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mekja
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Name: Robert
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 6/10/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: bball.fish.poker.close friends.workout.memories.laughing.turning green.watching people try to rip their shirts.
Expertise: thrust.wearing purple tights.throwing balls down on the ground really hard.doing things that will visually scar you for life.
Occupation: Medical
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/6/2003
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she thinks shes batman or something. what a gay.
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| differencescandice and i were discussing some cool landscape background desktops and how we could like the same pictures for very different reasons. thats a pretty deep thing if you really think about it.
these days between work in la, elite, and volunteering i haven't done much else. no basketball, no fishing, no nothing. just a lot of thinking and for once in my life, i think i can understand those people who walk into a library with greedy eyes wishing there was enough time to read every volume lined up like soldiers. i want to gain information, for mostly selfish reasons but reading has never appealed to me much but i feel that is slowly changing. i wish i knew more on politics and economics. if you were to boil me in a pot, all you would be left with is a intricate organic molecule, a bass lure, a basketball and a poker chip, and maybe a picture of candice. i always felt it was better to excel in one thing rather than be a jack of all trades. but i feel its an even better thing to be a jack of all trades while excelling in one thing. what a cool thought. hahaha.
the weather coupled with a rogue fly has created an army of flies inside my house. i literally went to war for about an hour hunting down flies and leaving their carcasses on the wooden floor to strike fear in the remaining flies. jk too lazy to clean them up. im mad because i saw the mama fly, the one that flies slow with all the eggs inside her and i was unable to hunt her down. so now in the back of my mind is the image of her laying thousands of eggs in our house. i really hate when business isnt finished. i really hate it. i lose sleep over it. lots of it.
marriages around the corner. geez, looking and hearing at what the new couples have to do to prepare, i do not want to get the marry. seems like so much work, so much ceremony. the most spontaneous celebrations are usually the most sincere. marriage is one of the most planned celebrations known to man. i feel like by the end of all that planning, a little bit of yourself dies. hahahaha no offense to the couples but i'm pretty sure it was not any bit easy or even pleasant at times preparing for this. i could only imagine. maybe the few good moments make up for any bad ones, but damn, it has to be a burnout. has to be.
"I don't see why I can't be all three. Mamaji has two passports. He's Indian and French. Why can't I be a Hindu, a Christian and a Muslim?"
"That's different. France and India are nations on earth."
"How many nations are there in the sky?"
She thought for a second. "One. That's the point. One nation, one passport."
"One nation in the sky?"
"Yes. Or none. There's that option too, you know. These are terribly old-fashioned things you've taken to."
"If there's only one nation in the sky, shouldn't all passports be valid for it?"
A cloud of uncertainty came over her face.
"Bapu Ghandi said-"
"Yes, I know what Bapu Ghandi said." She brought a hand to her forehead. She had a weary look, Mother did. "Good grief," she said.
if you have time and want an endless circle of fun. ask yourself can something be omnipotent and omniscient at the same time? If you are all knowing and all powerful, how can you be able to change a situation you already know is going to happen? A sleight of hand on freewill. After much thought, I thought I came to a good answer by saying you can know all situations possible and have the power to choose any option. but then that comes back to the point, well, there is only one option, what is going to happen, and if that's already been chosen and set in stone, how can you be all powerful? sweat the details.
credit card debt is no bueno.
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| new neighborsi showed candice this pretty sweet blistering spanish guitar cover for stairway to heaven. she told me i should learn spanish guitar to get all the girls. i responded with, "i like girls." and she responded with a mean and sarcastic, "yea, i know you do."
so my neighbors of around 15 years moved. i grew up with them, two brothers, one year and two years younger than me. i remember we rode our bikes with baseball cards in the spokes to vons, played fortress at each other's houses and explored what used to be wilderness behind our backyards. the one thing was their dad hated me. for no good reason, i really think he's racist. im pretty sure getting into a fight in front of him in hs didnt help either. but he hated me way before that. yea random.
also, whenever i come home from work around 730 there is an old couple that lives up the street, and his garage is always open with a desk lamp on a hobby desk. i see the old grandpa doing some kind of arts and craft hobby but i never see exactly what it is and then his wife comes out with some coffee and he doesn't even look as he is busily focused on some small tool in his hand. it's kind of cute and i wonder if that's how i'll be when i grow old.
