1.

So I really want to go snowboarding this winter. And since I’m learning for the first time ever! Friends keep telling me I’m gonna fall all over the place and get a lot of bruises.


Tangent real quick, I promise I’ll bring it back.

So a couple of weeks ago i went hiking.

And honestly, this was like the first time I had any kind of rigorous exercise. I went with Jon and chuck, among other nrg people, and I knew it was going to be physically demanding. But goddamn we ended hiking for 8 hours. All the way up into the end of sheep mountain wilderness and back. The hard part wasn’t that the hike was long, is was super rocky and my ankles are small and completely useless- I kept twisting them. But damn… that night when I came home.. I laid in bed.. and was just completely in so much pain… all………. Over……. My body….. omg



And I loved it



Can you see why? It was the first time in a long while that my physical weariness overpowered mental strain. Does that make sense?



So. Let me learn. Let me fall allllll day long.



It’ll ache and shit I know.

I can’t wait. :]



2.

I’m so not mature.

But I am vocal.



I was thinking about why the bible says not to get involved during the “bloom of youth”.

That during the bloom of youth, decisions are often short sighted.

And I wonder if maybe that’s what maturity is.

Cus when we’re young, the reason we go through so many styles of clothes, hair, accessories, friends, etc. Is because most people (not all) get tired of things very easily. And of course that also applies to people when dealing with others, lovers and friends. But relationships formed when a person is more or less “mature” last longer because your “taste”, not sure if that’s the proper word to convey what I’m trying to say, stays the same. You by then know what you want, and you know what fits you.



This time around, I have a feeling I’m not going to be settled for quite a while.

There are so many things I want to do, to achieve, for myself in the next few years. Because in doing those things I am good to myself. And as my good friends will tell you… I haven’t been doing that much in the last year, or actually much at all ever. And so here I am going off on all the things I want to doOO. And there are so many that “do” is such a pussy word. Hahahahah. But by the time I’m done writing out everything (cus now… I write down E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) I realize that I’ll be at least 28. I’ve never planned that far in advance, and I’ve always assumed as the rest of my friends that I would marry younger than most. That idea is out the door now… goodness Too many things to order from the menu of experiences. My plans are falling into place one by one now… I’m on my way to a busy decade.



I can’t wait.:]





3.

My intentions are that things taste better from scratch, nothing pre-made.

And when you have no preset identity. Getting to know someone completely from nothing is quite different. Even with old friends.



It’s good getting to know everyone all over again. :] I love it



4.

I’m still a hopeless romantic

With a slight difference

I’ve always wanted more in life, that’s for sure….at least the lion house.

But I used to think that as long as I had someone in my life that loved me to all degrees, and was happy with my companionship, I didn’t need too many material things.

It’s not that I suddenly want material things now, but I can see that there are a lot of things that can only enhance a partnership.

Dks touches on it a lot. He was more specifically talking about one’s passions in life. Whatever your passion may be, or even if you don’t really know what yours is. Isn’t it true that health freedom and financial freedom can only promote it and make it better?



Vincent and Mabel Chan. Epitome of what joy you can have in your life, with your spouse, when you’re financially free. Seeing the way they look at each other, seeing the genuine way they treat each other on and off the stage. Encouraged me that it’s okay to want great things for yourself. The joy of having financial freedom to enjoy life is only topped by having someone to share it with.


I also can’t wait. :]





The beginning :]

lately i've been writing in my little moleskin a lot more.. my black one that i usually only use for notes and stuff.. it's now like all over the sides with small random thought because i keep not having the time to get a new notebook. so the point is.. i've been writing more.. and like random stuff.. i don't mean like long hours of me just sitting at home being emo writing heart wrenching poems.. just.. as in me taking 5 secs after having a thought to write it down, whenever i get the chance too. things happen to me all day long, and i've always wanted to record the thoughts in my head.. but time doesn't let you stop for that

so, i thought i would write here some of the thoughts i wrote down:

