I know I haven't written on this in a very long time. But I was so encouraged by a song I heard tonight, I had to put it on here. It just caused me to realize how lucky we are to have Christ. Life is so hard sometimes. One day things are awesome, and the next....life takes a total turn on you. But I always have Christ to lean on. It really is amazing. Anyways, I'll put up the song before I go off on a tangent.

Held

Two months is too little.
They let him go, they had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays...
Is appauling.

Who told us we would be rescued?
What has changed, and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens to us who have died to live.
It's unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved and to know that the promise was...
When everything FELL, we'd be HELD.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley.
And tomorrow...this is what it is to be HELD.

If hope is born of suffering...
If this is only the beginning...
Can we not wait for one hour...watching for our Savior?

THIS IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HELD...

Well...It seems to be that no one writes in these things anymore. I guess Xanga is competing heavily with MySpace and Facebook. Anyways...this will probably be my last time to post for at least 4 months, since I leave for school again on Sunday.

The past few weeks have been a pretty good break for me. I've been more tired than usual, which produced hardly an activity..but it was nice to relax. I've been working for the attorney that my mom works for, so that was kind of nice. One day I got paid like $30 to fill out these 3 legal forms that took like 20 mins! I think it might have been the best and easiest $30 i've ever made. I haven't really been hanging out w/ friends much either. When I get home at 5...im whipped. So I basically eat and fall asleep on the couch watching something.

My laptop also blew up on me this week. Seriously...how can such an expensive piece of equipment just break on you! My laptop fan kept working really hard and then my computer would overheat. So..the fan finally gave out. So last night, I bought a new computer! It's sort of my first major purchase where I'm making payments and such..ya know besides a credit card and what not. It's pretty funny..the lady I talked to was asking me if I was excited. Excited about what? Getting a bill every month?!?!?! Heck no.

Anyways..i'm ready to go back to school. I love home...haha. but it's been long enough. I'm ready to get back to running on the beach and schoolwork..believe it or not. Alright folks..have a great semester..and you may see me back in May sometime. Lata.

I have often struggled with the question of "What will I do with the time that's left?" Soul-searching comes often for me...because I tend to be someone who constantly thinks. And it's been so long since i've written anything meaningful in here...well...anything at all. The days seem so long...yet so short. I wish I could say that my past time has been lived with no regret, but I'm not sure if that's even possible. Since I had done some serious soul searching about 6 months ago...I basically told myself I was going to try to live the rest of my life with no regrets. It wouldn't be perfect..but it would be lived with meaning. It's been much to easy to live life for myself. Something that makes life not enjoyable. I felt as though I had been disappointed one to many times...I gave up a lot. I refused to let things get better. Until that hope-renewed day. My past 6 months have been great. And I can say that I do not regret not one day of it. Life is good when you give it to God. Better than I can even explain. God has brought a lot of great people and things into my life...and i'm happy. Enjoying the blessings of God has truly given me a great joy in my heart. So i thought I would share that with you all.

I call, You hear me. I've lost it all, and it's more than I can bear. I feel so empty. You're strong, I'm weary. I'm holding on, but I feel like giving in. But still, You're with me.

And even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow. I will hold tight to the hand of Him whose love will comfort me. And when all hope is gone, and ive been wounded in the battle. He is all the strength that I will ever need. He will carry me.

I know I'm broken. But You alone can mend this heart of mine. You're always with me. And even though I feel so lonely, like I have never been before. You never said it would be easy, but You said You'd see me through the storm.

*A song that I sort of claim as my own. It used to often describe me..until I gave every part of my life to Christ.