to support, hold, or bear up from below; bear the weight of, as a structure.
2.
to bear (a burden, charge, etc.).
3.
to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endure without giving way or yielding.
4.
to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, etc.) from giving way, as under trial or affliction.
5.
to keep up or keep going, as an action or process: to sustain a conversation.
6.
to supply with food, drink, and other necessities of life.
7.
to provide for (an institution or the like) by furnishing means or funds.
8.
to support (a cause or the like) by aid or approval.
9.
to uphold as valid, just, or correct, as a claim or the person making it: The judge sustained the lawyer's objection.
10.
to confirm or corroborate, as a statement: Further investigation sustained my suspicions.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. -Isaiah 41
another humbling week. except this time instead of feeling discouraged, ashamed, or weak - i find myself feeling grateful, joyous, and even privileged....
it's weird because its such a contrast to last semester when i used to cry and be bitter... hahahaha like seriously.
when your best isn't all that you thought it would be, or if your best just plain sucks and is always below average - it's okay because God is simply just keeping you humble and dependent on Him and not yourself.
i feel joyful knowing that God really does know what He's doing - even if we don't understand, or don't like it. there is a sense of gratefulness knowing that our Father not only loves us, but is willing to in a way hurt or discourage us so that we lean on Him alone.
we can choose to be bitter and dwell on what we feel like we deserve, or we can trust God and ...be free. after trying both options - i'm set on staying with the latter.
ps. there is joy also seeing God work through you to be a light in the darkness of this world. seriously... if you want to know about darkness - go to grad school. you will most likely find yourself and others to be self-absorbed, lonely, depressed, and motivated for all the wrong reasons. sigh. but to show that you're living for something greater - is such a privilege. to show others practically that your priorities are different - that your gpa and getting that internship or that residency isn't your end goal - is an honor...
okay sorry for the "holy" entry. but yeah, this lesson of "mirae, your best sucks - just give it up" has been just too reptitive to not write about. perhaps a more comic entry next time.
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all...[Isaiah 53:3-6]
reminded of this passage tonight. we cant take the Truth that sets us free for granted...
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
learning to be bold because of the CONFIDENCE that i have in who He is and His promises. it's a beautiful thing.
ps. i know i've already said it like 4 times, but i love school. even in the midst of stress and anxiety - God keeps bringing me something to smile about each day. whether its making it to class at 8 after sleeping at 5am talking with roommates, or studying with old high school friends with mango passion tea, or meeting new grad students at LIFE group, or developing new projects at work, or just having that solitude time in my beautiful apartment... there is so much to be joyful about.
i'm seeing that the more i hold things loosely (i.e. goals & expectations for the new school year) - the more i see His sovereignty. and how beautiful is that... His grace is always suffice...
building up stronger relationships + loving school like a complete drug nerd. hoooooray! muhahaha
it's a beautiful thing.
i'm seeing that the more i hold things loosely (i.e. goals & expectations for the new school year) - the more i see His sovereignty. and how beautiful is that... His grace is always suffice...