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miss_world9
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Name: Steph
Country: United States
State: Hawaii
Metro: Honolulu
Birthday: 6/3/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: body boarding, surfing. strumming chords on my guitar. piano when i need some solitude. food! popcorn, ice cream, etc. the unhealthy stuff
Expertise: good music: third eye blind. coldplay. sinatra. maroon 5. snow patrol. new amsterdams. nirvana. metallica. the mars volta. tracy bonham. norah jones. sparta. hole. aerosmith. saves the day. sugarcult. death cab for cutie. the juliana theory. saosin. starting line. the early november. story of the year. garbage. elvis. bright eyes. thursday. the suicide machines. rufio. matchbook romance. phantom planet. yellowcard. soundgarden. alkaline trio. finch. mest. fuel. guns n roses. led zeppelin. queen. silverstein. mxpx. deftones. something corporate. dhc. save ferris. thrice. american hi-fi. lifehouse. old no doubt. rage against the machine. hoobastank. incubus. dean martin. miles davis. billie holiday. bjork. alanis morissette. michelle branch. dido. sarah mclachlan. etc
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/17/2003
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| So my xanga is crazy neglected and I barely read entries anymore, but I’ll update because it’s 5:30 am and I’m still not tired (shit, I’m nocturnal once more). Anyway, this weekend is horrible because all I’ve been doing is homework. Next week is going to be hell especially because of my econ midterm (I don’t know what the hell has been going on in that class for the last 3 weeks, and I’ve only had 4 weeks of class). Wtf. but it’ll be funny to watch me stress out. woot. Every time I’m bitching about my work I think about how much worse I’d have it if I were still premed. Then I smile and feel like I’m Atlas and I’ve let the world roll off my back.  I shouldn’t complain, basically. I don’t have two labs. I admire those of you who do.
Instead I’m taking drama, econ, politics and policy, and Italian. Yes, I’m just taking Italian for fun. I don’t have to take it. I could take Chinese or Spanish or something more useful. But screw all of you who say that. You sound like my parents. And once you sound like them, you lose points. Don’t be boring. Don’t disappoint me with practicality.
I’ve realized that I associate myself more with people from Hawaii than I do w/ other Chinese people. It’s probably because of the language thing. It’s weird how strong the link of language can be. I caught a few hardcore (as in, not from the US, well I think…) Chinese people giving me the meanest, most mocking looks across a restaurant as I was just waiting for my food to come. And I used to think I was just being stupid and picking up nonexistent weird vibes about being around Chinese people who aren’t from the US. But I realized I get hostility from some of them. They might not even notice it, but I sure do. The very thought that people stereotype especially among their own race is interesting, to put it lightly. Sadly I find myself becoming defensive and stereotyping too… I joke about FOB Asians. I know some of them look down on me for not being able to speak my own language. Hey it bothers me too, but I’m not interested in learning it at this moment. The people who scorn me for not being able to speak Chinese… I hate it but I will naturally start to scorn them. How can you respect someone who disrespects you? I know it’s possible but it’s hard. All I can say is how disgusted I was at those people that day I was at that restaurant. Do I make you angry because I don’t speak Chinese, don’t look like I’m going to a job interview every moment of every day? That’s sad, people, very sad. I sometimes think it’s just me separating myself from them, but it’s mutual sometimes. So that’s why I’m not such an active member of all those Asian clubs. If you see me at one of their events, I can bet you my life savings that I’m there for the free food.
Anyway, I saw Death Cab for Cutie last week. Time for some very bad, blurry pictures.
Don't you just love how I chose to take the picture at the exact moment BOTH their backs were turned? Now damn, that's talent!
They were great, but here and there I got bored. (ah don’t get mad at me!) It was wonderful, but everybody just stood there and tapped their feet, which is fine. But I am not a HUGE fan of theirs and I'm used to a little bit more: the shoving, the mass of people falling over, people getting pissed, crowd surfers kicking everybody. I used to hate it, but it’s become a weird comfort thing. Don’t get me wrong – I can’t go into the middle of the mosh pits. Those guys are CRAZY. But if you’ve been to one of those types of shows, you know what I mean. You can still be on the floor and get enough shoving to last a week. Therefore I was in dire need of a show like that, when you come out sweating (and 50% of that sweat is not yours), when you’re gross afterwards, have bruises in random areas, when you feel like your ribcage is going to be crushed.
