i know the struggle,
i put myself through it
but i made it another day.
i'm just living,
this is what its all about.

-M.E.G.
<3

my friend erica wrote this...

Why'd you break your promises to me?
Don't you know you hurt me constantly?
I hope you're somewhere reading this
I hope you're thinking what you did was wrong
Let me make this crystal clear for you to see
It's too late for i'm sorry
Sorry was a word you liked to say
But sorry didn't erase the things you did yesterday
I want you to know that i didn't need you anyway
And this rope that we walk on is swaying
The ties that bind us will never, ever fray
But i want for you to know that you're unforgiven.
You were a fan of absolute simplicity
And quite an expert in responsibilty
But where were you when i broke my own heart?
And where were you when i quit my job?
What did she have that i did not?
Was i just someone you just forgot?
But don't forget that i didn't need you anyway
I couldn't listen to the things you were saying
And after all the time invested in you
Just know that you are unforgiven.

-erica garrison

funny how EVERYTHING reminds me of you.... </3

how come i end up where i started, how come i end up where i went wrong??

when it rains a message is sent with every drop

telling me forever is tomorrow and this madness will never stop

so say your prayers tonight; make them loud and clear

because with the morning sunrise comes a new kind of fear

everything is new but so hard to understand

and with every nameless face comes another strangers hand

so with a dazed look and a cold cut heart

my feet continue down the hall as my soul falls apart

the growing fear eats away at all the little peices

I go to scream but silence is all my mouth releases

forever seems to hurt more then it ever did in the past

but take things as they come because they go by fast

i wrote this poem the night before my first day of high school at clover high after moving to the south from the north.... i was scared to death and very lonely....

here's a letter to you:

I made you feel a way no one else ever has. things got rough and we both ran away. now you still want that feeling but you don't want me. but you can't have one without the other. so why do I have to suffer when really I have the power to take that feeling away, that feeling that you long for? true love... good luck finding it without me.

love, niki

summer is still awesome. i keep meeting great new people and having soem random but fun times. i still find myself wanting to go back to newberry. i love lake wylie, i love living in such a beautiful place but i still long for something else....

btw... the day has come! i feel nothing. i want nothing to do with him and i am not in love anymore. and IT'S GREAT!! but i also haven't seen him or spoken to him, things always get personal when you have to deal with them in person. i can't wait for the day when i get to tell him to his face that i am not in love with him and we are not going to be together.

i know i made a lot of mistakes in my life
but the worst one was
thinking that the person who hurt me the most
wouldn't hurt me again