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| amassedat 10:08 this morning,
i realized how i've grown
how people, things, and circumstances have changed me
how i don't have to be afraid of hurting
because the fear of fear, is everyone's greatest fault
that everything is important in the balance of life
there is no such thing as one person having the perfect life
everyone has their faults with themselves
and its far too natural to be a prey to your weaknesses
try as you might, its impossible to stop bad things from happening completely
and youre not immune from evil, so things will hurt you.
all you can do is shield yourself as best you can, and pick up the pieces after the storm.
its normal to thing 'why me? if only..' but what good will that do you?
time goes only in 1 direction & changes for no one
which is a blessing and a curse in itself.
on the slightly melancholy and hypocritical side...
my final conclusion is that i have only 2 loves in my life.
galveston
my lexus
although they are both in ruins
they are not people
people have the capability to hurt and destroy
based on absolutely no justification
inanimate objects can't hurt me.
10:17 good luck mr bender | | |
| I would give anything to be finally appreciated.
i'm not saying one now,
but eventually i could use a crutch.
someone who shops at zumiez/fast forward
someone who skates or surfs or boards
someone who actually tries at school
someone who is outgoing and sociable for the days i can't be
someone who i can chill on my bed and watch movies with but turn around and go to a nice dinner
someone who will help me with my homework on the days that i can't handle it all
someone who thinks im beautiful even when i wear my brother's soccer shirts and same soffe shorts
someone who i can drive around with and sing to the radio with
someone who shares my hatred for corporate or the gov
someone who won't criticize my use of the word fuck or shit or badass
someone who doesn't hate my tattoo/piercing interest
someone who can drink with me
someone who can mingle with my friends and i dont have to watch out for awkward turtles
someone who understands how hard i am working for my education and appreciates my work | | |
| DormsDorms are made to save space. Dorms are made for 2 people a room. Dorms are tiny.
DORMS SHOULD NOT HOLD 3 PEOPLE.
My shit, Jenny's shit, Courtney's shit is ALL STUFFED INTO A LITTLE STUDY LOUNGE.
This is NOT COOL.
My magazines, DVDs, and bath items are under a chair. My shoes are in a rubbermaid container under a desk. The rubbermaid container's lid is on, and that serves as a shelf for my books. My MREs and water and laundry items are under my bed. My laundry hamper is actually a bag hung behind my bed in the corner next to the lamp. Our food is shoved into 2 drawers. the other 4 (since there are 2 stacked on top with 3 drawers each) 3 hold my clothes (which as is, doesn't fit.) and the top one is for Misc. which includes all my electronics, my make up, calculators, school supplies, sunglasses, bug spray, medicine, glasses things, hair ties, hairbands, umbrellas, jewlery, post its, lighters, memory cards, safety goggles, etc. Everything random, fits in there. my alarm clock and speakers are on my bed cause the cord doesnt reach to the nightstand aka top of the set of drawers. I have another smaller rubbermaid container in the closet that holds my blankets, duffel bag, molded set of pants, and extra towels. On top of that, is the notes and spirals from Linda. The white fridge is a table for our dishes, bananas, vitamins, monsters, etc. The black fridge is the holder for our cereal.
Needless to say, I have no space and i can't find anything. It takes 2x as long to get ready cause i don't know where my stuff is. I can't live like this forever. I mind as well throw all my shit into a box and rummage through it.
This is so lame.
PLUS...
ENGR 111 story:
So tuesday 8-10:30 im supposed to have ENGR 111 lecture. so i get up at 7:24 and get ready in the dark and ride my bike to the CSC to print out my homework that im not sure is due, but to be on the safe side, i get it done and print it out. So i'm biking to ZACH 333A. I get tot he Zachary Building. Park my bike on a set of stairs and walk in. There is a large map so i find 333A and i run 3 flights of stairs up. Then i can't find 333 much less A. I walk around 6 times before i find a fire exit map and find 333A on the map. So i walk and walk and walk and finally find 333A. theres nobody there. its only 8:04. So i walk the 3 flights back down and go back to the CSC and look up my schedule. Sure enough, the changed it up on me since last friday and i'm in CVLB 315. Okay cool... So i ride my bike to pretty much the same area i was at earlier and look for CVLB. Its not the civil building. Its the CI/TT something something building. So i go in, and up in the elevator this time. i get to 3rd floor. (not before accidently getting off at 2 and then realizing im a dumbass.) So i walk 2 circles around the whole floor (conviniently its only a circle. no other turns.) and realize it only goes up to 310. So back down i go.. And i call my mommy. She tells me to keep going so i do. I find another CONVINIENTLY LABELED CVLB BUILDING RIGHT NEXT TO IT.. and i go in. and go up to floor 3 again. i walk in and pass someone. I walk up and see 315 and im thinking oh finally! but!... its a computer lab. one that stretches the span of 4 classrooms and each door i peak in and see nothing but computers. that kid i passed by earlier turns to me and asks if im from galveston and if im looking for the engr111 class. i answer yes and pretty soon we are both lost together. we asked the janitor lady. she points to 315. but its not our class. there is a teacher in there, its not our teacher. there are students, they are not our classmates. So basically we ended up at square one with no class, no teacher, no education.
All this before 9:00am.
What a bad start to a day. | | |
| a sadness i never knewi've never been so sad, depressed, down, distraught, or just down right broken, as when i saw my car covered in mold.
rip lexus es300 :: 9.13.08 | | |
| Meal Plansi OWNED you A&M College Station Meal Plan!
so after going to an 8am class and falling asleep back in my dorm for about 3 hours i figured i should take advantage of the 40+ places to eat on campus. THEREFORE, i definitely made the most of it. They all close around 3:30 (some earlier) so i went from south campus to central campus to west campus and got a spicy tuna roll, which wich, and starbucks ;] now it closes soon so im going to go dig into all my food MUAHAHAHA im covered for dinner
to bad that loans website ISNT WORKING so i cant get in :(
GALVESTON tomorrow! I CANT WAIT TO SEE BRANDI but at the same time its going to be fully heartbreaking to see my molding car & check on the status of galveston's revival. oh right, and get my stuff. boo.. its sad :(
back to my cave i go!
ps. not like anyone really checks this, but incase you need to contact me, call me yes, but leave a msg or a text. cause otherwise i won't know that you called. the cave wards off cellular signal. | | |
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