holy shit..i think xanga is feeling a little umm left out compared to myspace so now it has all this cool shit on it...or maybe it just looks cool...idk...but anyways!

I didn't really have anything to say, I just thought I would show this site a little bit of attention...sooo what's new with me? Ummmm well nothing really...just some gay shit with these two people...it could be resolved soooo easily buuuut no...we are fucking taking the hard way out...and I think that when this shit is over with I'm gonna be sick of both of them...that's how gay this shit really is...but oh well...

So uh ya...school is pretty cool right now...nothing really new there...i've been in 5 hall sweeps so far so I might wanna take a chill pill with those...but I'm always peer pressured into them...I can't help but succumb to it...

Anways XANGA IS FOR FAGS even though I'm using it right now...but like the dictionary for this site doesn't even include fuck OR shit! wtf is up with that!!!??? it tells me that what I meant to say was facking and chit...haha riiiiighhht...I think that if I had meant to write those things I would have the first time...

K, well that's about it for me so see you assholes around!

Currently Listening The Very Best of Frank Sinatra By Frank Sinatra Fly me to the moon see related

RAMBLE!

I thought I would come on here and see if I had anything to talk about. So let's think for a moment....School is coming up, just so those of you who have been living under a rock know. It's very surreal because it feels like it was just June. Oh well, July is the fast month.

I'm reading the book 1984. It's SO incredible. I swear I hope I'm able to write like that some day. The whole story line makes you repeat over and over in your head, "REBEL!!" And you know the main character won't. Then I wonder what I would do in a situation that called for rebellion but if I did do something I would be killed. The way I figure it, if I didn't rebel I would probably live a long, meaningless life doing some crappy ass job, time would mean nothing, but if I rebelled I would possibly make a difference, something a long life of being beaten into submission wouldn't let me do. So I think that if I were in a situation like this I would most likely rebel. It makes the most sense because in this story time is meaningless and all you can do with it is waste it.

Have you ever wondered if your wire is being tapped? I wonder why my home would be a target...maybe the government is noticing that I look  a lot of things up concerning government conspiracies. I don't know, I think I'm just a little too paranoid or maybe everyone else just isn't paranoid enough.

Anyway, I find it funny when I get these chain letters, or whatever they are, in my e-mail. 1.) Like I would pass something that stupid on and 2.) They tell me that if I send this letter to 20 other people then the boy of my dreams will sweep me off my feet...well I hate to burst my bubble( I really wish my love life didn't rely in the fate of a chain letter because now I won't have one) I don't have 20 friends in my e-mail because I don't e-mail. Hmm, I guess I'm screwed.

It's strange how certain songs can put you in a really good mood. I was a little crabby earlier and I listened to Mmbop( don't laugh it's a good song!) and it made me all happy inside. I wish more things could do that, it certainly would make life a lot more enjoyable. Of course nothing is worth having if it comes easy.

OK, well just remember that Hanson rules!

See you all in school!

ok uh...I can't be deep every time I write in this thing..lol...and it almost feels like a waste putting my thoughts on here when I get no input...but no matter...I shall keep writing because I have nothing else better to do.

So hmm...what to talk about? well I can't really think of anything for now so when I do I will probably come back to this entry and delete it...

Ever look up into the stars and wonder about your pathetic life? I do all the time. Such things, like stars, are so big and looking at them almost makes one feel very insignificant. But it also makes me want to be more than what I am. I would like to, someday, be big like that. Important to someone or important for a cause, anything. And it's getting to be that big person that intimidates me. I just wonder how I am going to get there when I don't even know what I want to do with my life...ah well though. I feel that the answer will come to me in due time. Hopefully it will. I don't want to be handed a good life and career and a golden platter. I just want the idea of what I want to do to hit me like a ton of bricks one day. I just want to know that it's one certain thing that I know I will be happy doing. I don't think that is too much to ask for. Here I am spilling my heart out and no one will read this. Well that's fine with me because I'm contemplating even submitting this paragraph. It is very personal and I don't want to give people leverage. But what does it matter. Someone can only have leverage if you allow it.

Currently Listening America Town By Five for Fighting see related

And he left with blood in his heart

all right so someone told me to keep xanga...and low and behold I get no comments...how ironic. Anyway I just got done watching Constantine, it was an ok movie. It got me thinking though...oh no, run away! ha ha yea I know, people would rather not read about it, but if I cared I wouldn't be writing this in the first place...would I?

So if you believe in evolution, as I do, then bear with me. Existance started out as dinosaurs(let's not get into the major details) so how could there be a heaven or hell? There was nothing to occupy such places because humans didn't exist. So am I to think that these places lay dormant till the dawn of man. That would be a long time to wait for souls, wouldn't it? So, not saying that I believe, but what if once man could comprehend thought he made his own demons and devils and gods. Who's to say that god isn't money or fancy clothes, maybe god is what one, as an individual, worships, whatever it may be. And in the end it depends where your mind goes on who was your god. Now I've thought about it. Who would my god be? Honestly, as much as I despise it all, I think my god would be the hope I have. But let's not get into that.

I think people who are so self indulged in themselves are the ones that will end up in the hell they are so afraid of. People, listen to what I have to say! If you honestly believe there is a heaven or hell and you are constantly trying to benefit yourself to fit in the category of good, well you have done the opposite. Those who are humble are rewarded, those who are meek are rewarded, those who believe in a purpose larger than their own outcome will be rewarded in the end, whether it be a painless death or a spot in the place we perceive is heaven, they are rewarded. I hear people say, "She didn't deserve this, she was a good person, never wanted harm to come upon anyone." Well that may be, but there is a reason these things happen. If you really do believe in your god then you should know that he did this because it was time. People are so blind, even to their own faith. I see people everyday who have the so called "blind faith", but their blind faith is different, they are those who believe blindly in a purpose that doesn't even matter. They(religious people) think that gay marriage is a problem or that abortion is a sin. Maybe they should stop and look at themselves and see how holy they are. What have they done that's constructive lately. I guarantee, nothing. The other kind of blind faith I'm talking about would be those who barely believe in the religion they claim to have. You can't come half way with this stuff, you are either a part of it, or not. There is no fooling god. Just read the first thing in the bible, Adam and Eve, they tried to hide from something that is all around them. You cannot hide from yourself.

I hope people who do read this, which is doubtful, understand where I come from when I start talking about the evils of religion. Maybe it's not the religion that's evil, it's the men that created it. You cannot put god in a structure.

Done, for now.

NOW FOR SOME QUOTES

I don't need intelligent drugs because I don't know what they are. BUT I will put anything in my mouth that is given to me, whether it's supposed to go there or not, because...I'm different.

Everything gets married, even animals and spiders, And just because they don't have cakes and suits and wedding parties and expensive rings, doesn't mean they've not legally...married.

~Space Ghost~

You can do a lot of cool things with giant underpants!

~Pee Wee Herman~

CLICK ON THIS LINK!!!...PLEASE!

<embed src="http://lads.myspace.com/videos/vplayer.swf?u=YUhSMGNEb3ZMMk52Ym5SbGJuUXViVzkyYVdWekxtTmtiaTV0ZVhOd1lXTmxMbU52YlM4d01EQTFPVFEwTHpVeUx6YzNMelU1TkRRMk56Y3lOUzVtYkhZPQ==&d=676" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="430" height="346"></embed><br>Get this video and more at <a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=594467725&n=2">MySpace.com</a>