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| me? compose music? hah!| You Should Play the Piano |  You are a true music aficionado who loves many musical style and eras.
You find music to be an escape. And you'd like to be relaxed and comfortable when you're making it.
You're very innovative, and you have a unique way of knowing what may sound beautiful.
There's a strong possibility that you could compose some of your own work songs quite easily.
While you have a lot of creative energy, you are also serious and conscientious.
Your musical talent needs time, practice, and lots of privacy to flourish.
Your dominant personality characteristic: your painstaking attention to detail
Your secondary personality characteristic: your natural tendency to be whimsical |
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| you're born of a jackal! you're beautiful!i've had an exciting week. i'm kind of sleepy at the moment, but whatever.
today i went to the state fair! it helped me realize how much ghetto trash is in new jersey, seriously. i felt kind of scared there at first, surrounded by people who looked like they could be either mobsters or muggers (otherwise they were guidos!), but after a while it was like, screw that. lines were long, and i was there with my cousins and their friend, whose mother kept following us around and saying, "I'LL GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE TO SEE IF PEOPLE ARE CUTTING!" and "THIS LINE ISN'T MOVING, WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER THERE?" the whole time, i wanted to slap her, seriously. and i was kind of attracted to those random stalls: WORLD'S LARGEST HORSE! WORLD'S SMALLEST HORSE! (there were two of those stalls, by the way) SPIDER WOMAN, ALIVE! FREAK SHOW! it was freaking engrossing. we asked some people that went in what it was, they said it was just a lady in a spider suit. we were like, "how does she go to the bathroom? so the ferris wheel was scary as hell, seeing as there was nothing keeping us from jumping off our gondola other than the six inch backrests behind our seats, literally. the girls with us were freaking out, they were screaming their lungs out! and my brother and my cousin, two big kids, were on the other side and my brother was yelling at my cousin for moving around 'cause it made the whole thing rock, it was so funny. i wanted to ride the sky ride though!
the day before that was boring. hm.
anyway, tuesday was pretty fun! i went to six flags! well, i started off inviting pretty much all of my friends around the area and i ended up going with will and nicole (and HIS MOM, hahahaha, his brother, his brother's friend, my brother, my brother's friends, and my parents; but i pretty much went around with will and nicole). it was all right, it could've been more fun if there were more people there, but i'm not really complaining. i could've been there by myself, what a disaster that could've been. anyway, we went on the same old roller coasters, and the dark knight. oh man, that was weird. the pre show was awesome, though it would've been cooler if people shut up. the place was a friggin' freezer though. waiting in line was kind of awkward too, i kept trying to make conversation with them but half the time it just didn't work. it was cool hanging out with them though, i've gotta admit.
oh yeah, and i got a bad eye infection again. this time it's in my left eye, above the cornea. so my optometrist is all paranoid and is insisting that i keep contacts out of my eyes until the end of the summer. SHIT. well, i guess it's better than becoming blind. i'd rather wear glasses than be blind. but obviously i'd rather not worry about my glasses flying off of my face during roller coasters.
so i've just remembered summer softball practices for PC. hm. as long as we're not running the mile, i'm all good. i should really run, now that i think about it. but now that i'm wearing glasses again? shit, i don't even know.
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| 'cause this could all go so wrong, but we're so happyi feel so weird quoting songs in the titles of my entries. it shouldn't even matter but i feel so unoriginal. well, i'm unoriginal anyway, so why does it matter? i've stopped making sense again.
school's over but it doesn't feel like it! really. i wish we ended having classes instead of with finals. and if we had to end with finals, i wish that it ended with a class that i actually like and talk to, like english or something. not religion. my religion class irritates the hell out of me. everybody finished the entire thing in an hour, everyone was just talking and throwing stuff across the room and ms. dasilva was too out of it to notice or just didn't care, it pissed me off. i think it's just because i don't talk to any of them. hey, they all have english and bio in the afternoon so i don't have any other classes with them, it's not my fault.
it kinda hasn't hit me yet that i won't see the majority of my new friends and stuff until september. now it's kind of freaking me out. like, oh crap, we'll have to start our friendship over when we get back to school. ah well, i guess that's life. i don't want to be a sophomore though. not gonna lie, freshman year was pretty sweet. no real drama to report of, and i'm the smartest girl in my class? with minimal effort on my part? how awesome.
oh man, before our english final, gregg announced to everyone, "OKAY, WHEN MR. MARTIN COMES IN AND ASKS IF ANYONE HAS A QUESTION, WE ALL RAISE OUR HANDS." and he came in and asked if we had questions and chris raised his hand but nobody else did. then ms. cosentino went, "you guys are all chicken!" and explained it to him, and mr. martin was like, "chris? do you really need help?" ("no, i don't.") then he left and she asked, "why didn't you guys do it?!" and gregg said, "i didn't want to look like and idiot 'cause i knew nobody else would do it," and chris went, "LIKE ME?"
hah, that's my story for the day. i'm really boring. man, i hope this summer will be exciting. I DOUBT IT! just like i doubt everything else.
edit: PROJECT UPSTREAM FTW. that's pretty damn cool, not gonna lie. freaked me out for a second too.
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| story of my life
i'm kind of thinking about quitting youth group. it's starting to suck now. nobody ever wants to do anything anymore, they always complain, "why are we doing this? do we have to do this? can we do something else?" and it's pretty much one huge clique, and then me. that's how it was last sunday, and it pissed me the fuck off. i keep telling myself i'll try to fit in with them, be friendly and all that, but then i get there on sunday night. and everybody's talking about things that i don't know about, inside jokes and classes, finals they all have together and all that, and i just don't know how to come in and add to the conversation. so i'm just there. plus, i want to keep helping with planning and all that, but never having ideas just makes me feel like a shitty core team member. it sucks.
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| darling, your head's not righti had a lot that i wanted to say, but i just lost it all. i want to say it's the song i'm listening too, but that sounds so weird. my music is loud and everything, and this is a pretty cool song, but i just... don't know.
right now, i have nothing to do. i felt really mad the other day. i went into the bathroom and wanted to bawl my eyes out for no reason whatsoever. well, i can't say that there's no reason for it, but i've already ranted about all the problems i have with my 'friends' all over on livejournal, where nobody can read it, because honestly, nobody cares.
i sound so emo. i swear to God, i'm not really this negative, but everything i've been thinking lately has been coming out so depressed.
on a high note, last night was the underclassmen awards ceremony. and i totally beasted! outstanding student award in english I honors, biology honors, christian growth, and world history honors (childers: "you got an award from mr. manno?! whoa!"). when i told my spanish class this, my spanish teacher said i came damn close to getting the spanish award too. and, out of all 400-something freshmen, i got one of the highest scores on the NEDT. 'one of the' meaning 'one of two', because only me and this other guy got the award and they didn't say who got higher.
oh man, that kid. he's my rival for valedictorian. according to will, his averages in everything are 100's (compared to my respectable 95-99's) and he can do the rubick's cube in less than a minute. fuck this, i don't want to be salutatorian again. i want to say i won't settle for second best, but honestly, compared to a guy that sounds like he has no life, i wouldn't mind being second if just for my own sanity and reputation.
the year's almost over, thank God. after this week, we'll have one more full week and two days of "learning" and then three days of finals. then it's over! i don't know what i'll do with myself, really.
i should get away from the computer.
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