Things are amazing.  I love Josh so much and I can't wait to be with him again.  Josh and I are on the phone constantly, its actually sorta funny.  We were on the phone for 6 hrs last night from 10pm-4am.  Wow! But, its great, we can talk about anything, not get tired of it, and have the best communication ever.  We really miss each other and can't take being apart much longer, just a little over a week I need to think, then he's mine forever, literally!  He just makes me the happiest person in the world- its constant smiles when I am with him. 

I am trying to work real hard on getting my knee back together...2 surgeries and rehab, and I am thankful cause I know it could be much worse. So, yes, my knee is somewhat sore still, but at least I have full range of motion already and I am working hard in rehab to have full mobility once again.  Its been 2 weeks today since my second knee surgery for the ACL, so I am happy.

Tonight at dinner, my dad said something a little scary...lol.  We somehow got on the topic of Victoria's Secret. He told me I should go with him and help pick out something for Gretchen...ha, yeah right! and then he said that maybe we should go to Fredericks of Hollywood instead...riiighto. Jason heard all that too- him and I about choked on our chipotle dinner.

I can't wait to see Josh, I miss him so much...I love you Josh!

Well, a lot of things have happened since the last entry, and I mean A LOT!

Let's begin with gymnastics.  It's over- all over.  Yes, 18 years of it at an end, all in one instant.  March 11, 2005 (one day after the anniversary of my mom's death, and first night with Josh...lol) at our last home competition, and last in season meet before Regionals, I fell off bars and busted my knee to say the least.  Dislocated the knee, tore the ACL, MCL, patellar tendon, medial and lateral meniscus, as well as 2 muscles in the hip, and 2 discs in the back.  I went out with a bang, literally.  2 surgeries later, and some great support, I am slowly recovering and rehabbing my knee back to walking condition.  And its funny- for some reason, I am totally ok with it all, the fact that gymnastics is over.  I guess its just a start to my new life...

Speaking of start to a new life...Josh Kratz.  Yep, he's the one I am going to marry.  Scary thought,  I know, I am growing up.  I am entering my last year of college and taking paramedic, some post-bacc courses, and then PA school.  Josh and I are expected to get engaged soon, and then in about a year and a half or two get married.  Isn't it great?  Yea, I can't believe it myself.  I am excited, but still a little scared, just cause its a totally new phase of my life.  It's going to be awesome!  I love Josh so much, and I love his family as well.  I know its right, he's the right one for me, unquestionably and undoubtedly. 

I am off to Sunset Beach with Josh and his family mid-august, then its back to start school.  Paramedic, full course load, and working PT for Trappe and hanging out at Skippack as well.  Sure, I will probably  stick with some SERV shifts as well- depending on how things are run this year and how busy I get.

My dad knows its going to be tough for him, his little girl is growing up and moving away. He's lost his wife a year ago, kelli has been at school and out of the house, Jason is done with his masters about with a semestester left, and now a girlfriend(?).  A lot in life has changed, and the family I once knew is no longer- its just all very different- but not necessarily a bad different. Josh is helping me through it, he knows my family has changed a lot and has been a great big help to me- an angel in my time of need- I just wish I could talk to my mom in person about it, and I wish she could be right there for my wedding- I know she will, its just not the same tho.  Kelli of course will be the maid of honor and Molly will be a bridesmaid too as well as Josh's sister Jenna and a few others.  Josh's best man, Andrew, he's cool too.  I just can't wait, but I don't want to push time too fast, and wish things to hurry- Just take it nice and slow- no regrets. Mom, I love you, and thanks for giving me some of the happiest times of my life now with Josh to love and support me.  He came at the time I needed him most in my life and proved that by taking care of me when I blew my knee out for a start- its truly amazing how we met, and the bond that brought us together. Thank you Mom, I love you!

Just another one of God's tests? 

Well things just seem to get tougher, even though i need to look on the bright side of things. I think God just is testing me right now, and well it's working.  Dr. Doghramji emailed me after doing some more tests saying that my iron stores in my blood is at 7, supposed be at least 50, and that i needed to start taking iron right away.  This he said is messing up my heart up a little more...fanfreakintastic!  So, yea...more meds!  I can't this much longer, I really can't.  I just really want to be a college kid and gymnast right now.  I hate having the get my BP and HR checked before, during, and after every single event during practice, and having to constantly write my HR's down during the day.  This is so ridiculous. I understand why they make me do it, but seriously...enough is enough.  I really have been thinking about ending it all and just not doing gymnastics anymore. At least the trainers would be off my back and I wouldnt be so tired and fighting through practice everyday with Jeff telling me I am not working hard enough when I am so tired out and pushing so hard I could pass out.  I just dont get it, and if its another one of God's tests for me- well...I've had my fair share and made it through with all my illnesses, moving from home, gymnastics, and saying goodbye to my mom.

