mruvula
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Country: United States
Gender: Male


Interests: cracking jokes with my roommates while watching stupid movies or old cartoons in the living room, watching CNN Headline News when Sophia is on, singing along to a song on the radio in the car and then spotting a girl in an adjacent car and then start singing to her
Expertise: diversions, minimization of bs, shamelessly plugging my organization, meeting people so I can get stuff for free
Occupation: Other
Industry: Entertainment


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Member Since: 6/26/2002

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

I've decided that from now on, every time I see an Asian word as a tattoo on a non-Asian person, I will begin laughing hysterically and making up a false definition for the tattooed word. And even if the person says 'But the tattoo parlor said it means strength and honor' I will continue laughing and say 'Well, sorry, but in Chinese it means that you like to eat horse feces' even though it could mean what they actually think it means.

Oh man, this is gonna be really fun from now on.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Now that the Democratic primaries are winding down, it appears inevitable that Obama will finally defeat Hillary and win the nomination to be the presidential candidate. Hillary, though more determined than ever to persevere, has been asked to give some thought about bowing out of the race, form a political ticket, and be Obama’s vice president for the upcoming election. The Democrats strongly feel that by combining forces and having a united Democratic front that they can defeat the Republicans, who are sticking with their conventional weapon of an old white guy in John McCain.

 

Most of the people I know are voting for Obama. He’s a really popular person to vote for among the younger generations and I strongly feel that people my age are going to vote for him only because he’s the hip and trendy vote. Just recently, he had an immense crowd show up to see him in Portland. Obama is trying to introduce change to the role of president, which has historically been occupied by old white guys, hence the Republicans’ decision to choose McCain (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!). The possibility of making Hillary his vice president wouldn’t just be for the novelty effect. Having a woman run as vice presidential candidate has been done before, with Geraldine Ferraro.

 

 Between Obama and Hillary, I never decided who I wanted to be the candidate. I did not vote in the primary, partly because I felt that my vote did not matter, and also because I believe that candidates should tell us in advance who their vice presidents will be. They shouldn’t tell us in the spring! Even McCain, having secured the nomination sometime last millennium, still hasn’t chosen a VP.

 

At first, I wanted to vote for Hillary, just to see Bill in the White House again. Hillary was using that popular angle to the fullest, something which I would do as well if I were in her position. Obama really shouldn’t be worried about Hillary anymore, as he’s about 50 delegates away from officially clinching the nomination. He should be looking forward to November. And one of his first steps should be to choose a Vice President that will help him reach out to a broader voting base.

 

Let’s face it, even in the year 2008, there are still millions of people who are quite hesitant to vote for a black man to be one of the most powerful people in the world. It doesn’t matter how intelligent and legitimate Obama is. Some people think the country will go to hell if he ever steps into office. Thankfully, some recognize that the current president has made things so bad, that they believe that Obama can’t make things any worse. But there are still people who will vote for McCain just because they don’t want to vote for Obama.

 

This is when I thought of the absolute perfect person to be Obama’s Vice President. He needs someone who can turn the racially biased to his side. He needs to capitalize on such things as popularity crazes, just like what Hillary did with Bill. He needs to continue on the trend of change, like with how Ferraro was chosen as a VP candidate.

 

That’s why, if I were in Obama’s corner, I would choose only one person to be his Vice President.

 

It would be none other than Amber Lee Ettinger, also known as…

 

obama-girl`

OBAMA GIRL

 

That’s right, folks. Obama would no longer have to pursue campaign funds, because he would have the presidency wrapped up nicely in a pretty red bow. It would be all over. Voter turnout would be an all-time high! Every single straight American male, now matter how previously biased against Obama, would vote for him in November. She would satisfy the demands of women for a female in higher political offices (although some would be insanely jealous, just like how they are with Angelina Jolie. That's the real reason why they hated her in the whole Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston thing.) I know that there's a minimum age of 35, so we need to change the constitution, but this is the year of change! Yes, we can!

 

obamagirl3

This beats Hillary's pant suits any day of the week.