i realized something about about music.. to me. so.. music has a tendency of making you lose your inhabitions, that's why it makes you dance right? well during figure drawing the other day, it was a music of my choice, and it really made me lose some inhabitions in drawing. because, i've come to realize over time.. things i like, i tend to have inhabitions in sometimes.. more so in the beginning. But, music let me relax.. and when that me drew.. i actually had soo much fun.
my favorite genre of music is still rnb, and i know exactly why. i define music by the way it makes me want to move, in rhythm to the music. not that other people's choices are wrong see? to everyone, it's defined differntly. I love the way rnb makes me feel.
it's sad though, a lot of people are judged based on there music choice. i'm kinda the same way truthfully.. although slightly different.  to many people, peopl who listen to mainstream are not intelligent. they may sometimes be smart, but they're not thinkers-intellegent, i and think it's kinda true.. but that doesn't mean all of people that listen to other genre's have more substance. This repeats within the genre too. certain songs everyone know.. etc. but i don't agree what that.
i lost my train of thought there because i got a call, haven't gotten a chance to get back to it.. moved on already...bleh
gold has to be done
so jon found this personality test online, and it's rpetty accurate, but i wonder what my results would be if i didnt know it was a personality test.we think a certain way about ourselves.. but for all we know, we can be very very off. it's still a biased perception sometimes, you might not even know it. most people don't.. and so, when jon took my test, as in what he thinks my personality would answer, he got 69%. but that's exactly it, his perception of me could possibly be more accurate than my own, the score is based on how close he got to the answers ii put down. damn standarized tests see? they even grade personality tests wrong! stupid sat's
we were hanging out with brandon today (this one day) .. and he had to get somewhere right down the block, so he pulled out a bicycle and rode off. this made me think.. a lot of things lately i've been comparing my lifestyle to kenny's, and not in a bad way, just for comparison, it's really interesting. Not that i was super poor growing up, and not that kenny's family were like mtv cribs lifestyle, but we were on enough opposite side of the spectrum. the differences are already so interesting, and we're not even extreme cases. but so i thought about each of us growing up, did he ride bikes everywhere? i don't see why not? but i mean like all the things i hear are mostly about car stories.. so i can't really picture him on a bicycle. and i kno i rode bikes when i lived in ventura with the old white step family. but then i thought about brandon's neighborhood and lifestyle el monte vs tc and fremont, how differnt that was even more... first of all, brandon's lifestyle and neighborhood.. is pretty friggin ghetto. but i love that about it. it's so relaxing there all on it's own, simple restrictions people live by don't exist there. so, growing up in a neighborhood like that.. he rode bikes not only a lot more than i did, it was for a purpose, when i learned to ride bikes, it was to pass time.. because i had "playtime" outside, but i never needed the bike to go anywhere, certain streets in the neighborhood already seemed too far.. he rides the bike to actually go somewhere... it never occured to my dumbass this way before.
so this one day i couldn't drive my car..cus the front tires were just wayy too bald. and see? it's not like i'm overly cautious. oh no, i know it's too bald, cus i can't remember when it was that people first started tellling me to change my tires... if it was like a week or so, i'd remember, but i had forgotten already... it was a long time.. i'm really retarded. but so i was stuck at home today, and it wasnt like i needed a big thing done, so like errands, so i didnt want to call anyone to drive me around, that's horrible. so i just stayed home to be productive.. my internet also kept randomly going out all of a sudden.. rar.. it was not a fun day.. a very boring day in fact.. but i could see that i was super relient on transportation, dmn the modern world.
but i was so increidibly bored at home.. i had finished my book already in the morning time.. and the internet got tired quick. so i thought about those people, who literally just sit at home all day, for days on end. doing nothing most of the time... i don't understand that, not in a bad way though.. it's just so strange that i find myself being in suchh a crappy mood being stuck at home.. how can people who havee cars do that? by their own accord want to do that? i dunno.. i feel unhealthierr for god sakes.. just from today.
i have my mom's laugh, it's so identical ^^
jck

my weekend!

 
yea!!