THE BEST REVENGES

revenge #1 -  RE: see my very last post

when judgemental individuals who clearly do not know you at all decides to be childish by creating an anonymous account just to slander you for example, call you names, tell you are not worth anything, & threaten your job, the best revenge is to be the adult, talk to them like an equal, never use foul language, keep your calm, & most importantly, prove them wrong & their words to be without merit without ever needing to stoop to their level.

i got my year-end review yesterday.  i'm getting promoted.  it was kind of embarassing to hear so much praise.  i'm just doing my job, but i'm grateful that someone thinks i'm doing it right. 

hsbcworker , sorry to disappoint, but it looks like your sources were wrong.  i guess those who count do like me.

revenge #2 - RE: the ex factors - to all the "nice guys/girls" & hopeless romantics out there who love unconditionally, live by the rules of loyalty, & give with the utmost sincerity, only to get screwed over & taken for granted, this one's for you

2.5 years ago my 1st ex-bf found me on facebook & offered the apology of the year...7 years late...
June 9, 2005 blog

6 days ago, my 2nd ex-bf, also found me on facebook.  after a couple initial friendly exchanges of words, i get this:

1:21am Jan 28th
I am sorry for all that I have done in the past. I was a stupid little kid and my actions reflected that. Really the reason why I contacted you was to apologize. A lot has changed in 7 years. Ever since I acted like the jerk I was to you I've been haunted by feelings of guilt and remorse and I know that having those feelings has helped me change over the years, I'd like to think for the better.

You don't have to believe me. If I were you I probably wouldn't believe me either, and I wouldn't blame you. I'm just trying to set things right. I would never expect your forgiveness but I am sorry for all the wrong I have done you.

i gave what little i had to him.  i did my absolute best.  i loved him.  but he didn't appreciate me.  my blog about my first ex. pretty much describes my approach to this one as well.  i even did the noble thing of matchmaking him with the girl who he cheated on me with whom not only knew about me, but tried to be my friend.  i was destroyed for a while after i'd finally been abused enough to leave.  thankfully, time eventually dulls/heals most forms of pain, this one included.

karma is an incredible force.  for those who believe in it, keep the faith.  live by it.  trust me, it's worth the wait.  for those who do not believe, perhaps you should.  it's a great guide.  this blog is testament to that.

THE ANTI-FAN

supposedly, someone who works with me dislikes me & is threatening my job.  jealousy?  someone who has no friends?  someone who has a tendency to intentionally interpret your every gesture in their presence as insulting even if it is unintentioned?  who knows?  but if it is jealousy this person needs to relax.  there is no reason to be jealous of me. 

the post, as you will see, is mean-spirited, but i find it amusing that someone actually went out of their way to create an account just to slander me.  in a twisted way, i'm almost flattered.

the post:

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

• layoff warning

  HEY MISS LAU YOUR DAYS AT HSBC ARE NUMBERED. HAVE FUN ON UNEMPLOYMENT LINE. NO ONE AT WORK CAN STAND YOUR SORRY ASS. YOU THINK YOURE THE SHIT BUT YOU AINT NUTTING!

  • 12:02 AM

courtesy of  hsbcworker

whoever you are, i appreciate your concern, but unless you are my manager & this is your cowardly way of telling me (under which circumstances, i don't want to work for you anyways), i'm pretty certain that i won't be going anytime soon. & if you're not my manager & you think i'm afraid of losing my job, then you don't know me well enough to pass judgement on my character at all.  i'm realistic & am always prepared for rainy days.  i actually ask my boss to lay me off all the time!

i don't know from your cryptic note, why you have a problem with me, so let me address the possible scenarios that come to mind. 

i'm not the pretentious one, but clearly you are.  i do my job.  i can't judge my own work, but i've been told by those i answer to that i do a decent job,  & i'm ok with that.  if they have complaints or suggestions, i'm cool with that too.  in general, i take only if i can give.  i don't ever claim to be the nicest person, but i do try to be friendly.  give me a reason, & i can be nasty.  i also like to joke.  if you can't take a joke, then tell me & give me a chance to respect that.  i also don't walk around with my nose in the air.  if i don't talk to you, i don't know you; it's nothing personal.  & if i don't like you, i won't go out of my way to smile to your face & talk behind your back either.  if you're taking offense because i'm not fake, won't kiss your a---, or will walk by you on my way to the bathroom, then i find you to be a pretty self-centered, miserable human being.  i don't expect to have everyone's attention, don't expect people to always like or agree with me, & am perfectly fine with it.  i don't presume to know much.  i don't talk down to people.  & i can admit that i don't know many things & will ask.  i would hope that the people i work with are mature enough to tell me to my face that i'm whatever you think i am.  even if you have nothing nice to say about me, at least i can respect you for pulling me aside & saying it to my face or at least make an effort to try to understand if you're misinterpreting something i did or said.  at least give me a chance to realize my actions & explain/apologize.  what is with this gutless/cowardly anonymous account, a blog with a warning without merit, & all this tough talk?  be a man/woman & stand up to me, face-to-face.  i'm not scared.  i can handle it.  why are you afaid to own up to your own opinion?  it's yours; take credit for it.  i won't bite you.  people who hide or do the anonymity thing usually fall under the categories of shady, slimey, socially inept, insecure, have something to hide, or believes about someone that which has not/cannot be proven to be true & are afraid that someone will see right through them.  what are you trying to hide?