On the other hand, school is pretty good. I really like my schedule, its amazing!  M,F i only have an 8-9am, and T,R I have 8-11.  I really like it.  My 3 classes arent too bad at all, and tomorrow (mondays in feb) i start my internship with trappe ambulance actually on the schedule and getting a stipend for my time there.  I am a little nervous, but just have confidence, I know I can do this and be great at it...we all gotta start somewhere, and tomorrow night is my night! 

I guess you can say I am a little homesick right now too.  I really want to go visit home and I really miss my mom. you know how it is when you're sick, all you really want is your mom- shes the only one that can make it all better. So mom- I miss you and I love you and I am thinking about you!

At the home meet- I competed all-around. I did ok. Not my best, but i made it through the meet.  I get very tired and very sore...and now I suppose I know why.  At temple, I did very very well personally.  Again, I made my yurchenko solid and I made all my tumbling on floor with a great routine and my beam was ok too...i fell on my punch front, but its ok- i just need more practice on it.  I just have to keep pushing, the team needs me and I need the team right now.  GO UC BEARS!  We've all had a tough time with Jeff lately, but I think this trip to Florida hes on will do him a world of good.  Hes been awfully manic/depressive/bipolar lately. 

Phlly Eagles just lost the superbowl to the New England Patriots.  Darn! LOL It was a good game tho.  21-24.  it was good hanging out with my teammates too some.  Well, caits not back yet and all my work is done. I'm on call for SERV, but I am also pretty tired out...BEDTIME!

Meet at MIT was a blast.  I spent the night with Darren at Trappe ambulance on Thursday night, he beeped me in cause he was here and I could drive.  I actually was able to get a lights and sirens emergency call in.  I was happy. Then Friday morning at 7:30am after getting off at trappe at 6am, it was time to board the bus for boston.  I slept on the bus until noon, it was great. 

Later that night after the bus ride- 7hrs by the way- we got to the hotel, unpacked and we toured boston.  We walked around to some of the stores, even a porn shop, took pics around boston, and then went to dinner at Burtucchi's and then Jeff took us for ice cream for Grimmy's birthday.

The meet was great.  We had tons of calls- we actually counted 10 falls to our team score on vault and beam and stuff like that.  Floor went great, and bars went very well too.  I made my routines, and debuted my new yurchenko, over rotating it even.  I got a 9.55 on floor, 8.85 on bars, 8.75 on vault. The judge was nice tho, she came up to me after my vault and said i have a gorgeous yurchenko. 

Trip back was pretty much uneventful.  We left the meet at like 4pm and made it back to school at 11pm.  The seniors did the "secret box", but somehow i was the only one to escape it...LOL, how's that happen?

Classes started today. I had one class from 8-9 and then from 9-3 at Trappe, practice 330-545 and then back to trappe 6pm-6am.  Today i had ESS- Well/Fit programming.  Tomorrow I have Spanish and Ex Phys.  So those are my 3 classes, then I am getting the credit from Trappe Ambulance Internship for a total of 16 credits!  Awesome.

OK, time to go, ttyl

Making this one quick and easy...its almost dinner time.

GO bears, we open at MIT Saturday at 2, leaving tomorrow morning!  I love going to MIT, its always so fun. I get to see my Uncle Bob (my mom's brother).

I got my new digital camera in the mail today, just in time for the season!  My old camera broke, and after 2.5years and still under warranty- They sent me another!

My heart has been a little bit better, at least I think. My heart rate is down some, not as high as it has been the past year (just under 100 now ).  I decided not to take the toprol yesterday morning, since it was giving me so much trouble- i couldnt funtion and hindered my daily living constantly sleeping.  so i decided to take it last night instead of morning.  Well, I felt better today, still nauseaus and tired out, but I think maybe that will go away after a while?  I didnt feel as bad tho, so I will try it tonight again as well. 

I went driving with Darren yesterday.  I took 324-3 out for almost 3 hours getting to know our territory and grid lines.  Wow, I really need a lot of work in memorizing the main roads and map around here.  I did very well on driving and radio commands...that I am not worried about- I am just worried about getting lost!  Dan wrote down a few addresses and I had to "go responding" to that location and find it on my own with the map.  Had some difficulties but I did ok.  I will be back as much as possible when Dan, John, or Darren are in to learn more and be ready for February schedule. 

Go Bears, Go UC Gymnastics!