i'm praying that you and me might end up together, its like wishing for rain as i'm standing in the desert. actually i dont really feel like blogging, cos i think i've got better things to do actually. like, for eg, watching anime. HAHAHA. sooo. on 22july, nich ang and i did smt small but fun. we broke a big mantou into 18 small pieces and wrote "HAPPY 18 BDAY YUNKUAN" for our friend! (: nich's retarded idea =P so he asks me, what do you want for your bday? hm. and i realised there isnt exactly anything i want, so i just said the first thing off my head, "chocolate!" haha. actually i think there's smt i want, and tt only cg can give it to me, but its kinda impossible. not tt its ex or anything la. but, oh well. (: and my 1st bday present came through at about 9.30pm. from the Leow family! norm's mom came over and passed me this cold, aluminium thingy. it was ROYCE chocolates!! ok, i think i'm like deprived or smt, but i never had royce chocolates before, AND ITS SUPPPEERRR GOOOODD. =D norm's mom is sooo nice to me! (: thank you auntie! (:
23july. ck called 1 min before 12am to wish me. and i couldnt wait to get off the phone with her, cos i was alr slping & she woke me up! i was very tired, i dunno why =P haha so i silent my hp and went to slleeeeeeepppp and only read & replied all my bday msges in the morning haha. BUT THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY WISHES! the sky was super gloomy & overcast, but surprisingly there was no jam at ACS(I) so i wasnt late for sch! (: audd left a big tupperware of double choco cookies on my seat in assembly (: yummm. nich gave me choco and a card. which i was instructed by audd&nich not to open till 5pm tt day! hm. suspicious! hahah but i was really quite excited to open the stupid card la. HAHAHA. (just kidding nich =P)
so! ck DRAGGED(literally) me to her locker after assembly when i'm supposed to be in class! gave me an empty box and a pretty helium balloon. and so, throughout the day, i had to keep looking for her during my breaks, for her to give me more stuff to put into the box. sch ended at 110pm! decided to cab to my place to drop all the presents before heading out to watch The Dark Knight. BUUUTTTTT. turns out..
after eating 'lunch', i went to the toilet(to do big business! hahaha). then i heard the front door open and close. and i heard some male voices, so i thought my dad was home. but apparantly not cos ck then shouted to me "aye, what are you doing! very slow lei!" and OBVIOUSLY no one would do tt in front of my parents, so i ruled out tt my dad's home. i figured maybe the voices was from the neighbour's. but still, its fishy cos it seem to be coming from somewhere in the house. after i was done, i stepped out of the toilet(with empty toilet roll in hand to throw into the kitchen bin) and the first thing i saw was ian, ck and kh standing in the living room with ian holding a bangawan solo cake with candles litted and everything. I WAS SOOOO STUNNED. cos while i was in the toilet, i was thinking maybe the male voices are jy and the guys, and tt they came over! but i ruled tt out too cos its a sch day and no one said anything sbout coming over, and they all msged me happy bday in the morning like usual. PLUS i remember jy saying how its near prelims and we need to study and we should celebrate all the bdays after A levels hahaha. so yes, i was so so soo soooooo surprised! but remembering the toilet roll in hand, i hurried to the kitchen. BAD MOVE. all i saw was yongzhi, who immediately went "oh tiffany! just nice! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!...", someone wearing jeans which i immediately know is wy, and someone in a white uni which cg just came into mind. cos the next thing i know, cake was being smashed into my face.. how nice. smashed as in, REALLYYY smashed. it felt like the 3 of them were using my face as a tissue paper to clean/wipe their cake/cream filled hands! eewwwwwwww. haha idiotic. i was caught so off-guard! and next was the candles. i think i'm really very observant, after they sang the birthday song, ck/ian hurried me to blow out the candles. AND I REALISED TT THE CANDLES WAS SPARKING. so i went, "why the candles got sparks one!!" and OBVIOUSLY everyone pretended like they didnt hear me saying tt. and yepp, i was right. the candles are those kind which can never be blown out! my cousin had those on her bday cake before, so i actually do know such candles existed. BUT MY BRILLIANT FRIENDS KEEP INSISTING I BLOW IT OUT, when its really not possible. plus they took a video of the whole process, me trying to blow out candles which just keeps relighting. quite embarrassing actually. and eventually, i managed to blow out all the 'special' candles!!! for like, a few secs. haha oh well. and tt's not all! tt day was like, 'shock tiffany day' or smt. they passed me a donut box and said tt its my present from everyone. i was quite happy and excited(yes, by donuts, how greedy can i get) to open the donut box cos i havent seen tt brand before and the guys were saying tt its mini donuts and all, so i was quite excited to see it. BUT! "oh my freak!!!!" hahhahahahaha, they got me an (8GB) iTouch! i cant believe i let ck hold tt stupid donut box from sch to my place and NOT see whats in it. ahhhhhh, iTouch! i was thinking to myself, "seriously??!!" haha its soooo unexpected! and i was really touched. thank you guys! (: and of cos, they video-ed the whole process of me screamming "oh my freak!"