| have you ever thought about what you would be like now if you hadnt gone through all the shit you have.... i know i didnt completely understand how valuable life was until i lost someone really close to me... and i would be a hell of a lot more trusting to anyone that said hi if it wasnt for my dad.... im beggining to see that everything does happen for a reason whether its just to help you grow or to open your eyes to the truth... iv made a lot of mistakes but i know that without those mistakes i would still be nieve and believe that the world revolved around my mom and dad.... i now know that there is a bigger world and that not all of it is bad.... i know how to have fun now... im not so worried about what some people think... i do a little but not as much.... i know i wouldnt be who i am if it wasnt for the life iv had... and even though it was hell it made me strong and im thankful for that! |
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| ok so im pretty sure iv made my decision now the hard part is coming... goin through with it with no regrets... i think thats impossible... i dont know if i can... i just need to be happy and i think doin this will make me happy... i can only hope... i love you all... <3megz |
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| hey whats up everyone... im so confused about a LOT of stuff... i dont really want to say what all it is though... i got so sick at work yesterday and went home sick... so i had a lot of time to lay there and think about it all... i just keep thinking theres something better... i dont know though cause how can you be sure... what if i go after this better thing and it turns out the same or worse... i dont know and you dont know what im talking about so anyways... i miss hanging out with all my friends... it seems like i never get to and when i do its only for like 10 min... i think i need to get away and breath figure things out for myself and then i can come back and be happy... thats all i want is to be happy but it seems like i cant and im wondering if its because of this something... i dont know... well tamara you know what im talking about so i guess ill just talk to you about it tonight... I love you all have a great day! |
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| ok so im pretty sure that i woke up super late today and was late for work... iv been so tired lately i need a vacation! |
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| omg i hate comin to work this early... its not hard cause all i have is one kid i just get so sick of waking up at 5 everyday... and then i usually dont get to go home until 4:30 or 5 so that adds to the suckieness off waking up at 5... anyways... me and ryan are doin good... i might go see him today... i went and visited with his momma the other day... she is so cute... cracks me up... we sat there and talked about joey and ryan... i might be getting a new job hopefully... ryan has been tryin to get me to go up to st. johns and apply at there daycare forever now... at first i didnt want to cause i love my kids were i am... but i know if i start working over there ill love the kids just as much ill just miss the ones here... well most of them... ill feel bad for leaving joi but shell ger over it... well i guess since its close to 6:30 im gonna go... love ya! |
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