Teach us to Pray~

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged with man. Now the story goes, a little shepherd boy was watching his sheep one Sunday morning and he heard the bells of the church ringing. And watching the people walk along the pasture where he was, he happened to think to himself, "I would like to communicate with God! But, what can I say to God?"

He had never learned a prayer. So, on bended knee, he began to recite the alphabet. Repeating this prayer several times, a man passing by, heard the boy's voice and peaked through the bushes. He saw the young boy kneeling with folded hands, eyes closed, repeating the alphabet.

He interrupted the boy. "What are you doing, my little one?" he asked. The boy replied, "I was praying sir." The man seemed surprised and said, "But why are you reciting the alphabet?" The boy explained, "I don't know any prayers, sir. But I want God to take care of me, and to help me care for my sheep. And so I thought, if I said all I knew, He could put the letters together into words, and He would know all that I want and should say!"

The man smiled and said, "Bless your heart, God will!" And he went on to church knowing full well that he had heard the finest sermon he could possibly hear that day.

Maybe if we thought like little children and let God put together the letters, what we should want, and what we should say, things would probably work out a lot better than we planned!!!

I read this today. It made me want so much to be in complete surrender to God's plans for my life. I have Faith that he will accomplish His will, but I know sometimes I hold onto things because I don't know any better. I know that God has my Best interests in mind. He is fighting for me. He is the God of angel armies that doesn't hesitate to deploy the troops to protect me. Even if I am just feeling a little fearful. He comes through for me.

So here I sit, considering the idea of prayer. We seem to have made it into something that we schedule in, with its own language, and proper surroundings.  It really is simply talking to God.   What a wonderful relationship! I am overwhelmed with being a child of God!

Peace~

Two years.  Truthfully, I am finishing April better than I started it.  I have been astounded with my God, and how he has fathered me in the past weeks. He has given me new meaning, revealed different perspectives on how to categorize myself, my circumstances and the state of being that arises from them. He has given me wonderful christian friends to encourage, support and at times hold the broken pieces of my heart while my world shook around me.  With God's help, and theirs I have found strength to face the pain. I am so blessed and grateful for those who stood by me while I was in the grips of it.

I will never know how to thank those who helped me put words to my reality. The patience of those ones who listened and cared, who stuck with me when I didn't even know where, or what, or why.

I must say, I can feel your prayers. I felt them last year, and I feel them again. The prayers are actually what are bringing me to tears today. Not the loss, but the gain.  Thank you. With every fiber of my being, I am utterly grateful.

By far, the hardest thing that I have faced has been God asking me to "Let go."   It is funny what we think of pain, and what we do with it. We all have our own little ways of dealing with it. Of course, there are different kinds of pain, and they result in different reactions, but some people, if not all people seem to have their own  general outlook on it. 

There are several that have been on the tip of my tongue lately, such as: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." And Tyler's "Pain is weakness leaving the body."

I think it is the Irish in me, but I tend more to embrace pain. I have felt that if I hold onto the pain of my Dad passing, in some way I would feel closer to him. 

I can't say all that has been in the process, but I have some how, with words and truth and late night conversations, have peace about "moving on". I still cringe slightly even when I type the words. It isn't about the words though, it's about the action. Letting pain make it's mark, but then letting go of it and letting the pain let go of you. It isn't forgetting what has happened, but allowing new things to happen.

This may not make sense to you, that is okay. I am not asking you to understand. I am not asking you to care! But if you are reading this I am sure you care to some extent. Thanks.

Remember, God doesn't ask us to give anything up for no good reason! He wants to give us something better in return! We're talking redemption here! God wants to take our ashes, and give us unimaginably better things!

Beauty for ashes. It is a pretty saying, but totally useless unless you know what it is to give up your ashes, and receive in their place something wonderful, new and beautiful.

I don't know what that is, I don't know if I have received it yet......but God, here are my ashes....!

I think I may be able to play my flute again, soon.....

I haven't played in a while. I didn't because I don't think I could have listened to the music that I would have played. I would have broken apart.....

I am really happy though. I am doing good. I am still ready for April to be over already!  I am learning to fix my eyes on my heavenly father, through everything. Just as a father would hold their precious child as they walked to the house from the car in a thunderstorm, and speak softly to them and told them to look into His eyes, God has been holding me, especially this past week.

I am learning how sweet it is to look into God's eyes, with Him looking back into mine....seeing and holding my soul in His gaze.  To be vulnerable in my Father's sight.....is humbling.  To declare that He is everything and more and more than I need. All satisfying, all praise worthy. That is my hearts desire. To Joy in His Glory, and praise His Glory.

Love you all. Your Father bless you today~

'til next time~ 

Tunnel Vision

I am grateful for the people who were there for me and my family in the dark hours of tragedy.   There is something, in some people, that calls them to be modern day heroes, to the hurting.  A torrent of emotion and hidden wellsprings of tears stir in me when I think of these people, and see them in action.  These people live from their true hearts. A gift to the world. A gift from God.

It is funny to me how easily I can be reduced to a puddle these days!  Evidence that my life has been meaningful, and certain events have made their mark. 

In other recent news, I went to Hong Kong! It was a filled half day, day and another half day of adventure upon adventure!  Ashia is a very desirable travel partner!  The highlight was definitely when we boarded a ferry at pier 6 and made our way out to quaint little Cheng Chau island, where a bicycle is the main method of transportation.  There are no gas powered vehicles on the island.  We took to our feet and traversed the trails almost the length and breadth of our little paradise.  We went in and out of beach and tropical jungle, up the hillside, down rocky crags. 

In all, I am thoroughly loving where I am and what I am doing. We have started our second week of teaching here at the E.V. for this semester.  My students have been phenomenal and unforgettable.  I have been amazed how the skill of remembering fourteen names in a matter of hours, and forgetting them almost just as fast, has been honed and brought into use. Twice a week. 

With the whirlwind of children, names, relationships-established, or stabbed at, all the programs, schools, camps, in and out co-workers and on, and on, and on....one constant can be counted on. And for that I am most blessed and grateful. My mighty God. My Warrior King. My dear Father above.  He has many names, but He is the same. And always will be. Is more than enough, and always will be. Forever. Nothing can separate me from Him.  He is the motivation, the enabler and the reward for seeking Him with the whole heart. He protects and nurtures those that do.  He gives life. He is life. There is nothing apart from Him.

Give Him your heart. Find your heart in Him. Live from your heart.  Finally be fully alive.