(the entire time) WHICH IS SOOOO EMBARRASSING, and i really felt quite bimbotic. BUT I AM NOT. and i'm actually quite irritated cos my freaking gp teacher says tt i'm a bimbo. wth, can i sue her for insult?! ok. anyhow. thank you so sooo much, everyone! cheryl, aaron, jy, wy, ian, cg, kh, yz, lanz, jtoh, audd, fenny, aileen! (i hope i didnt miss out anyone!) esp my bestie, my best boy-friend, my very wise friend and my very nice friend! (: and i loved esp how everyone who came felt relevant and special to me. like, no one was an extra or felt left out. it feels complete, like yes, they are all tts in my clique! (:
mom & dad bought a cake home too. it was super good! umai! :D:D:D oreo cake haha
ok, i shall give a little shout-out to all of my friends! but not like everyone will read it la. =/
ck: omg, without you, i really dunno how my life would be like. you're the one who knows me the best, always sharing the same sentiments as me, doing stupid things tgt, its like i totally dont mind embarrassing myself a million times in front of you! haha. and thanks for always being there for me. accompanying me when i feel lonely and all the times we'd just rattle on & on and bitch about all the things/feelings inside us. thank you for always making my birthdays so special! i really feel very treasured and loved by you! (: and i feel quite bad cos i dont always do things for you on ur bday cos its such a weird date =P hahaha. but this yr, your 18th, I SHALL PLAN SOMETHING GOOOOOD! just you wait. hehe. anw, thanks for the 18 presents you got me. esp the book/story! all your effort and time wasted on me! (: but not tt you'll be studying instead anw, hahahaha. =P I LOVE YOU TONS & TONS & TONS, GIRL! although you bully me like hell, but let's REMAINS BESTIES FOR YEARS & YEARS & YEARS TO COME! we must be close even when we're in uni! :D and our children can marry each other. HAHAHAHA. we'll be in-laws! how fun is that la haha. Bokura, no-ah, shieriru tsukinan des! i dont even know if tts a proper sentence, but wth, haha.
jy: hehe! tjy! i remember i used to call you 'jia yi bing ding!' in pri sch! i think it means like, person A person B person C person D. smt lydat. it was from the chinese textbook! haha anw you know what, you and i are living proof tt platonic friendship DO exist! its been what, 8 years of friendship! and though we're not as close now as we were before, but you'll always be my best friend! and our friendship is special! someone i'd feel comfortable with to talk to about anything and everything! and i think its super cool to have such a long and close guy friend! hehe. I LOVE YOU, JY! you'll never ever slam me down or say negative things, but always encourage me in whatever circumstances. AND you always take the initiative to catch up! (:(: haha. thank you jy for taking time off studying to celebrate my 18th bday with me! and you are to celebrate all my bdays with me till i'm....old & grey! haha
aaron: heh, you're the wise one! ever since sec 3/4, till now! and you shall remain tt status! =P haha. guo hao, i know you spent quite abit of time and effort(and money) on the surprise planning too. THANK YOU! even though i think you think i'm not very appreciative to you at times, but, I AM!! and you're a very very dear friend to me! who's always looking out for me, trys hard to make me understand the ways of this (cruel&hard) world and makes sure (if its in your ability) tt i wont feel disturbed about certain matters. you're the friend who's always doing the behind-the-scenes stuffs, sentimental heart-felt matters, to help me grow mentally and feel good about myself (: and i thank you and love you for that & for everything you've done for me for the past..3 yrs! (: and i know tt you're a smart boy! you CAN & WILL do very well for your A's, so dont lose hope! study hard and give your best! (:
wy: YOU ARE THE VERY NICE FRIEND! hehe, you let ck AND i bully you! for the movie thing and stuff. thank you wy! i know tt you're a very loyal & generous friend, money isnt anything compared to making your friends happy! (: heh, loyal. no wonder you like dogs so much! haha and although i think ur dog craze is a little worrying, but i think you'll make a really good master/trainer/friend to your dog! (: and anw i still remember your dream! maybe its still in my com somewhere haha thanks for CABBING DOWN after sch to celebrate my bday with me! (: it really makes me happy tt you came too! thank you for still making the effort to remain close to the guys even though you're now in a very diff sch & environment from us and cant really join in our conversations if its about school. HAVE A GREAT TRIP TO CHINA! (: oh, and remember not to eat dog meat there ok! HAHAHAHA. as if you will. =P
ok, i'm super tired and i'm just gonna write little for the rest cos i dont think they will read my blog anw.
