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| egads!I can't believe I haven't been writing on this. I used to be so dedicated, but then again, I also had a lot more free time when I lived in Mississippi.
Lent begins next week, so I'm hoping to write some Lenten meditations a few days a week. | | |
| IdentificationI'm curious about the word "identification." So many Buddhist and other philosophies talk about identifying with our thoughts or experiences. What does this mean? I'm really curious!
I found one Web site that defined it...
Identification - The mechanism by which the ego matches the id's mental image of a desired object with the actual perception of that object in reality, and the process by which the developing personality conforms its standards and behaviors to those of significant models.
Here's another from Mudita Journal:
First, here’s a working definition: ‘Mind identification’ is an unconscious process by which you imbue some transitory aspect of your experience — a thought, sensation, emotion, etc. — with your sense of self.
To identify means to ‘make same’ — and when you are in a mind-identified state of consciousness, you unconsciously treat many aspects of your experience as though they constitute your self.
When I say it is an ‘unconscious’ process, I mean something that you do automatically, perhaps out of habit, perhaps because you’ve done it enough times that your body and mind now do it for you without requiring you to actually think about what you are doing.
I'm going to look for more...
Do any of you have any insight? | | |
| Letting Others Make MistakesWow...it's been a long time since I posted. I've been swamped with my new job. I miss writing.
At the Last Supper, Jesus was well aware that Judas was going to betray him. Judas had a choice of what he would do, but Jesus would do nothing to interfere with his choice.
I mean, Jesus could, within his power, have told Judas, "Don't do this." Instead, he just allowed Judas to make his mistake. Although Jesus was hurt by his betrayal (or was he?), he knew that this was all part of God's plan.
How many of us see someone deliberately doing something they know will hurt them? Do we tell them, "Don't do this, you'll wind up hurting yourself!"
I know I do. Perhaps it's the 'mother hen' in me.
But then again, I don't know what God has in mind.
It's tough to watch someone get hurt over and over again, especially when it's you they dump on when they do get hurt.
But you sometimes have to allow people to make their choices, no matter how much you want to tell them that it's probably not the wisest. But it is their choice, and they will choose it over and over again until they learn from their mistakes and their pain.
We also have to look within ourselves with this situation and ask God what it is WE need to learn about ourselves from it.
Once we see what lesson WE need to learn, it's sometimes necessary to just shrug, shake our heads, and leave people to their own mistakes...and maybe say a prayer that THIS time, they will learn from it. | | |
| AbuseOftentimes we hear of women (and men's) stories of emotional and physical abuse and ask ourselves, "Why don't they just leave?"
My cousin--a domestic violence counselor--relayed to me this story (which I've heard before used in a different context).
When a frog jumps into a pot of boiling water, it immediately jumps out.
However, when it jumps into tepid water, and the burner slowly heats
the water, the frog will stay there. Pretty soon, the water is boiling,
and the frog doesn't realize it's dying.
Many victims of abuse--once they leave their abusers--will wonder how
they got there. It's like they've been asleep through it all. There are
many
factors that contribute to abuse, but really, if we come across a
violent person, we certainly wouldn't date him or her right away,
right? Of course not! We wouldn't want to jump into a pot of boiling
water!
Abusers will appear very charming. They will tell you what you want to
hear. You'll think--"this is everything I've ever dreamed of!"
Then the hypnosis begins. We become mesmerized...enmeshed. The abuser
isolates her victim from supportive friends and family. The abuser
discredits anyone who threatens her victim.
Then the abuse begins. The abused rationalizes it the first few times.
"He/she didn't mean it...I mean, he/she told me later how much she
loves me!" We get the idea that we can "help" the abuser through
whatever problem he/she has that feeds the abuse. We tell ourselves,
"If I can just get these things out of her/his way, things will be
fine. It'll be just like when we first met."
Meanwhile, those who love the victim can't understand why the victim
stays. We say, "How many times does she have to pull a gun out on you
before you get shot?" His answer? "Well, the gun wasn't loaded!"
A victim of abuse will always return to his/her abuser until the victim
reaches such dire circumstances--the boiling water--that he/she will
say, "Enough."
And the worst part of it is...it's difficult to watch the frog die in
that pot of boiling water because your own hands could get burned.
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| AngerI'm really fascinated with anger and how it can rear its ugly head.
How often does it disguise itself as pride? If we resent someone, we
sometimes do and say things to try to prove that we are "better" than
them. Our ego protects us, telling us that what the person might have
done wrong is so far beneath us.
Or how often does it disguise itself as concern? We have a false sense
of caring--that we want to "help" the person see the error of their
ways. But it's just a form of anger. We really don't care if the person
mends their ways--we just want revenge. We want God to exact His wrath.
Anger will even pull us towards self-righteousness--where we tell
ourselves that we must turn to the Lord. Instead, we're really
searching for validation of why a person is wrong. It's a form of
judgment--"I'm right because I have God, they're wrong because they
don't."
And how about jealousy? Anger and jealousy can whip someone into rage,
can't it? We can be jealous because someone is "getting away" with
something that makes us angry.
When we are angry at someone, we even gossip about them. If we say
malicious things about that person, it temporarily makes us feel better
about why we're angry.
We have to always question ourselves when we are angry. Why is it we're
REALLY angry? Why does this bother us, whereas it might not bother
someone else?
Anger is so real--we must stare at it in the face as well as be aware
of how it manifests in our life. If we don't acknowledge our anger, it
will consume us. It might come back with its many disguises, but the
more aware of it we are, the more we can dispel it from our hearts.
Besides, no one likes to be around angry people. They just suck the life out of you...
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