| my new xanga is "it's_an_aqired_taste" if you feel like looking at that one. I really hate this xanga name.
ANYWHO-
he is THAT cool |
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| I hate myself. I hate THIS. I hate hoey drama. I hate this uncertainty. This gnawing in my stomach. This constant dread. I hate seeing tears in his eyes. I hate knowing I can't make it all better. I hate old photographs. I hate that I always feel that I'm a horrible person. I hate that happiness continues to allude me. I hate having to choose. I hate my masks. I hate lonliness.
I hate lying to everyones face. |
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| I never meant for it to be like this
I never wanted it to go this far
this is thelongest I've ever been without speaking to you
does it hurt you as much as it hurts me? I thought you would be there for me and I would be there for you and that something stupid couldn't break us apart.
3 years isn't forever
I miss you
I still have the brooch, if you want it back I can drop it off at your house.
I still love you, and I'm not going to drop that off |
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| the game last night was AWESOME
know why?
Mother fucking HANK
And American-Alexander-Clone
And Craig
And a police officer telling me to shut up
and some other cool stuff that I don't remember
I have a Hank tooth
hank hank hank hank hank hank hank (Tell your stupid Hank tooth to shut up) HANK
Pole dancing, teehee
There needs to be a party SOON
that kid in web page=teh l33t(I can't compete with a black chick!)
<3C |
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| I'm not going to appologize for the way I feel, but I'm sorry if I upset you.
I don't understand how I feel either, because I've never felt this way before. If I coul;d change the way I feel, I would, because I don't like it. I don't like feeling like I'm incomplete and I hate missing him every fucking second of the day. I always felt defective and diseased and now I don't.
If you really loved both of us you'd be happy
I love you and I'm not happy because you aren't and if there's any glimmer of happiness I feel guilty because I know you're upset. I want to help so PLEASE talk to ME. Don't try and spare my feelings because this is hurting them more. I'd rather you come out and call me a heartless bitch than just bottling it up because that solves nothing.
If all else fails, fuck it, I give up. Hooray for regression.
Side note: On the Graden State Soundtrack there's a song called Lebanese Blonde and I keep thinking it says "Lesbian Blonde" and it's freaking me out.
Yet another side note: I hate high school drama. All of you should just have a big orgy or something....but at least it distracts me from learning french, hehe ^_^
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