SYMPTOM FOUR Codependency Step One File From Breaking Free by Pia Mellody SYMPTOM FOUR Acknowledging and taking responsibility for adult wants and needs Codependents may be excessively dependent on others for meeting their needs; or excessively independent of others; or they may not be aware of their wants and needs. Assess your level of dependency for each category of need. Write about your difficulty meeting your needs. Levels: Too dependent Antidependent Needless and Wantless Confuse Needs and Wants | Dependency Needs: Food Clothing Shelter Physical Nurturing Emotional Nurturing Medical/Dental Attention Sexual Information & Guidance Financial Information & Guidance |
Food: I didn’t get this need met properly as a child, so my recovery around food is taking responsibility for meeting this need in a healthy way as an adult. Sometimes I confuse needs and wants and indulge in sweets, carbs or overeating. Clothing: This is a weak spot for me. I buy a lot of clothes, even if I pay small amounts. I make up for childhood shame about not having good clothes. I still wish I could spend big amounts on clothes (and shoes). Shelter: I feel like I have a good deal on my little house, with rent at $425. But I am also ashamed of it. I feel like at 42, I should have the Physical Nurturing: I am antidependent or needless and wantless. I pretend to not have physical nurturing needs. I guess this even includes self care if you consider avoiding exercise. Emotional Nurturing: I do get some emotional nurturing from meetings and friends. I bounce between being too dependent and antidependent. Medical/Dental Attention: I take care of myself in these areas. Sexual Information & Guidance: I was grossly neglected and overexposed in this area. It is a significant source of abuse. I have a great need for healing and guidance now in this area. Financial Information & Guidance: Same, neglect and need for healthy guidance now. I am definitely improving in responsibility in this area.
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