In a previous entry I showed how an attractive woman could completely dominate the engineering industry. Just think about that strategy on a global scale! One of the roles of Vice President is to travel to other countries and visit other heads of state. How many countries despise us currently? You think any of them would keep their borders sealed for Air Force Two with Obama Girl on board? She would continuously be on a world tour, turning age old enemies into fervent allies. Hell, many of them would probably be lining up to defect.We'd have a one up against all other countries in any political negotiations.

 

On the homefront, interest in politics and current events would never be higher. Americans would never again be known for being politically lazy and indifferent. Morale would always be high. We would be drowning in personal pride for having such a beautiful and charismatic person as one of our leaders.

 

My co worker visited a factory in Puerto Rico, and was amazed to see employee morale so high. The men said that they didn't particularly like their jobs, but they also said they'd never leave. Why? Because there were swarms of beautiful women working in the factory as well. Every guy in the building had a smile on his face. This is the effect that Obama Girl would have on the country. Obama's approval rating would be setting record highs every time.

 

So do it, Barack! John McCain would stand no chance against you in November if you have Obama Girl as your running mate. You can't possibly lose.

 

Obama - Ettinger '08!

 

Yes we can!

 

obamagirl2

You think you can beat this political pairing, Republican party? I don't think so


Friday, May 16, 2008

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I HATE

 

I’ve been watching Lost pretty regularly this year. It’s an interesting show, but I’m not part of its fan club like I am with BSG. This season, they introduced some new characters, one of whom is this scientist named Daniel Faraday. From the moment he came on the show, I disliked him. There was something about him that just didn’t sit well with me. I hated the way he spoke, the way he moved around, his overall posture… I hated everything about him. But for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t stand him. Maybe he was just one of those people you can never get along with. After all, you can’t be friends with everyone.

 

Daniel_faraday

 

 

 

He looks so familiar, doesn’t he? Where do I know this guy from?

 

I’m usually very good at recognizing what previous shows or movies an actor has been in. It’s a great skill to have when playing board games, but that’s about it. But with Faraday, I couldn’t exactly place where I had seen him before. That’s when I decided to do a search on IMDB. Lo and behold, I finally found the source of my rage against this man.

 

What does item 20 on his filmography list say???

 

Saving Private Ryan (1998) – Cpl. Timothy P. Upham

 

He’s Upham!!!

 

SPRUpham

 

It suddenly became all so clear to me. No wonder I hate this Faraday guy so much! He’s also Upham, the coward in Saving Private Ryan. He’s the guy you yell at so much during the movie.

I hate you Upham! I hate you for convincing Captain Miller to let the German at the machine guns go! I hate you for not helping Mellish and letting him get stabbed in the chest ever so slowly! I hate you for letting Captain Miller die! I don’t care if you help rescue everyone from that island. I will never forgive you! I hate you! I hate you!

 

I’m so angry right now. Saving Private Ryan was on television last weekend, and during every scene that Upham was in, I yelled out ‘Damn you, Faraday!’

 

I hate you, Upham!!! I hate you, Faraday!!! 

 

 

 


Friday, February 29, 2008

Word of the Day: Hypocrisy

Definition: The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess: falseness

Example:

A Jewish school hopes for a Saturday off for religious reasons, and is told no by the Colorado High School Athletic Association -- which forbids games on Sundays for religious reasons.

Used in a sentence:

Mruvula is appalled at the utter hypocrisy of the CHSAA, which is basically stating that a religion that recognizes Sundays as a holy day of rest (Christianity and Catholicism) are better and more important than a religion that recognizes Saturday as a holy day of rest (Judaism).

If this were actually taking place in the tri state area, I would go protest. That's right, a Chinese guy would stand in the crowd with Jewish people. (What is the world coming to?) I'm no fan of any organized religion, but I don't like it when one group is being picked on and oppressed by another.  


Monday, February 11, 2008

My co worker just came by to do the rounds for the Mega Millions Lottery. Any time the jackpot goes over $100 million, we each put in $5 into the pool. I take a copy of all our tickets and watch the drawing at 11pm on Tuesdays and Fridays, since all my co workers are fast asleep by then. Then I count how much we’ve ‘won’ and post it up in the office the next workday. We won $4 last time. Yeah, baby!

