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| Mi heroe... Mi heroe es Harold. Harold es atrevido, sabio, y servicial.  | | |
| I am so used to being distant that I don't even notice it. I go about my day talkin and happy, but never connecting. I am sorry if you felt as though there was something. But in reality, to me there are only two groups. Those I can't stand and those that I can. No one is higher or lower than anyone else. I'm sorry. I really am, but to me there is nothing. I don't even really acknowledge this.
Until, there are times like now. Where I just reflect. On the past. On the present. On the future. In those times, I realize that it is all hollow. I am no more than a pawn. I am of no real significance to anyone. But how could I when I don't even trust people enough to let them know what I am really feeling.
How would anyone feel when they found out that why I separate is because I fear them just as much as a stranger. Possibly even more because at least with a stranger I probably won't have to see them again. My life is driven by fear.
Fear to be close to anyone. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection. A fear that consumes every action and thought. It isn't as though, I have yet to be proven wrong.
Yet, despite all this fear of being close, it is the one thing I want the most in the world. So I try to please everyone, make them happy. Thinking that hopefully, they will appreciate it and like me. Hoping that one day I won't feel so alone. I do anything I possibly even if that makes things for me more complicated.
I dread the idea of leaving high school because I will be starting new and alone. And I know that while everyone else will go off and make friends and enjoy themselves. I will be in unfamiliar territory incapable of doing the smallest thing of speaking to someone else. I know I will shy away in a corner. I always do, even when I am trying to put myself out there. And it is all because I am too scared. Who is going to be there when I crack. No one.
I fear that I am going to make my own life miserable because I can't do anything. Not without help at least. I don't want to feel alone in the world.
And now, weak old me is crying practically uncontrollably. And I am scared I have reached a point of no return. That despite any efforts I make, I am lost. Maybe some day, hopefully some one will save me from myself.
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| Dear Physics,Dear Physics,
Lately, I have noticed that you have been throwing
some confusing things in my direction. You are making forces go in
different directions and I can't always figure out the acceleration
needed to keep you in place.
It was fine until you started to
hang out with the Earth. Then gravity came into the picture. Now I have
to measure with gravity as well. I don't want that burden. You know
that Earth has all these annoying constants that I don't want to deal
with. Tell me, when will I ever weigh myself in the middle of an
elevator? Even if I did, I wouldn't know the acceleration. I will admit
though, I much prefer when you are on Earth's surface, than hovering in
air. Or worse when you go visit the moon.
Not to mention those
damn pulleys you keep trying to make me help out. When do I ever use
pulleys in real life. Almost Never. At least go on an incline plane. I
can deal with that.
I am dreading the day when I have to help
you find your needed acceleration on the incline plane accounting for
both gravity and friction. Yet, I know one day you will led me to that.
I miss the good old days of Statics and even friction. Acceleration
wasn't all the bad either. But this Earth and its gravity make my soul
cry.
Did you know I spent an hour last night trying to figure
you out. It is a good thing Grover changed the test to Tuesday. Now, I
could possibly get some help. Maybe a tutor. Or better yet, a friend
who would help charge free.
Now matter what, you may be hurting my soul, but I still enjoy you. Remember that.
Sincerely,
Ashley
P.S. If anyone would be kind enough to help or get me help would be appreciated. | | |
| LOLI got slapped with an ugly stick. What am I supposed to do now?
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| PhysicsI need help. Perfect excuse to talk to Tino. I don't know why I like
that kid. Actually, I do. I think I'm just going to not say anything to
him. Even though he already knows, I think he is cute. The liking part
is unknown. I want to hang out with him. I wonder if that will happen.
Anyway, massively depressed. I don't know why. I think its just my winter depression kicking in.
I want to go to the winter ball. Only losers go with dates.
I
also am excited about junior prom May 11. I can't say losers go with
dates because that's mean. I'm going to be a loser for this one. Well,
at the moment it looks that way. I'm good with that. As long as I'm not
the only one. Then I'll just feel left out. | | |
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