Thus I saw Thrice this past Friday for shits and giggles. This was the second time I’ve seen them (the first time was in Hawaii in '04 I think). The Bled and Underoath were the opening bands. Dude, it was really worth going to. I goddamn loved it. It made me miss my weird punk days. I was right next to the left speaker so my left ear was practically deaf the rest of the night. 90% of my hearing that night (and maybe 25% today) was just ringing. I just fear the morning when I wake up and it’s still ringing. At this rate I’ll probably be deaf in a few years. Shit, man, shit!
Compared with 2004:
Remind me to get a camera that's not a hand-me-down and can record more than 4 seconds of video.
It's funny that both shows were at the Riviera. I will probably always remember that place as the venue I saw the Mars Volta at last year. That might've been one of the best shows I've ever been to.
Oh, and I took my sister to see Wicked! I was crazy excited because I knew she’d love it. (Also it was an excuse for me to see it again with better seats. Mua. Ha. Ha.) That lady Ana Gasteyer from SNL played Elphaba. I was skeptical and worried at first, but she sang beautifully and her voice was strong. Props, lady! Do you like the songs from Wicked? I know you do! Let’s get together and sing them at the top of our lungs and shame ourselves!
I bought a blender for my room to make random smoothies. It was worth it. I recommend one to everybody. It’s great for making random drinks and when you get angry you can just crush ice. You can be like: yo bitch, I own you!
Yeah it’s late. But I’m always this weird so I don’t know why I’m finding an excuse.
So, I’m bitter every time I have to wake up. I have issues getting up in the morning, when I really have no excuse; my earliest class is at 11:30. Well, just don’t mess with me when I have to get up. I am in my darkest, angriest moments when I hear my alarm. Juuuuust fyi.
I have discovered the beauty of Chinese food delivery. As a direct result of that and the fact that I don’t exercise at all, I think my beloved metabolism will soon quit or die. And I will then be majorly screwed. Uh oh. That’s what happens when there’s no beach and no waves. DAMN.
Ok I’m tired of typing random thoughts. And I think I’m finally tired. Woot!
So good night, dear void.
p.s. I've been out of the xanga loop for so long. Here are the 5 songs I've been listening to the most recently:
~ Tema Del Cinema (from Cinema Paradiso) - Ennio Morricone
~ Theme from Malena - Ennio Morricone
~ Dearly Departed - Devotchka
~ How It Ends - Devotchka
~ Where Idols Once Stood - Thrice (and many other Thrice songs recently)
for those Morricone songs, listen to the Yo-Yo Ma recordings. they're beautiful. k NOW i'm out.
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| Warning: This entry is long. Hope you have some extra time to read at least some of it.
Tonight I saw two independent movies at Varsity Theater w/ Joyce and Elliott. I’m so glad that we saw the movies that we did. First we saw a short movie called Stealing Innocence which tells the story of two best friends, an Israeli and a Palestinian, who are ultimately torn apart by the violence of the war going on around them. The acting isn’t great, but it makes its point.
The next film was unforgettable. The film was 54 min. long, called Seoul Train. I recommend it to everybody. It’s about North Koreans attempting to escape their country (due to one of the worst famines in history). They must go through China, since they can’t directly go through the border into South Korea. Crossing the border into China is just the first step in a long line of dangerous steps towards freedom and safety – the Chinese government captures North Korean refugees and returns them to North Korea, where they are imprisoned, tortured, and probably executed, since they are considered betrayers to their country.
