mugir7541's Xanga

Monday, May 15, 2006

Mon, 15 May 2006 03:42:24 GMT

I'm a jelous and insecure person and I hide it well most of the time. But jelousy and insecurity is really self destructive because it puts doubts in your mind about your own worth. It puts doubts in your mind about friends. Some of which are well founded but at the same time it makes you doubt when others say good thing to you if it is the truth or it makes you think that everyone likes everyone else more then you. Which it could be. I don't know. Life it is unexplanable.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Tue, 09 May 2006 13:42:30 GMT

Life is sucking the big one right now

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Thu, 04 May 2006 03:46:24 GMT

Awesome night!!! Twenty four hour quiet hours started tonight but guess what we did instead of studying. Febreeze warfare!! It was freaking awesome. Running though the halls trying to spray each other. Then we took the battle outside! It was SOOOOO Much FUUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay off to take a shower because I smell really bad.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Tue, 02 May 2006 20:43:49 GMT

Sometimes I frustrate myself

Monday, May 01, 2006

Mon, 01 May 2006 04:01:57 GMT

I have such mixed feeling about coming home for the summer. I'm sure we all do we've had interesting, fun, exciting, life changing years and now were expected to go back to our old lives. But were all different and I guess that is what makes it so difficult and so worthwhile at the same time. I know this year, for me has been one of the most life changing. I've learned so much about myself and have become so much more of the person I am and am supposed to be. I'm not ready for it to end. I want to be a college freshman forever. I'm not ready to move on. Because once I finish finals and leave my dorm behind, my home for a year it means its really over. Everything I was so afraid and nervous for was unbellievably wonderful. I can't help thinking that while I'm a freshman I'm still safe. I'm still protected from the real world, after all I'm only a college freshman, but thinking of being a sophmore I feel vulnerable. I know its stupid... but when I'm a sophmore it means next year I'm a junior....and then a senior.... and then I'm alone on my own in the real, scary world....my life. I'm not ready I'm still figuring out myself and what I want with life. I'm still struggling with what will make me happy and what can really be. My whole life I've been a student and I've known what has been expected from me. There were requirements rules. If I failed or made a mistake it wasn't the end of the world... but now...very soon it will be my life I"m fucking up and I'm not ready for that responsibility. I'm not ready...I don't know if I'm on the right path... any way this is a bunch of rambling and probably doesn't make much sense but it was just my thought pattern I love you all. All my friends who I'll get to see and spend time with this summer, who made highschool not suck and All of my friends who have been my family at school and made it so wonderful I'm gonna miss you more this summer then you know. I don't know what I would do without you all. I've truly been blessed with you all in my life

Friday, April 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 03:15:46 GMT

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think
I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you

I'm weak
It's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

You don't know
What you do
Every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak
It's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try, anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try, anything to be with you
All my life I've waited

This is true

Monday, March 06, 2006

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 02:19:27 GMT

I had an awesome weekend that now is being stopped by the evil of homework. Kelli came to visit me at MU at it was totally awesome. I now have some very incriminatating video of her lol It was a blast!!!! I'll write more later but right now study is calling me and unfortuanlly I have to listen

Friday, February 24, 2006

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 15:10:06 GMT

I love my friends Thank you all for caring about me. I'm feeling much happier since my last entry partially due to my awesome friends! I don't really know what was the matter I was just in a depressive mood. I guess we all have them. I just got my own compy of Rent in today though I've already watched it twice since Tuesday! I love it so much I have to listen to the soundtrack or I'm in withdrawl! lol I'm addicted to Rent. Oh and I'm so excited I might be able to go see Rent on Broadway for twenty dollars. Yeah I'm getting up uber early and standing in line!! I absolutely am in love with Aida as well. I want to see it on Broadway but its not on anymore and I'm really upset about that. The Aida soundtrack is amazing. The characters, and lyrics are incredible and the actors voices send chills down your body. Adam Pascal is on the soundtrack who I absolutely love!! I just found out that Idina Menzel was in Aida though not the original cast. I really really want to see Aida But I don't know if I'll ever be able to bc its off Broadway. I wish I would have heard the music sooner. Okay I'm just rambling about random stuff and I probably don't make andy sense at all. I love you all

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 03:41:05 GMT

Sometimes I see all the good in the world and I just have to smile. Today is not one of those days. Sometimes I hate who I am and I wish I could just disappear and become someone else and that day is today.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 19:40:21 GMT

So I've been hanging out way to much!! lol I love it I have no time to juset relax!! If I'm not studying or doing homework I'm volunteering or going to class or hanging out with friends. Its crazy even though it makes life more interesting and fun. So I so Brokeback Mountain last Friday with Tricia and Andrew it was good but sad. Then on Saturday I helped out at the Special Olympics bowling with Tricia and Amanda and some other circle K people and we got lost and ended up in THE BUCK wherever that is lol. After we found our way back to school we went to the mall and then played Loaded Questions. Then Sunday my mom and little sister came down and then some friends and me had a superbowl thingy. Then this week the normal load and business but I have a twenty four hour dance marathon to look forward to. I think it will be a lot of fun but I'll be exausted afterwards. Staying awake for twenty four hours wouldn't be to bad but standing fo all twenty four of them.... I don't know. But at least the first half should be fun Alyssa, Amanda, Tricia and me are going to be wearing feather boas and princewss crowns! lol The dance is for the Children's Miracle Network. Ok well I have to study for accounting I have a test tonight.