i subbed for banj at elite. first class i decided to kind of wing it and learn from trial and error. so for the critical reading passage, i had each student read 5 lines before i explained the answers. major fail on my part. first student i chose, looked pretty damn smart, some indian kid. FREAKIN COULD NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! he tried valiantly, but his undoing was the word "couple." he pronounced it coh-oo-pooleh. furthermore, it took him like 3 minutes to read 5 lines. that first class was really long for me.
also, there were some students, esp this one girl, man, she just pissed me off. she just sat there staring all bbeejuh at me like i did something wrong. i would have kicked her face thru the drywall if i wasn't such a nice guy. but that just reminded me of just how high school these kids were. mannn, high school seems so far away now. i thought i was all grown up in hs. i didnt know jack crap. just like these kids who think theyre too cool for school. i actually dont get mad at them tho cause its almost like seeing a reflection of yourself when you were younger in them.
i had to change a grandpa's diaper at the hospital where im volunteering, and he is very slight and short. but i was so intimidated by his goch. im sure he got all the ladies when he was younger. dude i still can't get that picture out of my head. so unexpected.
candice told me she had prayer requests that she wanted me to pray for. but im not christian. so i feel like it's some cheap gimmick to get me to pray or become christian. let me put it this way. would u ever in your right mind tell a buddhist/muslim/etc anyone of another religion to pray to your personal god for you? isn't that just pompous? yea its a little different when its between bf gf and i know she didnt mean it like that, but still. it is something to think about and try to visualize from a different perspective.
lastly, i was telling my dad some schools i applied to and toledo was one of them. and the instant i said toledo, he said, "HOLY TOLEDO!!" and he kept repeating that while like popping up his upper body. such nonsense.
sometimes it's hard to turn the corner.
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| back from hibernationi like being outdoors, but not in extreme heat. that just brings out the demons.
on the hike up to blue lake on our bishop trip. thats lake sabrina if you know it. all i can say is, hiking at break neck speed up a steep rocky trail at 10,000 feet makes u breathe like u have 10 donuts stuffed in your throat. goodness. driving all night doesn't help either.
keni says, don't ever bring me up here again or else ill punch you. what a kitty.
once we got there it was pretty nice tho. real secluded, almost exclusive, and the water is a very nice. i really wanted to swim to the far underwater rock and stand there for a picture, but i touched the water to wash my hands, and 40 degree water is probably not very nice.
the lake was teeming with these tiny brook trout. really pretty, but not much meat on them.
i found a five dollar bill on the ground today.
i found a book called "zombie haikus" and it has nothing but haikus about zombies. and it was the best book ever. for example, one haiku was expertly written...
brains, brains, brains, brains, brains
brains, brains, brains, brains, brains, brains, brains
brains, brains, brains, brains, brains!
giggling like schoolgirls inside barnes and nobles.
reading some dawkins right now, and although i think he has some points to remember, all in all, its pretty retarded. so many books i have to read, so many secondaries i have to do, so many hours to work.
i hate living in a rat race. bishop reminded me of that. those stars man, those stars. wisk you away, mesmerize you about things that could have been, should have been, could be, should be. puffing a swisher, feet on the fire, the heat making ur eyes warm and tired so you have to rub them.
i hope by being a professional (if), it gives me flexibility to do the things i want to later in life. being bound financially or with no time is unacceptable to me. i don't need to be ballin' just to be able to do the things i enjoy with comfort.
the idea of working all day just to pay for a place to sleep has no appeal to me.
anyone know of any kids that need science tutoring? ucla biochem major grad, got 36 on my MCAT, is that good enough? yea it's good enough for some stupid hs and under shit. CHILDS PLAY MOTHER FUCKASSSS.
i recently went to a group interview for a hands on patient care internship, and wow was it interesting. first of all, there was a list of about 10 people, but only me and this other girl ended up showing up. they said this hasn't happened before. you were supposed to 'dress accordingly' and this girl comes in with jeans and a t shirt. WOW and then the interview...real straightforward questions, pretty retarded, but for one of her responses regarding patient care, she answers "but i would never trust myself in that kind of situation."
