to my beautiful friend  teri sue.

[and i did say beautiful, cuz you're always convinced otherwise. beautiful, i say. beautiful :) ]

i can't pull out some profound quote that'll say it all, or myself invent one this instant.

or make those m&ms extra tasty. they are magic though. the balcony would always drop them after 3rd period spanish. yours pop out of purple sweaters.

but i will do this. on xanga. which we both have loved this whole time and never faltered. few can claim that.

we've done quite alot of damage together. burning letter shaped cookies, ruining sunday school kid's lives because we wouldn't call them tiger, trying on swimming garmets without reading the directions on how we were suppose to, creating noise pollution in algebra [though we weren't the worst of the offenders], forming welts on people's arms in acapella [wait. nope. you worked solo that time. i think i was the one welting], killing boys brain cells by watching the lake house, ripping a jacket and hurting a swing, failure to kill dr. seuss before he birthed out the seuessical, letting our iron deficify itself, depriving the fashion world of 2 rainbow bras... i mean, its just too much damage for the world. i don't think they could have handled much more of it. good thing you left when you did. i mean, there would have DEFINATELY been further damages :P

straight out, teri, people who don't know are missing out. when i was trying to explain why i'd miss you so much, i said with my extensive extensive vocabulary, that you're one of a kind. and that if you know teri, you'll love teri. pretty much my explanation burned and died. you can't really explain it to people who don't know you know. you just... cant!

well your presence during those nightly gatherings with the Cool Club [its capitalized, cuz its official] will be sorely missed. we'll just have to sit around playing go fish and only think about making cakes from here on out. exciting stuff i tell you.

but all we have now to remember is a pocketful of memories, and a thumbdrive full of pictures.

i'll miss you terrrrrriiii suuuue!! 9 months. its like having a baby right :P

pain is a reality potion.

we are our most authentic selves when we're in pain. you can't fake the contrary. pain brings back the reality in all of us. your as down to earth as can be. it's what reminds you your alive, that your clock's still ticking. and it also calls for utmost authenticity. we all subconciously love authenticity. authentic chinese food, authentic ancient art, authentic words. authentic people. pain brings that out in people. in me. and i can finally be honest without fearing confrontation. it is sad that it takes that much to make me come to terms with myself, since i am allergic to pain, the honesty process happens only after severely unendurable circumstances.

but at least now i'm not afraid to speak up. to be honest.

gotta say. jetlag is a buttkiller. thats my new nasty word i'm going to call things i don't like. buttkiller. airplanes are a buttkiller, literally. its earrly. 4 55, hence the reason why jetlag is a buttkiller and its foggy out. odd huh?

just wanted to say though, thank the lord for friends. i realize i have a good deal many, which most all have on occasion walked me home at one point or another. or biked. thank goodness for totally unusual reactions coming from the taxi driver about our conversations, for gay guys that ask for our names, for knowing how to spell esmerelda spot on correctly the first time*, for itty bitty changing rooms and for the instructions to how to wear clothing to be in the most random unheard of and unseen places. for breakable waffle cones, weight rooms without closed toed shoes, and my grand sense of balance on a bike*. for the ability to still have my voice hit puberty at age 17. for kids that remember you, kids that climb into your lap only to eat your food and jack your camera, for fratrinizing felines, for 2 teas a day, sugar highs, and our creativeness to invent sign language. for totally hilarious names that appear in credits, for tripping every 3 hours on the dot, for fans and breezes, for human punch bags, for white rice, for daily breakfast dates, for phone cards, for affordable food, for being with people i love that love me.

for being back where i realize i belong :P

[* means if you were there you know the TRUE story.]