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Monday, June 30, 2008

It's amazing how sometimes people don't look at the me the way i look at them. Knowing them for years and treating them like a friend doesn't necessarily mean that they're your friends. It kind of hurts. People who go to church makes no difference compared to friends who don't go to church. I feel a lot closer to non-Christians. But I'm not such a good person either. I'm pretty sure that people can come up with several things in which i have done wrong.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

As we all may know, college is one of the most expensive investment that we would ever make as a young adult.. I've been very nervous about money issues lately, I'm sure that most of us seniors who are going to some sort of a CSU or UC are a bit iffy about money. College is already expensive, it hasn't even started yet either. Paying for the most ridiculous things, such as accepting a college is another $102, just signing up for room and board is another $300. They really make it feel like money grows out of trees. On top of college expenses, senior events is another issue. Prom costs around the triple digits which might affect my participation to other senior events. I really don't know what to do.

*As I planted two head phones into my ears, I randomly chose a song "Kindness" by Chris Tomlin on my mp3 player. For some kind of a reason, the acoustic guitar alone allows me to meditate easier. I become oblivious to all that's surrounding me. I close my eyes and being my search looking for God. I usually can't feel His presence at an instance. But this time the soft wind blew against me and I felt God's presence tugging my heart& holding me. And for some sort of a reason, I feel a lot better. I get onto the bus and I realize that I became distracted, several passengers were conversing with one another. And I decided to turn up the volume. I then realize that this situation was similar to my spiritual life. When I was outside waiting for the bus, I wasn't distracted. And it's easier to find God this way. But as there's distractions, I tend to not be able to see him as clearly as I can. But once we realize that we lost focus with God we try to ask God to come back into our lives and God again becomes the center of our lives.
*-sorry about the horrible grammar, etc. I haven't had time to proofread. I just wanted to get the message across, because God is wonderful & works in miraculous ways.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

reminiscing

As school is coming to an end, there has been a greater anxiety within myself. Four years of tedious examinations and homework, naive relationships, and persistent friendships will be remembered. I remember those long, blistering summer nights as we gather our equipment and dash out into the tennis courts. We were naive teenagers without caring or pertaining knowledge of the future. Remembering that recreation sports was the correct way to spend leisure and quality time rather than sitting in front of the computer or television set for hours within a day. We'd smiled at each other which would eventually make us, guiltless children fall "in love" quickly but surely. Oh yes, we called it love, as we put aside one another's flaws and followed our "tinglely feelings". Those were the days.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

forgiveness

So a couple years ago, I lost a friend. We stopped talking due to some incident. And if i was that person, i would do the same. But after all these years, he was able to forgive me. Well i'm not sure if he forgave me, but his actions show it. And after he began talking to me like a friend, I feel as if everything's let away, the bad history is erased. Although we may not be as good friends as were before.. I really don't know how to describe this feeling... it's not a bad feeling, but a great feeling... I'm really fortunate. And I really appreciate this person for taking the heart to forgive me.

As I think about it, how is GOD able to forgive me in a split second without thinking of whether or not he should forgive me... It makes me a lot more appreciative that God's LOVE for us is not breakable, never ending..

can't get away by rush of fools.... it's a really great song. if you have time listen to it.

I really enjoy this promise that I made to God. Being single for a year is not bad. It's actually pretty nice feeling

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Easter is tomorrow... The chorus of this song reminds me that Christ is the reason as to why we're forgiven. He's reminds us to forgive others... even though we've been mistreated. I've probably heard the story of Christ getting crucified a dozen times... but i hadn't taken the time off to poder on this.... the way that Christ died on the cross, thinking of each one of us, individual as he died for our sins... and yet sometimes we're never satisfied....like me....

I have to admit that I've been horribly materialistic lately. I know that I DON'T need any of these gadgets/fancyclothing/expensiveleatherpursues... But it's hard... well it's not hard if my heart was focused on God to begin with... I just feel like a horrible person.... I've been absolutely concentrated on superficial things... Today i just realized... that this is not the lifestyle i want...

Within Some Christian songs... i really wonder about... like "I will never forget you...." I don't understand... what's the point of promising this to God when we're going to break it....To me, this song is a proclaimation stating that "I" will never forget my God... but in reality we do forget about God at times.... so how can we sing this song then.... isn't that a bit contradicting?

I really don't know....

Remedy; David Crowder Band
```
Here we are
Here we are
The broken and used
Mistreated, abused
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
The beautiful one 
Who came like a Son 
Here You are

So we lift up our voices
We open our hands
To cling to the love 
That we can’t comprehend

Oh, lift up your voices
And lift up your heads
To sing of the love
That has freed us from sin

He is the one 
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Here we are
Here we are
Bandaged and bruised
Awaiting a cure
Here we are

Here You are
Here You are
Our beautiful King
Bringing relief
Here You are with us

So we lift up our voices
And open our hands
Let go of the things 
That have kept us from Him



He is the one 
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who forgave us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet
He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy

So sing, sing

You are the one 
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy

Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy
```