For those of you who
do not know me very well, my favorite sport is,
Brokian Ultra Crocket. Since, of course,
this is my
favorite sport I would like to see it played more often; so I
provided rules for all those who would like to play with me some time (just
read them and make sure you
understand them), and next time we
get together we can play.
- Rule One: Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.
- Rule Two: Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone
him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection
and training.
- Rule Three: Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.
- The reason for this is that, though the game is a major
spectator sport, the frustration experienced by the audience at not
actually being able to see what's going on leads them to imagine that
it's a lot more exciting than it actually is. A crowd that has just
watched a rather humdrum game experiences far less life-affirmation
than a crowd that believes it has just missed the most dramatic event
in sporting history.
- Rule Four: Throw lots of assorted items of sporting equipment
over the walls for the players. Anything will do — cricket bats,
basecube bats, tennis guns, skis, anything you can get a good swing
with.
- Rule Five: The players should now lay about themselves for all
they are worth with whatever they find to hand. Whenever a player
scores a 'hit' on another player, he should immediately run away and
apologize from a safe distance.
- Apologies should be concise, sincere and, for maximum clarity and points, delivered through a megaphone.
- Rule Six: The winning team shall be the first team that wins.
Just in case you might be wondering
where-on-earth this game came from, I'll tell you. A man by the name of
Douglas Adams, the
world renowned author of,
Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe.
sorry!
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