It was the footage of the refugees in China that was extremely difficult to watch. The camera followed 3 different groups of refugees in China, ranging 5-12 people each. Each group was led by an Underground Railroad activist (the group that helps North Korean refugees escape from China into friendlier neighboring countries such as Mongolia before helping them return to South Korea). It’s hard to watch even simple interviews with these refugees – once they have become healthy enough to look normal, they dress in bright colors to appear as South Korean tourists. At no point can they relax; if they’re discovered, even local non-military Chinese won’t hesitate to report them to the government.
Through the interviews, I felt protective of the refugees, especially the women and children. One entire group of refugees was arrested at the Mongolian border. This group included a woman 8.5 months pregnant. She was sent back to North Korea along with the others and probably tortured then executed. Another group was a family of five: a young woman with her cute 2-yr-old daughter, elderly mother, husband, and brother. The plan was to have them run from a motel across the street into the gates of the Japanese embassy to gain asylum. They staked out the place for about a week, studying the schedules of the Chinese guards nearby. The activist instructed the husband and uncle to push the guards away so that the two women and the child could get in first.
I’ll never forget the footage of the family running into the gate.
The two men ran in first. The mother, the grandmother, and the 2-yr-old girl were struggling for their lives with at the gate, with at least five Chinese guards grabbing them and forcing them away from the gate. The three were arrested.
The only consoling thought is that since the event was highly publicized, the family was luckily reunited and ended up safely in South Korea.
The MoFA Seven is a different story. These 7 refugees, including two young women, are told by an activist to try the official approach to gain asylum in China: apply to become a legal refugee. Thus, they fill out the forms and write a few banners (such as “Help Us Gain Freedom”). When they peacefully walk up to the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs and hand the guards their applications, the guards rip the papers apart and tear the banners from the refugees’ hands, then forcefully handcuff them and drag them away as if those refugees had just brought bombs to the building.
My description does not even come close to doing the film justice. Go to www.seoultrain.com if you have time. What really got me was the image of the little girl being grabbed, practically INSIDE the gate of the Japanese embassy already, the grandmother being pushed to the ground, the mother being torn away from her child. The guards tearing the banners from their hands, not even glancing at the words once. Footage of natural disasters such as the famine, the tsunami, the hurricane, are heartbreaking. But those are due to nature. (Well, what follows the disaster is a different story…) What I REALLY cannot comprehend or accept is the lack of humanity among people in this world.
These refugees are just like you and me. You know what makes us different? Pure luck. We were born here. When I say here, I mean Hawaii. I mean the United States. I’m not saying that the US is perfect. OH HECK NO. Don’t get me started. But if you look at the grand scheme of what is happening and what HAS been happening on the other side of the world (and this side of the world too…), it’s hard to even fathom the feelings that so many people have to deal with. Running for your life, LITERALLY. Being hunted for trying to innocently survive - not for stealing, not for harming anyone. Not knowing whether your relatives are alive. Deciding to save a child or parent. Deciding which child to save. Being dragged out of your home by soldiers. Not having a home. Walking on dead bodies. I don’t ever want to know what that feels like.
I am a lucky and somewhat ignorant person. I worry about such trifle matters: what to major in, how high the gas prices are now (absurdly high). I feel horrible that I don’t spend more time simply recognizing the fact that so many inhumane things are going on in the world. I wonder how I can sometimes totally forget that these things are going on and still be considered human. I guess it’s natural. But recognizing is the first step…
It’s weird and sad how easily we (or at least I) forget these things. For example Darfur was one of the biggest issues the past few years, yet the tsunami came in Sri Lanka and people forgot about Darfur. There’s always a new disaster whether due to politics, culture, religion, nature, or whatever. I guess the best we can do is: be aware and speak out. And dude I’m still working on being aware.
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OWNED!!!!
How is it possible to have so many best friends
This summer was (and still is) the best yet. My group of friends is perfect and I wouldn't change it for anything. They're genuine and hilarious and I'll always be 150% comfortable around them. So much fun, all the time! Even if it's just chilling out, chatting, being silly. That's usually when the best moments occur.  I'm so thankful for you guys! hehe  I miss you guys that are back at school on the mainland!