WTF???? does she like to cut herself? is she a masochistic? why would you just destroy urself like that? i mean, why even come to an interview. damn she made me look l100000x better liek how girls like to stand next to fat chicks so they look skinnier.
my mental grayscale resolution is increasing. is that a good thing or bad thing.
some nice dvl trout. peel em like a banana....PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
why does smashing pumkins - thirty three, never get old?
i gotta make more of the time i have now. it's going to be gone.
cash rules everything around me, C.R.E.A.M, get that money, dolla dolla bill yallllll
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| WFOhi
so recently i've been going on a fishing tear addiction and went to dvl twice and bought a bunch of new gear with money i don't have. two weeks ago i took my sister and had a quality over quantity day in terms of fish. looky looky
pretty fat bass over at diamond valley. and if you've never caught bass at diamond valley let me tell u that those fish fight really hard. they are known to put up a tremendous fight. big fishers from all over california have a debate over whether bass from dv or from the california delta fight harder. delta fish have to deal with an everpresent current so they are supposedly real strong too. but man.
then i went again the following week with benjie and andy if you haven't already seen his xanga, not many fish pictures but we boated ~25? fish that day ~11 for andy and me, and a whopping 2 for benjie the bassmaster. he's so good. we wouldn't stop making fun of benjie, so he pouted and took naps on the boat instead of fishing or decided to read a gaytard "into thin air" book about everest. but whenever we would hook into a fish he would get real excited, jump up and start casting again, but his enthusiasm died down after about 3 casts and it was back to the book.
other than that, i have had an itch to go back to bishop
a picture of blue lake. pretty much what heaven would look like. it's around a fairly rough 2 hour intense hike, but it is well worth it. you pretty much have the lake to yourself and the view and weather is to die for. it is a religious experience.
my mcat is in 20 days and i am the scare. i am the more scare in trying to obtain letters of recs from profs. i swear to god, ucla has given me the worst undergrad experience and im pretty sure ucla is geared to just get u in and out of their school. counselors and profs are so not helpful, it's more like they're trying to screw u than help u. private schools have counselors that contact u, and the ability to drop the class after u take the final and bomb it. WTF? i/e stanford, gentleman C's or whatever also at harvard. but i guess if u got the $$ u get the treatment too. very stressful times esp when profs aren't getting back to you in a timely fashion.
i've had nightmares of 4 large dogs attacking me, kind of like in i am legend, when will smith is holding his dog after it got bit and the dog tries to bite will smith but he's holding him down and finally just breaks his neck. i have a dream where im holding one dog like that as it's trying to bite me and 3 other dogs around me taking shots. im pretty sure that dream probably is a metaphor for the things that are stressing me out right now, like mcats, med school apps, etc. oh yea, i wake up with my back arched too after that nightmare like im acting it out in my sleep of holding the dog down and my back hurts for the rest of the day.
man, the key to life is having direction and purpose. life's so hard when you lack either or both, everything is wishy washy.
funny story about my mom. so she's really horrible with computers. she woke me up one morning saying the sound wasn't working and it was cause the volume control was turned down low, yea that bad. so this weekend my mom was saying how the computer was acting up making weird ZZ ZZZ electrical noises and the monitor was flickering as she was trying to listen to freakin church songs. so she said she put her hand on top of the computer and no joke, prayed for the computer and instantly the computer went back to normal. she said there was a demon in the room trying to prevent my mom from listening to church songs and online sermons. and i just started laughing at her so hard because it was so ridiculous. if you don't know, i hate it when christians attribute everything to miracles of god, like above or like if ur stranded on a boat and the motor died, so u start singing praise songs and then the motor works again. WOW, that is true story too, someone told me that saying it was a miracle of god and i almost gave them the miracle of my fists. but my mom got really mad at me saying WHY DONT U BEREIVE ME SUNKYUNG?!!! BEREIVE BEREIVE! and she kept trying to give me a mini sermon and i ran away to my room.
man my mom is a bona fide ajuma now.
i am so poor right now. i took like a month off from work to study for mcats and i started racking up my cc debt with no income. it's really scary how fast you can rack up debt but how it can take so long to pay it off. i guess a lot of things are like that in life.
gotta make progress one day at a time.
aite then dog.
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