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Sunday, May 11, 2008
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Currently Watching
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - The Complete Second Season
see relatedNext Step
I know I said I'd lay off xanga/internet till finals are done but I need a break from my books....
Yesterday, I chilled with some people I haven't seen since middle school at a carnival at my old school. Didn't really know what to expect....haven't been to a carnival since I was like 9 haha. On top of that, I haven't seen these girls since maybe 8th grade. But even though I thought it was gonna be awkward, it really wasn't. I guess the reason I was kind of hesitant to see them was because back then I was the most awkward kid, especially around girls haha. They would always nag me and I thought they were the weirdest girls ever. When I look back on it, though, it was probably just me being a kid. Yeah, that was me and my 6th grade state of mind. Girls are weird, now let's play basketball. Now it's more, girls are aiiiiight, now let's play basketball. Anyway, that's not the point I wanted to bring up. Man, I hope they don't read this.....
I probably write about being nostalgic a lot...I don't really remember what I write about so I usually repeat topics...I think aha. But chillin with those kids really brought me back. Not only that, but it made me realize how far I've come. Ok, not that far yet. I'm still in college....but seeing everyone all grown up, seeing the changes that happened at my school, seeing old teachers, and looking back on past memories....it's crazy how much life changes.
I'm sure everyone gets nostalgic every now and then. I loved my childhood, middle school, high school, everything. So lemme get to the real point of this post.
Looking back on everything that's ever happened so far, I can honestly say that I've had a really good life up to this point. What's weird, though, is that right now....what's happening in my life right now....is completely different. Not different in the sense that life sucks...life is still really good right now. Just different in the sense that I'm not as carefree as I used to be. Everyone always talks about how college gives you the best years and I'm not gonna argue it. I mean, I just started. But regardless, I kind of just want life to start already. That's not to say I haven't lived yet lol. But I've been so carefree my whole life, had everything pretty much handed to me. My fam's always looked out for me despite any dumb crap I put them through and I've always had great friends to turn to. All of that is besides the point. Inside, I'm still a kid. I want to leave this somewhat childlike mentality and move on to the next part of my life. I have to. I'm pretty much done with how life was when I was a kid and, even though it's kinda hard to let it go because of how easy it was, I need to grow up.
So what's this next step of my life? Hell if I know. Right now, I'm gonna stay in college to find that out. What I appreciate about college is that it's preparing me for the "real world" and helping me know what the hell I wanna do with my life. But for me, I could never go to college strictly for the ultimate aim to get super rich. I probably bring this up a lot, but I really don't care about excess wealth. All I know about this next step is it's gonna involve people and being selfless. I wanna help people. Cliche? It's ok, I know. Somewhere in my life I feel I gotta do something completely selfless and completely humble myself. Which is why I've been trying to cut back on unnecessary spending, materialism, and anything that I can live without. We definitely do live priviliged lives here in the States and I wanna help people that aren't as priviliged. Haha I think I'm giving too much information here. I've never really talked about this with anybody....and I'm writing about it on xanga aha.
I saw Iron Man the other night and there was this line that really got me:
"I shouldn't be alive unless it was for a reason."
Oh Iron Man, you always know what to say.
I really hope my friends don't read my xanga I talk about the most random stuff. Plus, they'd definitely give me so much crap about how I "talk about my feelings" haha.
Back to studying.....
Monday, May 05, 2008
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Currently Gaming
Grand Theft Auto IV
By Rockstar Games
see relatedFinals !
Last two weeks of school = mad exams. I need to concentrate these next two weeks so I'm taking myself off xanga. Gotta make up for the slacking I did this semester soooo....gotta beast these finals. Talk to me after next Wednesday....after I'm done killin my brain.
Btw, this weekend was great. I'm just saying. Chilled with the cousins on friday, fit 40+ people (Monmouth, Atlantic City, Central Jersey) at the Pana's on Saturday, and on Sunday I....studied. Haha whatever it was a good, chill weekend. No need to stay out super late and come home tired as anything. Just spent it with fam, friends, and the NBA. Gooood times !
Shout out to Liezl and Gabrielle for helping me study today....definitely never taking a bio class ever again. But thank God for smart friends haha.
