Why does it seem that every time I get somewhat close to this thing, something gets in the way? It's not the first time. Stuff starts to happen, oppurtunities start to present themselves, and things grow in a positive direction. However, just before it's within my grasp, something begins to step in. A wall that at that given time, there really is no way around.

           And it's not like this is some little thing, though it may seem trivial to others. It's something that comes up in my mind, and my heart, over and over again, for some time now. A possible spread of two and a half years to be truthful. but there really has been nothing I could do about it at each given time. An obstacle of some sort always presented itself. Some my fault, that I willingly accepted for at the time I dearly wanted them. But I find the last time or two, it has been completely out of my control, and it is so appearing to be so another time.

          Now I could, as some do, take this as a sign to leave the matter alone and not touch it a once. A symbol if you may. I for one, however, am not one for signs or symbols. Symbols are a literary tool in books and stories used to depict some manner of real life to give a lesson or virtue, or mearly reveal the severity of a subject. Signs tell me what I can and can't do when I'm driving on the road, making them objects I would already have a deep distaste for.

          I fear I cannot let this be, not 'till I see it through. 'Till I see it come to complete fruition, or dwindle to nothing more than an epic awkwardness. So that is the trouble of my mind of the time.

This music is epic, and truly your ears deserve to hear it. So go, get it, it's something you don't want to miss, if you haven't already heard it.

I'm so done with school for the time being. I'm sick of this living situation, with people that I love around me all the time. I love these people to death, but i'm not the type to have 15 plus people at arms reach at all times. I just can't do it.

I'm stuck here writing a 14 page paper due in 10 hours at 3 in the morning, and I have writers block. Writers block like I've never had before. Another new experience? If anyone out there has any tips on writing an exegetical paper on rhetorical studies of 1st Corinthians 12 & 13, please, I welcome them with open arms.

I guess in a sense I miss home. It's funny, I came to Calgary this year, and in a month was claiming that this was my new home. and now I'm so ready to go back to Kelowna, that it's home again. Yes, there's things I feel about Kelowna that aren't necessarily positive, but still. When I can have my own room, that's quiet and undisturbed, and I don't have to worry about money for groceries, and a million other things at once, I'll take Kelowna. Call me lazy, whatever. I'm just tired of everything going through my head at once. Though I guess it does regardless. That's me. Let me rephrase; I'm tired of too much stuff going through my head all the time. I can handle the everything, so long as the everything isn't too much.

I'm just ready to come home, work towards a new car, and start fresh. I just wish everyone wasn't getting married, frig.

But for now, I'll write my paper, while listening to exquisite music.

Thankyou, Miss.