For
years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit
light, they suck dark.
Thus we call these bulbs dark suckers. The
dark sucker theory proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass
heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light.
The
basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take
for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less
dark right next to them than there is elsewhere.
The larger the
dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a
parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.
As
with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of
dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a
full dark sucker.
A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new
candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the
wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into
it.
If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle,
the tip will turn black because it got in the way of the dark flowing
into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a
very limited range.
There are also portable dark suckers. The
bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be
aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it
must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can
operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker,
friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an
operating dark sucker.
Candles present a special problem, as the
dark must travel into the solid wick instead of through glass. This
generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to
touch an operating candle.
Dark is also heavier than light. If you
swim just below the surface of a lake, you will see a lot of light. If
you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and
darker.
When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you
are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the
bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.
The
immense power of dark can be utilized to man's advantage. We can
collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it
through turbines, which generates electricity and helps push dark to
the ocean, where it may be safely stored.
Prior to turbines, it
was it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and lakes to
the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to solve it.
When
on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction as the flow of
dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark; but when
they travelled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to
help push the dark along its way.
Finally, we must prove that dark
is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in
front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you
would see the light slowly enter the closet; but since the dark is so
fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
In
conclusion, I would like to say that dark suckers make all our lives
much easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember
that it is indeed a dark sucker.