OH and if anybody wants to buy a pair of mork and mindy dunks, tear away vandals, jordan 3 cements, air terra albis, or air max 90/360 hybrids all size 9 pleaaase lemme know. I need money ! Trying to cut down on the materialism....simplicity, nahmean? Haha alriiiight that's it for tonight.
PS watch Aldrine Guerrero....that fool is siiiick on the uke ! http://youtube.com/ukuleleoversoul
Friday, May 02, 2008
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Currently Listening
The Neptunes Present... Clones
By The Neptunes
see relatedMe, Myself, and I
How do we define ourselves? Just wondering. It's really late (I probably say that more than I should) and I really need to sleep (exam tomorrow...). But when I find an idea in my head, I want it out as soon as possible aha. So I really wanted to talk about a subject that's been discussed for as long as anyone can remember: identity. What is it? How do we develop it? As a psych major, the subject of identity is always brought up. It could be talked about for hours and since it's already 3:30 in the morning, I'll be real quick with my thoughts, yea?
When I think of identity, like most people, I think about what makes me....well, me. I think about the things I've gone through (good or bad), the people I've known, the way I was brought up. Basically, I've always considered my identity to be the culmination of everything that's ever happened in my life. From the time I was exposed to hip hop to my first mosh pit. From my first A+ to my first F. Every moral and lesson that was every instilled in me, too. All of this contributed to who I considered to be me.
Ok so I was having a really nerdy conversation with one of my friends haha. It was actually based on this same topic. We talked about how people define themselves and what might contribute to their identities. Putting aside special cases that might alter or "split" one's identity (such as child abuse), we came to the conclusion that the way in which people define themselves may depend a lot on age. For teenagers, a big part of identity is due to the media. Ok ok, I know what you're thinking. Another person blaming TV, music, movies, video games, etc. But it's not like that.
Think about it. Teenagers...they might associate themselves with a specific music genre, dress accordingly, and just like that they're one of the many "punk kids" in the world. That's who they are, at least for the moment. You can make this same case with almost any kind of personality, yea? Gamers, goth kids, hip hop kids, movie buffs, sneaker heads, skaters, athletes, musicians, even bookworms. The media paints different images for different people. It presents certain "lifestyles", makes them look appealing, and, naturally, teens look to be part of those groups. Granted, how these teens identify themselves are most probably not solely reliant on the media. But it's hard to think that the media doesn't play some part in it, right?
So, adults. I feel like a big part of how adults define themselves depends on what they do. Not even talking about their job or occupation, either. My mom defines herself as a mother of three, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a nurse practitioner haha. I guess as you grow older, you start to be more practical. There's no need to associate with a certain group or deviate from society. Sure, it's probably not as simple as I'm making it out to be but maybe life is just simpler later on. I don't know how many 50 year olds are gonna be calling themselves sneaker heads anytime soon aha.
Ok, so I just sped through that in like 15 minutes so my thoughts are all over the place. Identity is just such a broad topic that I'm not even touching on how people might define themselves characteristically, more generally, than anything. Plus, I might be completely off the mark in everything I just said and I know I'm missing a lot so I'm sorry for wasting your time haha.
Up WAY too late...Goodnight!
Almost forgot....Anyone from Jersey willing to take MYMP ticket off my hands? No charge! My cousin is cousins with Chin and got the hookup. First one to ask gets them haha so lemme know ASAP.
Oh and....what did one volcano say to the other?
....I lava you.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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Currently Listening
MCMLXXXV
By Rufio
see relatedHigh Expectations
Lemme talk to you about pressure. Pressure is having to live up to expectations set by others and, once meeting those expectations, having more expectations placed upon oneself. It's that feeling of uneasiness due to the need to succeed. We all want to succeed...but with success comes pressure. Even when you get to the top, there are those expectations to stay at the top. Pressure is always going to be present in life, no matter what path or direction you choose to take. We just have to learn to adapt and maybe even thrive under that.