if your whole purpose is to get a rise out of me, good for you, but it didn't work. i'm not sad.  not upset.  not going to cry about it.  annoyed?...not even.  i am amused & actually inspired to blog about it.  in about 5 minutes, i will be over it.  there.  now you have had your 10 minutes of my attention.  congratulations.

if i don't get canned, then you're just hating for the sake of hating.  if i do become unemployed, i can finally take a real vacation without worry.  my life is versatile & adaptive, so don't you worry about me.

enjoy being miserable, & thank you for giving me something to write about & for my first laugh of the day!

p.s. if you think i'm conceited, then you should really lay off obssessing over me through such means as blogging about me, messaging me, investigating me, or thinking about ways to make me tick, etc.  it's stalkerish & will feed my human ego!

APPLES & TREES

UGH!...moms can be such impossible psychopaths. 

for those of you whom have irrational, meddling, high-strung, paranoid, nagging, bi-polar, hyper-emotional, old old O L D school control-freak, conspiracy theorist moms (think Joy Luck Club moms all rolled into one), i'm so so SO sorry.  if you're a daughter, just being born gives you the right of passage to heaven.  it's like the equivalent of an insanity plea for killing someone.  just use the meal ticket on judgement day.  until then, i don't look forward to contributing my hard-earned money to my future shrink's amazing mansion on his/her own island, while i live in my filty, rat-infested apartment building with no heat in the winter & no hot water every so often.

my mom is a wonderful person...kind, big heart, always wants to help even if her help, completely well-intentioned as it always is, will make your life miserable (the result part of which she can somehow never be able to conceptualize/fathom/believe can be), but she is totally dilusional when it comes to her own children & how to make their lives easier.

@#$%^&* she fights so dirty.  they all fight so dirty.  you can't even reason with them because their debate style is not logical & nothing like yours.  god forbid you made a mistake  or said something nasty you don't really mean out of anger when you were 7.  the shit will come back out and bite you in an unrelated argument 20 years later!

my god, if i ever turn into one of those, please kill me so i can't torture the shit out of my kids for no reason!

i need to take up kick-boxing or visit the shooting range before i hurt someone.

SINCE YOU'RE SO NICE, LET ME FUCK YOU OVER & PEE ON YOUR CARCASS

okay, i really don't understand why some people have to be assholes for no reason.  i'm especially disgusted by people who take advantage of nice people just because they are nice & aren't expected to fight back.  it's an especially touchy subject because i grew up watching my mom & brother, 2 of the nicest, kindest, most naive, compassionate & harmless individuals get walked on by people who are stronger, tougher, & whom are so insecure that they have to make up for what they find lacking in themselves to walk on or treat someone less likely to bite back like dirt in order to feel better about themselves.

hey, i don't claim to be the nicest person in the world, but i try to be a good person.  i give strangers the benefit of the doubt, & would not hesitate to help friends or even someone i don't know who is in a bind to no fault of their own.  i believe in balance & reason.  i believe in chivalry & earning respect.  i believe in kindness & loyalty.  i believe in what is fair.  i don't want to take from you, don't try to take what's mine.  if i give to you, i give whole-heartedly & won't talk about what i've done for you...until you piss me off.  when you're mad at someone for taking advantage of you, i think it's fair to talk about why they are fucked up, what you've done for them, & why you think it's a one-sided relationship where you have done most of the lifting & carrying (of course, that would have to be the incontestable case).  you are entitled to the right to make a reasonable case for why something is not acceptable, why you feel undeservingly betrayed, or why you don't deserve to be stuck in that relationship.

my bf is a really nice guy.  he's got a good heart & will always let people go first.  in fact, he's so nice that sometimes i get angry at him for not standing up for himself when people walk on him.  i do not believe in screwing people over, even if they have screwed me.  then, you are no better than they are.  then, you have no right to pass judgement on them or label them as bad people.  i cannot live like that.  however, i also don't believe in helping people who would push me into front of oncoming traffic to save their own skin or for something that money can buy.  & i am definitely against being bullied & taking it passively. 

