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| Well, sweetie, its been 5 months since you been gone. I still can't seem to grasp that fact. Its like that day was just yesterday. Still feels the same, and I still love you the same, and if not, then more. Couldnt make it to the field today though, you know why. Rain makes me feel like crap. lol kinda reminds me of those rainy days walking home. Remember that? and then I got all pissed off cause the bottoms of my pants would get wet, but then you'd hold the umbrella so that I could roll em up hahaha good times.. and that other rainy day when your umbrella just snap in half for no reason.. HAhAHAhAhAhA i couldnt stop laughing at you :p and then youre all like "HAY ITS NOT FUNNY!" LOl which makes it even more funny.. shiet eh? 5 months. thats a dayum long time.. When one year coems, i'll be out there, regardless of any kind of extreme weather. Hail, snow, thunder storm, blazing hot, i'll be there. Sometimes I even forget you left us. Like at school, I get the feeling sometiems that when your homies walk by me I could be like AY WHERES WILLSON. or id look for you within that crowd and tell you whats pissing me off THIS day. lol Shiet eh, I miss you SO much manh. At family dinners you know.. fuck manh it just feels so much smaller now. and everythings so different. Its like ever since you were gone I cant feel that same happiness at those dinners than when you were there. I feel like I cant trust no one. I miss those days where I could tell yOU everything in detail without being scared that youd say anything to anyone. You know what? Its weird cause I still remember everything from the 29th. When i looked at you, I dont even know.. like what to say. It wasnt the same. Didnt look like you were ready to go. And your dad was by me telling me to hold it in or i'd be the one keeping you here. Sorry if i made it hard lol just cant control it. Im sorry I had to turn around that day too :S i wanted to see you one last time.. and watching it wheel into the fire, saddest thing in my life. foreal. Nothing else can compare.. just wanna let you know.. I miss you like hell nigga. Be there to greet me at the gates when my time comes all right homie? see you up there, babe. Love you lots.. | | |
| RIP WILLSON CHEN
Rest in peace darling.. It's unreal. I just saw you.. it wasn't even expected. Nothing would have helped. I just wish I could have said my last goodbye the day before.. Too late now eh, buddy? I'll never ever forget the nicknames and tea from when we were tiny tots. remember "jee yook see and jee yook wai"? shiet .. i wont forget that. We made it here.. so far you know? not exactly .. but then it could have been farther. And then you left me. But yanno what? We'll be thugs for life. It's all good 'cause i'll get your name tatted on my arm or soemthing and then we can both ball 'til my dieing days. haha.. I guess I'll see you up there when I decide to leave.. I love you, baby cousin. You know that? I cried so much today. More than I've ever cried in my life combined. I miss you so much.. it sounds all mushy and shiet but its true.. iuno i just wish maybe i could have an extra day to see you again.. remember for my bday? you actually came. Im glad. I won't bring minestrone soup to your grave. Anything but that because I know you didn't like it. You said it was too sour. Its okay, i agreed =p and remember gossiping about everything? You knew things no one knew about me. And then there was walking home everyday from secord.. that was the best shiet ever. My favourite person to walk home with. Before you left, everytime soemtihng in the family went down, i'd be like oh its all good, willsons got my back through it. This time you wont be around.. I'll try and stay strong for the both of us, but thats gonna be really hard.. We all miss you so much.. im still finding it so hard to accept.. I was in denial for hours when i first found out.. and even still now. its hard to believe that youre gone. I just keep thinking i'll see you sign in on msn and shiet.. waiting to see you at school en all that yanno? like tomorrow i can see myself giving you my nigger punch down the halls after math class or at lunch and being like AYY wasuhh.. yanno.. and like whenever i see you through the hallways and stuff.. and then driving by your house, id see you your dad and carter chillin there, cleaning the yard or w/e. I wont get to see that anymore.. i still can feel you here.. fuck i miss you baby cuz.. today, i sat at your memorial site for the whole day and just cried... I dont think anyone understands how bad this is affecting me.. I still cant believe youre gone. I havnt been myself lately.. Havnt eaten nor sleeped.. I just wish you could come back.. at least for a few seconds... enough for a hug and a goodbye.. And to think the day before, i just chilled with you. sharing my curry and shiet.. you know hah.. all the veges and dipping bread. And then the rapping.. lol.. I liek to rap to you because i know it makes you feel uncomfortable.. BUT it also made you laugh so its all good. Hope youre doin okay up there.. your funerals next tuesday.. come by to see it.. Everyones gonna be there for you, babe, for you. You should come back.. visit me sometiems all right? any day, anytime. Im ready for you. I love you bro. <3
There's a heaven fo a G. I guess I'll see you up there darlin..
(Please respect this memorial post.) | | |
| There's a thin line between love and hate. It's surprising how quickly you can decide between the two options about someone after they make one stupid action. The stupid action you made to make me feel this way about you is not forgiveable, nor is it forgettable. I've made a permanent decision of what I'm going to do. If you can't deal with it, then learn from it becasue I'm not coming back like all those other times. Im not the type of girl to give second chances, especially for this bullshiet that you're inflicting on me. Face the consequences that result from your stupid actions. If you're gonna do what you did, then at least don't be so stupid and do it out in the open where you're bound to coincedently bump into some people and be caught. It's sad because I actually had faith in you and the whole situation. Somehow, you meant that much to me that I made up excuses for you to save myself from grieving and dwelling over it. But the worst part is that I kept putting up with all your useless crap and bullshiet and you didn't even do shiet for me. Never in my life have I thought I would become one of these girls that are blinded enough from shiet to put up with the horrible things that you put on me. Sometimes I even wonder why I stuck by your side through it all. But not this time, no. I'm over and done with it all and I'm ready to put it aside. Shove your dick up your own ass; I don't need your shiet no more. Do me a favour though, and make yourself useful. Have a good life, because I'm finally beginning the long process of starting fresh; without you. | | |
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