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melodymassacrexxx
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Name: Nichole
Birthday: 1/29/1992
Gender: Female
Interests: Singing, Dancing, Photography, Writing, etc.
Expertise: Writing. Advice. Psychology. Singing.
Occupation: Cosmetologist.
Industry: Writing.
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/4/2008
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| I had a fight with my grandfather earlier, and I didn't even mean to make him angry. I cried my eyes out and he came in my room and hugged me for a while telling me he was really sorry and that he didn't mean to yell at me like that and that he understood that I was just trying to save him from having to fight with my grandma later. He also said that he hated to see me cry, especially when he did it. That is what really hit me.
We get along, but when he does get mad or upset, he says a lot of things he doesn't mean that hurt me, and half the time doesn't realize he says them, so he never realizes to apologize. I had no idea he ever hated to see me cry. I know that he didn't mean a lot of the things he said in past disagreements, but they always just stuck, you know? Him saying what he said just really made me think differently and realize that he really cares about me - he just gets angry sometimes.
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Tomorrow we get our schedules (schedule pick-up day) so I will FINALLY get to know who my teachers are, and in what order my classes are. I am so excited for school, but it doesn't seem real to me yet. It still feelings like the middle of summer. It barely registers that tomorrow is schedule day, which I feel like I have been waiting forever for. All the days went so slow the last few weeks, but yet when I look at how close tomorrow is, I just think that maybe it went faster than I thought? I have no idea.
It also doesn't register that much to me that I am finally a JUNIOR. An upperclassmen. I was so use to those two years of being an underclassmen that this is something I have to get use to. At least this year people can't be rude just because I am not upperclassmen. Being a freshman and sophomore can be hard in that way, but for Juniors they have the hardest year. Freshman year is the transition period, Sophomore year is the progression period, Senior year is the transition to College, but also the easy year since there is all the senior stuff you have to go (and you get out of doing work in classes for the last few weeks of the year), but Junior year? Ever alumni that is no longer a junior says it is the hardest year. I know they are right. The teaches expect more out of the juniors. This is the year to crack down, we aren't underclassmen anymore, but we aren't seniors and getting ready to leave the school. We are stuck in between, and serious rules are set for Juniors. =/ Doesn't matter. I am setting out to try to make this the best year ever!
<3 Secret Kisses
Love Lindsey.
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| Dreams, ftw? No.Five Days! Sooo very close. Five days until we pick up our schedules which means I can at least know who my teachers are and probably my lunch. I will also know what teachers I have for this first semester. Caaaaaan't wait. I just want to sleep until then and then afterwards sleep some more until school starts. I AM SO EXCITED. And I don't even have that many friends to hang with this year! But yet, I am excited. xD I know, I know - I am weird. I know other people are excited, but they are excited to see their friends. I on the other hand am just excited for school and learning. I know - I am such a weirdo.
I had a really weird dream last night so I decided to tell you about it:
I was at school again, except it wasn't my high school, it was my old middle school. It was lunch time. The thing is I was still considered in 11th grade, but for some reason they had sent the 11th graders (some of them) back to the middle school for their classes. A few people were there: I will name them L, and E since the others weren't that important. L is the one I have been having troubles with, mind you. So, I am trying to sort of avoid L but I was so sick of sitting alone (L was sitting with E so I couldn't hang with E) so I tried to go talk to E and sort of L in the lunch line (the lunch lines were a lot different than they were when I went to that school. They were in the concession stands, and there was a random one where the boys bathroom use to be. xD) Anyway. It was weird and I don't remember all that much now, but me and L ended up fighting. When I tried to say something to L to get L to listen and shut up L tricked me and ran away. It was basically a whole dream of avoiding/confronting/losing L as a friend.
I don't know, but it was weird. I remember a few small things like what I was thinking at the time and some other random stuff, but the rest seemed to revolve around me talking or attempting to talk to L.
Hmmm.
Anyway. XD
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| Goat (Chinese Zodiac) - The month of August
"The New Moon on August 1 is the best time for any new start. The month
of the Monkey encourages a sense of pride. You can be less afraid of
confrontation. [Thank GOD!] August brings a talent for doing the right thing at the
right time. Sometimes you're simply too kind. [So True.] People don't appreciate
all you do until you back away. [OMG! Do you know how f*cking true that is?!] Group projects and adventures will
bring the most satisfaction. There may be financial worries. [When isn't there?!] Any money
you spend should be for the basics only. Some Goats will resort to
drama and childish demands midmonth. This isn't in your best interests.
Focus on family responsibilities on August 16. [That is around when one of my family members moves back to OK.] Spend more time thinking
about your health this month. [Wow, already started and I didn't know I needed to.] Arrange necessary appointments,
especially those you've been avoiding. [Woah, I have been avoiding some appointments!] August 24-31 is fortunate for
the renewal of old friendships and family ties. Outdoor events,
dancing, games of chance, or simple flirting can be especially
enjoyable."
Wow. Couldn't believe this horoscope. Every time I go to this site, they are right in some form or another.
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| Violation of the Rules.It is nearing the end of my first day of vacation and I have already broken the rules. How can I help it? I mean, I have my real friends talking to me. Most of the 'no communications' thing was to keep a certain person from talking to me and making my much needed 'space' about them. That is what they did last time I had space.
I am going to try oh so hard not to rant (at least meanly) on this particular blog entry since I am trying to type about my current excitement and anxiousness. Every day is another day closer to schedule day! I absolutely cannot wait for it or for school. I decided to go to PCN both days just to catch up with everyone - friends and teachers included. I am so very excited. I don't even mind having to sit in the library for a few hours until my classes start. I mean, I'd only be in there half the time since I would be talking to my counselor (not really technically mine, but the one I go to) just to see how her summer was, and to talk about random things. I'm so very happy to be going back to school. This year WILL be amazing. It just has to be - and if it isn't, I will make it be. I'm going to influence my day with my moods, not my moods from my day.
Veeeeeeee is a sweetheart through and through. Her (unlike a few certain people) have always been there when I REALLY needed them. I appreciate you so much Vee. We need to have another night hanging out (dunno if I can sleep over or vice versa, but we could go do something, or just chill at either of our houses for a few hours.
I absolutely can't wait for my Cosmetology classes. I am partly nervous, but just like most everything else, I know I will be great. (Not being conceited, just confident in my smarts. I am a straight A student, even in my worst subjects. Plus, grades don't matter - actually learning something does.)
I think this year I am going to do something different, something me. I think this year I will have a different outlook on situations - either I will stop worrying about protecting everyone else's feelings, and be honest (but not brutally, except in certain cases) or I might risk a lot of things to live. Or both. I don't know - I feel this years needs some scandal (no, not drama - just scandal, there is a difference) even if I have to make it. I do know that I won't be focusing on relationships (not long term wise anyway) because my main focus is schooling, learning, and my career.
OOOHHHHH, ALSO! Okay, I will start Vlogging soon, and would like to know what issues you would like to see in the videos, or what theme(s) there should be. It can be ANYTHING. I'm hoping to make it so interesting that a lot of people can enjoy it. I am doing this to give people something exciting, but with some reality to it!
Any and all ideas will be considered and appreciated.
<3 Secret Kisses,
Lucky Lindsey
(Lindsey is what I go by on the internet, most of the time. It originated from my middle name. Someone called me Lynn-z and it sounded like Lindsey so that became my internet name!)
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| SorryI am sorry if I seem negative or rude - I am just in a bad mood and need to express myself without lashing out on people I care about.
I usually don't act like this, but some of the things behind these subjects (more like the certain person) is really pissing me off. I apologize to you all.
=)
<3
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