasn;t impressed. haha.(ps. i am not aiming any of these comments at anyone, just made them up) but something along those lines. cuz being scared of a movie is the least of my worries. hahah

well naptime for me. i have to wake up early as usual. but i did realize there are lot of August birthdays this month. hopefully i don't have to buy too many presents. everyone else expect a hand written card in the mail. the picture will be me...naked...with a starbucks drink covering my crotch. cuz you know, i'm a model now. *slurps Evian water and spits it out on his man servant named Sancho while he is fanning Dan down*

After a disapointing loss in our first game of beer pong to the Dallas Mavericks (Phil and Dhong), the Phoenix Suns (Me and K) went on a winning streak to beat the Golden State Warriors (Sam and Jacua), the Houston Rockets (Angie and JT), to beat the Dallas Mavericks in a rematch to take the title. Regretfully the L.A. Lakers (David and Simon) got too drunk to continue in the Western Conference Beer Pong Playoffs.

So me, angie, and hannah are outside of Siams. I see this person riding a bike towards us. The girl gets off the bike and starts talking to me about how she had a bunch of people were hooting and hollaring at her while she was riding her bike her. I was like yeah thats crazy and rude. Except the fact she was a decent looking girl who was pedaling her mountain bike to Siams at 1am in her short poka dot dress. haha the most random thing i have ever seen. i later found out she was going to go to Cali to do a porno. So this weekend i meet a "Pornstar who likes to ride her Huffy late at night in her pokadot dress to all the clubs". crazy random

So i kill alot of bugs. I do not like bugs. I believe that i have to kill these bugs before these bugs bite me. but i am slowly losing the war on bugs with the weather getting nicer. So i need to an ally on this "war on buggerism". I have to build a army. I have pound the perfect partner. But now i have to find and purchase. I will make a garden of venus flytraps. that would be so wicked!!! yeah. they will be my pets. and i shall watch them devour bugs and maybe i'll catch some bugs and feed it to them. i not only gain a perfect bug killer...but also a friend. hahah. i can talk to them about my problems and cry in their soil, which will not only help cuz they will listen but my tears will help water their fragile bodies. Since they have mouths i can pretend they are talking back to me and giving me good advice. hahah i'm such a loser.

i am dreading another week of work. it kinda gets me depressed. waking up so early. can't take it. i hope my phone interview this week with korea goes well. wish me luck.

gnite

i been having these really intense dreams lately. they feel so real and usually it involves all my friends. last week i had a dream that i was driving a rapper around in a van. i was kinda like his butler. but as i was driving phil pops out of the corner and starts shooting up the van. the rapper doesn't even get hit but i get hella shot up. i like stumble out of the van and i'm like bleeding from all these holes in my body. before i like die phil says "sorry, but i had to do it"...crazy huh?

I saw transformers last night. it was umm...the most amazing movie i seen in a long time. i think i just sat there in my seat with a look of awe in my face the whole time. i wish my jeep would transform into a cool robot. PLUS! i would never have to fill up gas.

i been kinda down lately. i don't want to say what. i wish someting would cheer me up. plus i been sick this whole week. but it gave me an excuse to not really go out. i just stayed holed up in my room and coughed. my head was all stuffy, i was quite miserable.

so one of my co-workers came in with this cupcake. but it was called like "red velvet". and i was like weird it's a red cupcake. and then today i was watching the food network (yeah i watch it...i love rachel ray but hate giada) and Paula Jean?( the white haired old southern lady, who likes everything in "butta") was making some red velvet cupcakes. it looked absolutley disgusting. it was like all this sugar, oil, "butta" and more "butta" and more sugar and red food coloring. it was a diabetics worst nightmare. but i do want to sample this red velvet just so i could know what it tastes like. hmmmm.

i wish i could find a place of peace.

sometimes i just want to tell some people to just shut up. cuz everything that comes out of their mouth is just straight crap. they come up with these theories on how the world works (or doesn't work) and how my thoughts are wrong even if i wasn't making a point. they just live to be right cuz if they weren't their world would fall apart. i don't like to argue, i don't want to listen, nor will i ever accept their idealogies when they have no credibilty and can barely sustain to keep themselves stable. bunch of rubbish i say. sorry i vented that. i just felt like i had to get it off my chest (or..typing finger tips)

gnite