We may act like 4-yr-old children a lot, but at the end of the day, we're here for each other. I'm sorry that Sean and Hil had to deal with very heavy issues this summer, but I hope that being in our company helped them out a bit. Perhaps to make them smile. Or laugh. 
I'm still having fun everyday, although it's a bit more chill. The beaches are wonderful. I think I'll have a harder time leaving than last year. Friends who haven't started school yet, both here and on the mainland, say how bored they are. For those people on the mainland, yeah it sucks, sorry. Land-locked blues. But for the people here, wtf, just go to the beach. Catch the south swell while it lasts. I think people who go body boarding or surfing or body surfing or ANYTHING that has to do w/ catching waves.... they know that riding waves is pure fun... plus it flushes out all of my bad emotions at least temporarily, so it's my release. ...endless summer...
My summer ends Sept. 21 but dude I'm making use of every day (in my opinion, haha) and I'm having so much fun even if it's just relaxing with friends, talking, yelling at each other, it's all good. You guys (who mostly don't really read xanga anymore ironically) are still so damn entertaining. I'm so happy right now, and I know I'll have to bite the bullet going back to school soon like everyone else has but until then, I don't wanna change a thing. Right now life is sweet and sublime | | |
| By the way, with all those things going on.... that eviction going on in the Gaza strip and the Chinese government's violent reinforcement of their one-child policy and everything else happening in that hemisphere and those things that I should but don't know about... I'm so lucky to be living in the US. Things are so sweet and dandy for me here that I often forget about the important events going on elsewhere in the world or how extremely oppressive other governments can be. Things that once seemingly only existed in my textbooks as history are present reality.
When did death become a reality for you?
When did life
Is that the same question?
Do you understand what I'm saying?
This site has been rotting here for months. Gotta give it a little facelift.
Friends are going back to college now, but I'll still be in Hawaii for another month due to the crap quarter system. I don't dislike the quarter system due to its weird vacation schedule but for its rushed feel. Midterms every other week. What fun is that!
This summer has been the best yet. I'm done with my job which wasn't too bad, and my coworkers were such hilarious people that a part of me wanted to keep working just so I could hear their jokes and talk with them every day. Well, now that I'm not working I'm just chilling out and hanging out w/ friends and going to the beach. I'm trying not to bang up my new surfboard, but you guys know how I can be sometimes.  I hate driving with it. I feel like it's going to fall off and get run over or something like that. Thus, I end up driving the speed of a snail. I apologize if you see me on the road with my surfboard.
Since I'm on the subject of driving, I'd like to say that I think that once people reach a certain old age, they should have to do the actual road test in order to renew their licenses. If and when I become an old lady, I will allow you to make sure I can drive well before I can drive on my own. I think that's fair and square. hehe
I'm glad that I came back in June, after drama had died down. Overall, things turned out well this summer. I don't want to go back to college, back to the classes, stress, work, bad food, bad weather, and nonexistant beaches. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune by the middle of September, but until then I'm one big happy face.
I've been getting back into guitar, learning new songs and stuff from online. I feel bad for my sister who's now back from her trip, who has to listen to me play. Mua. ha. ha. Piano is fun too, I don't have to worry about people walking by and paying attention. I just play old songs and don't stress out.
Thank god for the beach and waves. I realize it's an integral part of my life as a place to release stress. I know that sounds weird since I'm attending college in Chicago, but it's true, and of all the things I miss most from Hawaii, it's not the private room that I miss most - it's the food and the beaches. K, gotta get going, will update more later! byeeee
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| hello out there:
I'm sure some of you are at home chilling out already while I'm still here in Chicago. I hope you're having fun with the sun and all that! I'm not complaining about still being here; apart from the massive amounts of work and papers I should be worrying about, there's still life in this place, and lots of it. I will be thoroughly stressed out very soon, which is the polar opposite of how I am right now (imagine a blob hanging out everywhere). These last two weeks have been full of stuff to distract me, I'm gonna reminisce about them, because I know you really care. 
