| I was watching a movie and it got me thinking...
My entire life I have lived in the future, always planning ahead, making a list and itinerary, each day everything has been premeditated. What I came up with is, I don’t want to live in the future for the rest of my life. I yearn to remember playing with my friends when I was little, or going to Disney land (or any of the 20 some states I went to that I don't remember), or a special moment I had with my parents. But, the reality of it is, I can't. I've tried so hard to remember things like those, but no matter what I do. I'm incapable.
I've determined I want to change that, I know when you're little you can't remember everything, but my brother remembers - it seems - everything and I hate that I don't. I feel like my childhood was wasted. Honestly, I just don't think I could handle the possibility of not remembering my teenage years as well. So, I’m going to fix that while I can. I want to remember the small things, not focus so much on what I’m going to do in two years at college, but make some friends my age, that I can grow up with, if you will. I want to have fun in high school, not get caught up in the crap and drama that steals away the magic of being young.
I want to live in the moment and heck, maybe remember the past a little too. I don’t want to miss the important things anymore. I want to finally slow down, look around, and as stupid as it sounds… smell the roses.
I want to start fresh in every aspect of my life… but who am I to think that is possible? |
< I've decided to brush it all off -- I'm feeling much better about most things. Couple things I'm still a little worried about, but I really think the person would talk if something was really bothering them.... I hope anyway 
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Heather