when my bf moved into his current apartment, his roommate had been living there for almost 3 years.  though his room was 25% bigger & his gf was living there 5-6 days a week, this guy still decided to pretty much split the rent right down the middle.  he would only be paying 50 bucks more than my bf.  first of all, it's an apt. in midtown nyc...a 2.5K+ apt.  if we were to go by square footage, he should have been paying a few hundred more than my bf.  plus, his gf LIVED there.  i don't care what they say.  if she was there just 2 nights a week on average, whatever.  she slept there at least 5 nights/week, 90% of the times 7 nights.  she should have been coughing up 10-20% of all the rent/bills (since she didn't have her own room).  she still used the water, the electricity, the cable, the internet, the toilet paper.  she still shared in helping dirty the place which calls for the purchase of cleaning products.  she still needed to take a shit in that toilet.  my bf, being the nice guy he is, just took the dealwithout argument from the start.

when we started dating, i used to go over frequently & clean.  the place was filthy, absolutely disgusting.  i am a clean freak, so i couldn't comfortably hang out there.  i would always wipe the place down, mop, disinfect, scrub, you name it.  i even scrubbed down the tiles & in between them in the shower.  let me tell you, none of us knew that the tiles were originally white.  we all thought they were suppose to be a dark tan color.  yes, D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G.  anyways, so i cleaned, & it was cool.  but the fucker & his lazy gf (she is a very nice person, but if you married her, your kids will be sick from bacterial infections all the time) would spill soup or food all over the kitchen counters & in the refridgerator & just ignore it.  they would leave their garbage hanging out in the open even after fruit flies started swarming & food started rotting.  i mean, i don't expect you to clean with me or live up to my standards, by goddamn, what i did benefits you too, so at least try to keep it clean.  is that unreasonable???

the roommate & now fiancee recently found a new place to live.  between starting the new lease & fulfilling the old one, there would have been a 6 week gap.  they found a girl (let's call her J) on craigslist to take over the room until then (yes, illegal sublet).  J, after living there for 2 weeks, just told my bf today what she was paying.  the fucker inflated the rent & told her that it is $300 more than what he really pays.  so over the course of 6 weeks, he was going to pocket 450-500.  not only that, he took one month's rent from her as security (the full chunk of rent he pays + the 300).  that's fucked up.  she's a single girl living in manhattan & is not making that much money.  my bf feels so bad & wants to help, & i totally encourage it.  that's such a load of bull.  why should he make money off of her when already, she's shelling out more than a 1500 just to have a roof? 

i hate people like him - nice face, charming, smart, articulate, & a downright slimey piece of shit.  my bf spoke with J, & she's a little upset but is not up to fighting for herself.  fuck that.  you take back what's yours.  you're not taking from anyone. if he doesn't like you, so what?  should you really care about someone like that?  do you think he will ever be a friend or come through for you in your time of need?  J doesn't look/dress/spend like she makes a lot or that she comes from a lot, so maybe it's from her parents.  even so, i would not piss away my parents' hard money like that.  send it back to them.  buy something nice for them/yourself.  or if you're that generous, donate it to some kid, elder, or disabled person who really needs it.  there are plenty of unfortunates on the street who physically can't work or kids who want to, but are too poor to go to school or buy books.  seriously, why keel over in defeat & let someone that undeserving have it???  i really disliked the guy before.  sure he's nice...to your face, & he's never done me wrong, but this is just wrong.  before, i encouraged my bf to just hang in there until the lease was up, take what's his own, & cut his losses.  now, i want to see this guy get what's coming to him.  this poor girl should get her money back, & then tell the landlord what that fucker is doing so the landlord can eat his deposit.  if she doesn't fight this fight, he'll try it again on someone else because he will be encouraged to believe that it's ok.  it's not.  this my friends, is why nice people turn into complete assholes themselves.  you meet enough people like this & most people will go from super-nice to 'fuck you all'.

SUGAR FIENDS UNITE!

hello everyone

the company still has xanga firewalled, & i'm still too pooped or busy after work practicing being some future poor soul's wife each night to blog.

so...on the rare night i've found some time/energy to revisit this old friend...

i'm looking for inspiration.

earlier in the year, i unearthed a hidden talent.  after 26 years of no interest at all in the subject, i have discovered that i am somehow, a pretty good baker.

so far, i have perfected* basic recipes for carrot cake, pound cake, biscotti, flourless chocolate cake, creme brulee, and crepes.  as far a unbaked sweets are concerned, i can also make a mean chocolate mousse, coconut gelatin, & zeppole.

*disclaimer:  yes, i know that it's ballsy for me to claim that i've perfected something.  & before i get a barrage of anti-arrogance comments, i just want to clarify that i don't & will never claim to best at anything.  in fact, i don't think i'm even good at much.  i understand that my standards are not the universal standards, & i accept & embrace that reality.  i write what i wrote above based on what i've had, what i love, what i look for, & the feedback of those couple dozen guinea pigs/voluntary test subjects whom have tasted it. 

so anyhoo, back to the point of all this...

i'm now trying to expand my repertoire of conquered dessert/sweets recipes.  i'm aiming to try my hand at figuring out a really good chocolate chip cookie, oatmeal raisin cookie, brownie, red bean paste pancake, & bread pudding next.

what i would like to know is, what do you guys have an undeniable sweet-tooth for?