<-- I hate this face, seriously. I hate it so much I'm going to put it throughout this entry. I don't care what you think. I'm in a weird mood, and I think it's hilarious that this stupid face will pop up when you don't want to see it at all.
Last week Monday was The Mars Volta. It rocked. I returned home and realized I had several bruises on my arms, souvenirs I guess. haha. They are a great band, played just 8 songs straight for two hours, no opening act. Straight to the goods.
Yay for blurry pictures. Those are a few out of a billion I took. whoopee.
Last week Thursday, we saw the new Star Wars, which was way better than the other 2 newer ones, but still was no comparison at all to the old ones. What's with the hair, Anakin? And whoever Natalie Portman's hair stylist and costume designer was: you suck. She's beautiful, and she can act (need evidence? see Leon the Professional.) But heck, those lines make me want to be deaf... The romance scenes made me want to die , but at least the combat scenes were better. Please notice I did not call the movie "great" or "excellent".... Still, it was fun going the first night (well, the actual hardcore people went on Wednesday night, but screw that).
Last week Saturday was my school's Summer Breeze, a kind of fair / carnivale that we can roam around at and eat popcorn and ice cream and slushies and cotton candy and play games and win stuff for free. I was hanging out w/ the little kids I tutor each week, and that was fun and cute until they started getting out of hand with the water bottles and water fights. The weirdest thing was that none of their water balloons ever burst on me. They just bounced off all of the tutors. Haha. We're Invincible. There was also a hypnotist - I am 90% sure it was the same guy that was at our graduation thing at D&B's, which was a cool coincidence, if I'm correct. Running around with water guns and inflatable things and getting henna tattoos made me feel like a little kid again...
My friend won a goldfish and gave it to me. My friend named him Spunky, which I was hesitant to accept because (Sex and the City alert) of the episode in which Samantha thinks her guy's spunk is funky... haha. Anyway, I loved Spunky and he died just the other day. Dammit.
After Summer Breeze, we saw Ted Leo & the Pharmacists and Nas and some country singer. Ted Leo was great, Nas was the first rapper I've seen live, and... I don't know what to say about the country singer. She was good for a country singer. (that was deep)
By the way, don't expect any deep thoughts in this entry at all, not even attempts at them. And don't ask why.
Deep thought #9: I hate looking at this . Does it think it's better than ?
I don't think I'll ever reread this entry. Not after that statement right above.
Last night we saw Wicked! It is definitely one of my favorite musicals. In fact, I think it beats Les Mis, and is even on the same level as Phantom. It's clever, fresh, and the vocals are so wonderful. I wish I had read the second half of the book. haha. Anyway, it was great, EXCELLENT, extraordinary. It was worth the money; I'll definitely see it again someday (hopefully). I feel this cast was perfect; at no time during the play did I ever compare the main characters to Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel. *sigh*
Dude... thank god I got those tickets months ago....
If you want to know how impressive the vocals are in that musical (if you don't know already), try to sing along with Defying Gravity. haha. You'll inevitably ruin it, as I do each time I sing it. It's still good fun. We can sing it together and ruin it together. yay
I finally saw Taxi Driver. YOU TALKIN TO ME?
No matter how many times I watch The Royal Tenenbaums or About a Boy, I still laugh...
That reminds me - you should listen to "Something to Talk About" by Badly Drawn Boy from the About a Boy soundtrack. Listen to anything Badly Drawn Boy.
Wow this entry doesn't feel like it was an entry at all, in fact, I feel like it's full of shit (as I guess all my entires are). Whatever. I'm not deleting this. Enjoy this crap entry.
Here are some pictures from yesterday and last night:
K, enough of this. I should stop now while I'm behind. Enjoy the random pics and events I threw on here. Wicked was honestly the pinnacle of this week, and I hope that all of you guys (who haven't already seen it) see it someday. At least listen to the soundtrack. It's impressive and inspirational. The lyrics are a bit Chicken Soup for the Soul-ish, but it works so you don't even care. Well I don't. OK BYE see you soon! | | |
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