This reminded me of a conversation I had once with BGWNC about the lottery. He strongly believed that the lottery is basically a tax on the lower and middle class. Think about it. The motto for the New York lottery is ‘All you need is a dollar and a dream.’ And how many times have you seen little news stories about how people flock to the local corner deli to buy hundreds of lottery tickets when the Power Ball jackpot jumps to a quarter billion?

With me and my co workers, we’ve each thrown in $15 so far to the government. (If you want to get a bit technical, the place where you buy the ticket gets 5%) And we usually do the lottery pool a couple times a year. Let’s say that comes up to $50 a person. How much do you actually win back? My company has never gotten more than 20% back, but we keep buying them tickets. Why? Because we foolishly believe in hope. And the government is smart enough to prey upon on hope, completely banking on our stupidity.

I’ll give you a simple example. One of my co workers routinely buys tickets for the Pick 4. He has a boat and its number is 4902. So every week, he buys 10 tickets at a dollar a piece. There are two ways you can win. The first is if you get the number right on the money; that’s called a straight pick. The other is if you get all four numbers correctly, but not in the right order. That’s called a box pick.

Time for some math.

For the pick 4, there are 10,000 possibilities: 0000-9999. (Don’t count them out. Just add 1 to each number and you’ll get 1-10,000) So you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of winning the straight pick. That’s a ratio of 10,000:1

With the box pick, you have a little better chance. Since the order of the numbers doesn’t matter, let’s start with getting one of your numbers right first. We’ll use my co worker’s boat number as an example. His numbers are 4-9-02. That’s 4 numbers. The possibilities for the first number are 0-9, ten numbers.

So for #1, you have 4 in 10 chance. Let’s say the first number is 0.

Now for #2, you need to get either the 2, 4, or 9. That’s a 3 in 10 chance. Let’s say the second number is 2.

For #3, you need to get the 4 or 9. That’s 2 in 10 chance. Let’s say the third number is 4.

For #4, you need to get that 9. That’s a 1 in 10 chance.

Now that we have all the probabilities, we multiply them together.

0.4 x 0.3 x 0.2 x 0.1 = 0.0024. This translates into you having 24 chances out of 10,000 of hitting the box pick. That’s a ratio of about 416:1

So you put your chances of winning the straight and box picks together, and you have a 25 in 10,000 chance of winning on any given drawing. That comes out to .25% chance or one quarter of one percent.

You can find online a list of recent drawings along with the payouts for the straight and box picks.

I averaged out the last 40 payouts for each.

Box came out to be $209.25 with a high of $583.50

Straight came out to be $2813.95 with a high of $3899.50

Compare those to the ratios from before.

Box ratio is 416:1. Payout roughly averages $209 for every ticket you buy.

Straight ratio is 10,000:1. Payout roughly averages $2814 for every ticket you buy.

The government has a massive edge on you every time you buy a ticket. Casinos call this the house edge. I’ll take roulette as another example, because everybody likes that wheel. If you walk by and drop some money down on say number 19 and you hit, the payout is 35 to 1. So if you throw down $10, you get $350. Do you know how many numbers are on the roulette wheel? 38. (1-36 and 0 and 00.) So the odds of the marble landing on 19 are 38 to 1.

Your winning ratio is 38:1. Payout is $35 for every dollar you put in.

That’s how the casinos make money. They have that slight edge in math. Sure, you’ll hear stories from your drunken friend of how they walked by, threw down $100 on their lucky number and it hit, but that’s just one story from one table in a casino filled with about fifty tables with a dozen people at each table.

The government makes so much money off the lottery. My friend was right. It is a hidden tax on the people. But we keep hoping. When my co worker came around asking for my $5, I gladly pulled out my wallet and forked over the money. Why? Because I’m an idiot, but that $5 allows me to dream until the drawing tomorrow night at 11pm. Then my dream comes crashing down. But at least Liz Cho is on immediately afterwards.



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