You know what sucks? Growing up around people that are successful. Ok, that might not sound like it sucks. But all my life, I've been surrounded by people that have been successful financially, socially, and academically that it's usually been expected of me to follow suit. Same could probably be said about most Asian kids. Difference with me is I usually didn't give a damn about what other people expected of me. I usually just did what I felt I needed to do, regardless of what others wanted me to do. Sometimes, things would turn out fine but other times I kind of wish I were a better listener/follower. For example, I couldn't stand piano. But looking back at it, that would have been a pretty dope skill to have, you know? I could have been just like my grandpa and played piano in front of thousands. But nah, I was too stubborn. There's that old saying, "Parents always know best", and I guess, to a degree, that might be true. But call me a rebel or whatever you want, but this is my life. I feel like I've been raised with good enough judgment to know what's right and what's wrong to make my own decisions. I don't want to be told what I should be doing with my life, which direction I should take, or who I should be talking to. I'll be good, don't worry about me.
Still, so many people find the need to tell me what I should be doing with my life. Go to grad school, go to med school, get that money, do whatever. But I can tell everybody right now that whatever it is I'm gonna do with my life, it's most probably going to be way different from what you want for me. Whatever it is I do with my life, I want it to have meaning. This life is so temporary, man. I mean, I could definitely go to med school for ten years, be set for life, have those cars, those houses. But really, where's the meaning in that? Why should I go through all that trouble to live a life of luxury? I've never lived a luxurious life and, yo lemme tell you, my life has been so good thus far. I don't need excess money and material things to show off to the neighbors. I understand why so many people would want this for me, but again, it's not exactly what I want for me. Life is so short....I might as well do something meaningful while I'm here.
I respect everyone's opinion...shoot, I'm even grateful that all of you care so much. But with all the pressures that are already present in my life, I honestly don't need any more added through the people I love. Don't get me wrong though, I love all my friends and family. It's just that pressure...it gets to you every now and then.
Goooodnight, Xanga....didn't mean to make this an angry post if that's what it came off as haha.
Monday, April 28, 2008
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Currently Listening
Ratatat
By Ratatat
see related"I got a good life, man..."
I was reading a blog by one of my friends and she included this quote:
"I don't care if your day sucks, or your week sucks, or your life sucks. You live a privileged life. Don't take if for granted. LIVE LIFE ON PURPOSE. Live life like you mean it. And stop blaming others for all that is wrong in your life."
Nobody's life is perfect, right? We all make mistakes, we all have struggles, and we all need to overcome certain obstacles. We might even feel, at times, that we're the only ones that feel these things. You know...that feeling of "I just don't know what to do". But when I read that quote, it really made me think. It made me think of all the times I've gotten depressed and sulked in those feelings and emotions. All those times that I've let a bad day overshadow anything else around me. So often I get caught up in little things not going my way that I forget one very big thing. I have a good life. And right now, I'm blessed. I got so much going for me regardless of any problems or regrets I might have had. And to be honest, even though I don't know who might be reading this, I can probably say the same thing for you. Because while you might not think your life isn't as great as that guy's life or that girl's life, chances are it's still pretty good. I'm not trying to speak for anybody but, if you think about it, there's most probably people out there that have it worse. So we all have something that we'd like to change in our life...so what? Nobody's life is perfect, right?
P.S. My cousin said I get mad easily...but I don't ! That nigga's just mad I smashed him at Marvel vs. Capcom 2 haha. Even though I know I'm not a mad person I feel the need to explain to him (and anybody else that still wants to read) why I'm not:- People always say to me, "Hey...you don't seem like a mad person."
- Ate my food without asking? It's fiiiiine. Don't worry about it...I'm not mad !
- In high school, I was voted "Least likely to get mad in any situation, even situations that justify one to get mad"....what? that's an award.
- If you see me, I'm usually smiling. Unless I'm eating. Then, I'm smiling with my mouth full.
- If it seems like I'm mad in any of my xanga entries, that's not really me. That's uhh....some guy that hacked my site. Jerk.
- Everyone from Jersey is nice !
- People always say to me, "Hey...you don't seem like a mad person."
mikkovillareal
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- Name: Mikko
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 3/8/2008
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I'm starting up my pulse just to tell you how amazingly sick Jason Mraz is on his new album. aha The End.
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