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mizz_chan
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Name: Ally
Gender: Female
Interests: I love being out in nature. Beach, forest, you name it. I love being near water, and swimming, even though I really can't. I love food, and people. Baking, cooking, and eating of course. I love talking, and having amazing conversations that make you think about things. Ones that at the end of you go, "wow that was worth every word." People that push you to your limits and force you to reach for more are the best. I love the obvious; friends and family. They're all truly amazing people, and cliche as this sounds - I wouldn't be the same person without them. I love reading and writing. I am in love with the sun, and being outdoors. Summer is basically the best season ever. I adore little kids, and I love working with children. I could keep on going, but really, there's no point.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
MSN: ask =)
ICQ:  195598948
Member Since:
10/18/2004
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| Hospital Rant1. Have you ever felt like all of a sudden things were different, but somehow, all just the same? As if a certain person in your life no longer cares for you in the same way, but still cares unconditionally. It's hard to explain, it's like your relationship changes into something brand new, but the people in it are still unchanged. Weird, I know. It's like knowing that things aren't the same, but also believing and knowing that in the end, it really won't be all that bad.
2. We are all faced wtih challenges. It's a part of life - the pain, sadness, anger and heartache we endure. It's not about making it through because you will, we all do eventually. It's about how you come out on the other side - whether you sit and sulk about the situation and feel bad or whether you embrace it and learn from it, making the most of what you're giving and learning from it, taking away something you could not have otherwise known or come to know had you not struggled. IT's about embracing what is there for you to take: the good, the bad and the ugly.
3. What is it that we are afraid of? Everyone has a fear - whether it be of spiders, heights, death or the unknown. What drives us to be afraid? To be terrified of an object or though. I think that my greatest fear is of time. The passing of time (and often how quickly it does so) absolutely terrifies me. Strung into that idea is th though of having to grow up - especially when you're not ready for it. I suppose it can be argued that we're never really "ready" to grow up, but I do beleive that there is an appropriate time. I fear time becuase it consumes us. Time devours our unfufilled dreams and missed opportunities. Often the passing of time also means the loss of distinction in the memories we play and replay in our mind, trying so desperately to keep them alive. Time picks away at us day by day, minute by minute until there is non left at all. Each moment that passes us by brings us one step closer to an ending. I don't think I fully understand how to embrace the uture and forget about the past. The time that has already gone by is so much more definite. Although I have no real control, I can choose what to remember. The time that lies ahead, however, is even scarier. I cannot control what happens tomorrow. I have absolutely no say in what will happen. It could be joyous and exciting. It could be tragic and heartbreaking. When we are given a limited but undefined amount of time, we lose outselves in attempts to make the most out of "up to a year" or "no more than 6 months". We all want our time to have been well spent but what's the point when time itself will eventually vanish such memories?
4. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but the relief I felt
after doing so washed all those questions away. I was so scared of
growing up, of losing the past. Now, I've realized that we can't ever
move forward if we never let go of what is already done. No one is ever
really ready to grow up, and I suppose we are never really dont
growing. As each stage of our lives pass us, there always comes another
to grow into. You'll laugh; You'll cry; You'll be loved; You'll be
hurt. You'll be overwhelmed with emotions and yet feel indifference,
but it's all a part of growing up.
I've spent a lot of time at the hospital or home alone in the past month. There are my rants written in books and throughout my agenda. It's my way of passing the time & I thought I'd share that with you.
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| SorryI apologize for the lack of updates. I haven't been getting much sleep, and I'm so behind on all my homework. Just trying to manage right now. I'll return with a longer entry hopefully sometime this weekend, no guarantees. What's gone on so far?
Carnival at school went really well. I heard students talking about it in the halls today and saying how much fun they had last night, I'm so glad. So much work went into this carnival and although things came up (as they always do) throughout the day, in the end the whole event was quite a success. During the preperation: Dance Addicts (oh .. wow /begins to run + I am a H.A.T.D + have you felt the rush? + he's here!), McDonalds ice (assembly line, doors closing), Costco run (racing carts, searching for Gorsic, happy faces, the women who knew Costco too well), Safeway run (inside lane, car noises, the speed in which we work).
School is coming along, things are still a bit crazy, but it's starting to die down now that the whole carnival prep stuff is over and done with. Dealing with the office these days is both good and bad, haha. Today was super anti-social. Starting at lunch, I locked myself in an empty room and did Math homework, all the way up until block c (which is my study), then obviously a class came in, but I managed to get my work done.
Went to teach the juniors at 776 today. They're so cute, and so well behaved!
Everyday is the same old, same old. Molly drove me home today, haha! Other than that, just trying to stay awake and "stress manage" at this point. Not that there is much rearranging that can be done. I'd say no more tears, but that's just not how things are going to work. No worries though, I'm balancing that out with some good laughs and good talks.
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| sixteen.. days straight at the hospital. It's almost like a second home.
I'm so tired. The days are never-ending, overwhelming.
Thank you for keeping me sane, no names, this is for me.
I love you and I miss you (more than one).
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| Drowningin
lack of sleep &
exhaustion &
stress &
tears &
fear.
i feel like crawling in a hole.
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| Hello SummerSummer has gone by so incredibly quickly. A quick overview of what I've done since my last update, say, in point form.
- Long walk (in the neighbourhood and down to the trails).
- Blueberry picking.
- Watched the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (the first one, at 2 in the morning).
- Stayed up till 4:30am to watch the Olympic opening ceremonies, and waking up to catch only the last half hour.
- Sleepover with Jaclyn.
- Gone to the States to shop, twice (finally found a grad picture dress ... needs to be altered).
- Worked (with Naomi! &J. & Elvis and Bryan).
- CPR-a-thon (which went really well!).
- Watched THE DARK KNIGHT. Amazing movie. Will probably try and see it again.
- Movie night at Joseph's (Harold and Kumar, Cranium, Wii).
- Went out with my grandma =).
- Went to the mall.
- Went down to English Bay and got Marble Slab!
- Watched Mamma Mia! It wasn't the greatest movie, and I didn't feel as if all the songs were performed the best they could have been. It makes me feel as if it would be five times better live.
- Bused all the way to Park Royal & managed not to get lost.
- Took the seabus (haven't done that since I was really really young).
- Had all you can eat hot pot dinner at Top Gun, and got kicked out (apparently we stayed too late - it was 10:20, they close at 11).
- SAW CALLUM. My little boy is so big now - I can't believe he's going to kindergarten. He came to visit for a little bit today. I really miss Ethan.
- Dinner at Boston Pizza (post CPR-a-thon).
- Gone to the park.
- Got school supplies (that are made from recycled/post-consumer materials!).
- I really can't remember anymore, but I'm sure there's more ...
Anyhow, just a quick update. Back to watching Olympics =).
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