Hey everyone,

Don't know where to begin. I am ashamed of myself. We were shooting a film today at school, this time it was my job to watch over the catering. And guess what, I ate a lot! Chocolate-cookies are my weakness and I ate a lot. A LOT.

Then we had pancakes as a wrap. I feel so sad and ashamed. But I am happy, because I am free of school tomorrow and the day after. Tomorrow I am hitting the gym, working my ass off.

X Mary

Thanks for your comments! They help me so much, honestly amazing:)

I lost a kilo! How amazing is that? I am halfway there!

My intake yesterday was ok. I did eat chocolat but I skipped lunch. Jeeh! This is so motivating!

I have school today, I really don't feel like going but I HAVE to. It sucks.

Goodluck today everyone,

15.30 *edit*

God, today is awful. it started out fine, but then I went to school for nothing, once back, this girl was angry  that I left (she wanted to let me help her or something). I reckon that, at this moment, she is mad at me in front of everyone. God. And I have to work with her all day tomorrow.

I am so uncomfortable in my own skin.. I feel so ugly and fat. I wish I was invisable.

I'm off, washing my hair and watch Dawson's Creek on dvd. x

17:15- I binged on cookies. why?, oh why? Tried to purge, but it didnt work. How come? It hurts like hell.

X Mary

Today I woke up and I felt fatter than fat.

I feel like I am in the wrong body....

Damn. Damn.

*edit* - 20:15

I have sinned. But not on food; I bought a very expensive bodylotion (40 euro's!) from Viktor & Rolf. Shop-therapy helps though, but now I'm broke:( I just wondered how it would be to be thin and smell good. That would be perfect, hehe.

I felt crappy today, but better with the minute. Thansk for your comments, they are great motivation!

X M

I gained 0,5 kilo.It sucks, I was eating less the last days. How can this happen?

I feel a bit sad. My boyfriend hardly calls me and I really don't feel loved anymore. It looks like he doesn't want to spend a lot of time with me.

Hmmm, I think I am going shopping this afternoon. Shop-therapy works:)

Wish I was skinny and happy!

x M

Thinspo:

Wow. I lost another kilo. I was stunned! I think it's all waterweight though.. But I feel so mucht better now!

Today it's my dad's birthday. A lot of family is visiting, I really don't feel like it! I have a douzen coup0le of nieces and nephews and they all mess up my room. Last time, my niece was reading my diary! I freaked. So I am going to hide all the "secret" stuff and hope they won't find it.

I am sticking to this 1000 cal. diet. It works so well for me! I think I should start going to the gym again, I am way too lazy.

Take care,

X Mary

thinspo: