The End

Well this is definitely my last post on this site.   I will no longer have internet access for some time.  I have, however moved my blog to a new website for my return later.  I found a great christian blogsite and already made a few friends there in the short time I've been there.

If anyone is interested in the new site it is located at ShoutLife.

Tuesday

Had a stress test yesterday along with an MPI to check on the stents in two of my ateries.  I'm told there is a 5% chance of the stents closing within the first six months of them being placed.  I will find out the results of the test tomorrow.  I'm hoping that this is the case, because the other possibility is that I had another heart attack which would mean open heart surgery. 

Still haven't found anything out about working yet.  After all the resumes, applications, and follow-up phone calls; I've only had one interview and still more "we regret to inform you" letters, e-mails, and phone calls.  Luckily I'm working with the "Job Connection" at the church I'm attending and will hopefully be able to redo my resume so it looks better.  They also sometimes get job postings they hand out at the weekly meetings.  At the moment, the only real advice I've gotten from the teachers is "move to where you are on the bus line."  Realistically that just can't happen at the moment.  So I'm even applying for work from home positions, even though there are very few legitimate ones.  Depending on what happens with the test results from the Dr. there is a possibility of him putting me on disability, although I have no idea if it will be long-term or short-term. 

I am praying fervently every day and getting back into the Word.  I am trying to leave the stress in God's hands even though sometimes it's quite difficult.  I'm not quite sure what He has planned for me but I'm trying to help myself and let Him guide me along the way. 

On a more joyous note, I was able to have my boys with me this weekend.  We didn't do a lot really other than just spend time together and watch a lot of television.  I did get to play chess with the older boys while they were here which was just awesome.  The youngest (3 1/2) just amazes me every time I see him. His vocabulary is increasing fantastically. I was shocked when we went swimming. He was in his little floatie and went over halfway down the pool by himself while I walked next to him.  Even though I only get to see them on weekends, I consider every moment of that time a blessing.  Sometimes it's hard to take a step back and realize it but I know God has blessed me immensely. 

There is a good possibility that this will be my last entry for quite some time as I will be without a telephone line and internet service.  Please keep me in your prayers.

More page changes

Wow, been over a month since I've posted.  Time really does pass by too quickly.  Anyway, many new additions to the site now.  I don't know if anyone will notice or if anyone ever reads the site but the new items are there for people to hopefully look at and use.

The job search is (well has been) in full gear.  I think I have cranked out just over 100 resumes and applications over the last month and made almost as many follow-up phone calls.  It's funny though how life works out.  In my endeavours two weeks ago, walking down the street looking for work, I happened upon a church with cars in the parking lot and for some reason decided to go in and speak with someone. Talk about divine intervention, WOW.  The sermon the following Sunday was a serious wake-up call.  I know my going in was no coincidence at all.  Even walking in the door I was like "what am I doing here?" and "how is this going to help me find a job?" 

It's been a very long time since I've walked down the proper path, over 13 years.  I'm not sure what the Lord has in store for me but I know I'm now less stressed about things and am letting Him take over the worrying.  I'm sure if I do my part He will help me along this journey I've undertaken.  It was extremely humbling, and difficutl,  to admit to myself that most of my problems over the last few years were due to me at the helm trying to dodge the waves of life and not letting God have control. 

The sermon two weeks ago was like getting hit with a divine brick in the head.  Of all things for the pastor to be preaching about... relationships.  Relationships with the Lord, ourselves, spouses, family, and friends.  I now really believe the "Footprints" when it says "The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you." 

If anyone stumbles upon this blog.... I could really use some prayers for health, a career, and family relationships. Health specifically... I need to have the rest of my teeth pulled and get false teeth, as well as eyeglasses, medications, help controlling the heart disease and the diabetes.  Relationship specific, I need to mend those with my sister, father, and most of all my lovely wife.  Any and all prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Lake Pointe Church is where I am currently attending.

Three Days

I am privileged to have my boys with me through the 9th or so of July.  The last three days have been so completely wonderful.  I've been able to spend some real quality time with them.  Every day we all walk down to the school and play on the playground. We cart our bottled water with us and I make Mikey where a baseball cap so he doesn't burn his little head.  I wish I had a camera to capture that precious image.  I got the cap adjusted to it doesn't slide down but it's still way too big for him. 

Watching him run around and play with his brothers makes me smile.  They sometimes play a little rough but know when to stop and they are protective of him.  We all take turns pushing Mikey on the "big boy" swing as we call it.  When he gets tired of the swing he'll look at me and say "c'mere c'mere c'mere" and make me follow him up the little metal stairs to the slide. 

The smiles on their faces and the little Mikey giggle when he comes down the slide or swings on the swing, makes life worth it.  These are the things that make a man truly rich, not money.  I'd take the last few days over all the money in the world.  I can't imagine there being anything more special than a happy smile or little giggle from one of the children.  I do regret that it took them being taken from me to realize just how special the little things are. 

Some people live to collect things, others to make a lot of money, some for nice houses, and so on, I am living for my children.  I want to help them learn, teach them right from wrong, make them laugh and smile, be there when they are sad or crying.  I hope someday all three of them have the opportunity to have a child of their own.  I truly believe a child is one of the most precious gifts God can bestow upon us. 

Irony

I got to see my boys again yesterday for a little while.  I had been feeling a bit down but that sure picked me up real fast. The youngest one, WOW, what a hair cut. I was amazed.  They all seem to be doing real well and seemed glad to be here, even if only for a little while. 

What really struck me was the Quote of the Day in my Franklin Planner, which I didn't notice until about 10 minutes ago even though it was for yesterday.  "It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones."  How very true. 

We tend to just take life for granted and let things slip away.  Our middle son came up to me and showed me something that is probably in the grand scheme of things, very miniscule. But I realized, at that moment it was a big deal to him, and it made me feel really special that he wanted to share that with me.  A few months ago that little act would probably not meant as much to me as it did yesterday.  In a few years they'll all be grown up and probably married and have children of their own.  What a shame it would be if I let those little moments go and not treasure them completely.  It seems the smallest of things can be the greatest of pleasures.  A hard lesson learned but one I will not soon forget.

Take joy in the little things while they still available for you to take joy in.