this is not the time to breakdown.

Keep it together now. It's not the time to break. Read it all, no need for separating here. You see what you want and try to justify. All your little lines, Convictions and your lies.What right do you have to point at me? Well, I'm sitting alone thinking about it all over coffee And still crowdin' my space are the things you still hold against me.
You cannot save me.

Open up the book you beat me with again. Read it off one sentence at a time. I'm tired of all the lines, Convictions and your lies.What right do you have to point at me?

i want to graduate i want to graduate i want to graduate.

i want to get out of here. i hate this place. i hate the things it reminds me of, the people, the memories, i want to start NEW everytime i think im starting new, im not. new school year, did nothing, new look, new job, new friends? its not the same. i want to get out i want to get the hell out of here. i hate the silence. i cant take it anymore so why sit here and listen to nothing. why cant i cry anymore? i want to feel something. but i dont anymore. i feel nothing and i guess thats what i asked for. i sai di wanted to be numb, because it was better than all the hurt i used to feel. but i miss feeling. im not growing or learning, im stuck here and im dying. i have no connections to anyone, no one anymore. no ones here for me. every goddamn friend ive ever had has lied to me. i cant trust anyone because the people i trusted the most betrayed me. before, if i got into a fight with someone, it could be resolved, or at the very least i had other people to go to, to comfort me. Now, I have no one. i have two close friends that im afraid to get too close to.

thats about it. i want to fucking die because i have nothing. i wont have anything because im a bitch that no one wants to be around. im a sorry little emo girl who hides in corners and cuts herself to feel something. i just want it all to end. why am i the only one who feels this way? why am i the only one whos always being left behind. When i was little all i wanted was someone to talk to, someone to laugh and share secrets with, someone that knew me better than anyone and would be there through thick and thin. best friends. be careful what u wish for because laughter always turns to tears and secrets are never kept. people change.

and if college doesnt end it then i dont know what will.

You shouldn't kiss me like this
Unless you mean it like that

They're all watchin' us now
They think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this
I think you mean it like that
If you do baby kiss me again

Everybody swears we make the perfect pair
But dancing is as far as it goes

for my birthday....the only hint i got was "a BIG bow" and i am fairly sure that that means there is going to be a BIG box which scares me cuse i think one of the fire fighters is getting wrapped up and i dont think its gonna be ryan. im thinkin rj...lol. drew- "lets bake a cake and stick ryan in it for her." hahahaha. im not kidding, im honestly scared because they were giving me creepy smiles

im turning 18 in two weeks

i applied to Penn State...finally ha

christmas is coming up

winter ball's coming up

SNOW

i feel stable and confident. guess im not a stupid emo kid anymore haha

may bay?