ian: you know, i'm quite upset tt we dont look alike anymore! i remember your soccer junior actually believed tt i was your sister! how coool was that! (: haha. anw, thank you for taking time off to celebrate my 18th birthday! hurry get your license so you can drop my home if we go out :D haha. LOVE YOU, IAN CHANG! (:
cg: i realised tt although we're not close anymore, you've been at my bday celebrations for all the past 4 yrs! including this yr, its 5! wow. sometimes i think its kinda hard to believe the times we've both gone through, how things went from this to that and, there. but well. i'm glad tt you were once a big big part of my life. (: i wont deny or hide tt i yearn for a stronger friendship between us, but its ok. maybe its best tt things are this way? haha. and even though you're so mean to me, (you didnt even wish my happy bday even when i saw you in sch!), I LOVE YOU, CEDRIC GOH. (:
kh: haha i think you're cute! and your complexion is sooo nice! hmm. kh, you're a good catch! hahaha. anw, i realise i was never close to you. until you moved next to my place, then we got closer when you'd invite us to ur place for bbq and all (: and i realise tt you're a nice boy who's actually really easy to talk to! (:
yz: when you're loud and fooling ard, you're super funny and fun to be with. but when you're all serious and down-to-business, i actually like that side of you! (:
alex: the boy who is a big spender! stop buying all the branded goods! goshhh. you're making poor ppl like me so jealous. haha. go pile on more weight alex, you're waayyy too skinny. girls wont feel secured! haha. and you still owe me a sunflower(though i cant remember why).
lanz: haha, thank you for bus-ing all the way from cjc to my place! ur ass must have ached like crazy la haha.
j toh: i forgive you for not coming! =P haha
lanz+j toh+aaron+audd: let's continue our outings even in uni and all! (:
audd: THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOKIES! yummmm. anw i think nich ang is deprived of home-made cookies. we should bake should for his bday. aye aye? haha and thank you girl, for always taking all my grumpy-ness(i blame sch) in school and my 'bimbo-ness'. although you always stress me out like mad, cos you're way too diligent as compared to me, but its ok. you know i still love you! hehe. and i think my JC life would be so difficult if if you werent in my class! SO ITS FATE YOU SEE, my clasmate for 8 years! :D hehe. LOVE YOU, SMALL GIRL! (:
fenny+aileen: THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME A PRESENT! i love you girls! FACT: we're meant to be together!
co+em+sixuan: i'm 18 alr!! i can buy booze for you all know! HAHAHA. sometimes i really dunno why am i the oldest among us, cos i feel tt coco is far more mature than me! =/ haha anw we should have a sleepover someday, after my A's! (: i thank God tt he placed me in this church since i was young and for him to steer me back towards him(and the church) when i've drifted away in the past. hm. i forgot which is the verse which says tt fellowship is important, but oh well. FELLOWSHIP AMONG CHRISTIANS IS ESSENTIAL! (so em, you need to come for yf more often! =D ) and let us continue to grow in the Lord daily! (: i love you darlings! (:
anw i had class photo taking today. stupid nich and missed it though. oh well, and in one photo, it was everyone pointing their finger and ostracising kevyn! hahaha super funny. kevyn actually allowed us to do tt! he's super super funny. kevyn really really is a small boy trapped in a big man's body. i have interesting classmates. haha ok, i'm dead tired. chao, world.
am i crazy for wanting you? maybe do you think, you could want me too? i'm sick! and i'm really bummed, cos the blood donation thing is going on this fri(tomorrow) in the hub and I CANT DONATE MY BLOOD COS THEY DONT WANT IT! ): all because i fell sick this weeeeek. ahhh! i'm sad ): i wanna be generous and contribute my blood! =/ oh well. so yea, i'm sick right now and my voice sometimes turns into this sexy, husky boyish tone haha. i've got sore throat, flu, cough and sometimes a little bit of stomachache and headache. basically its abit of everything! and i'm boycotting doctors cos i dont really think they work =P so my parents spammed me with all sorts of medication. i had to down like, what, 4-5 diff types of medicine! hahaha. oh well.
soo! wy, ck and i cabbed down to ps after sch yest to watch 10 promises to my dog! AND I FORGOT TO BRING TISSUE PAPER! mistake mistake. its a jap movie bout a girl and her dog(obviously). and at the sad/touching part, i was crying and laughing(slightly) at the same time because: 1) ck is mad. who in the world says "tiffany, dont cry! later i'll cry also!" right in the middle of the sad part, and also, knowing tt i cry so easily? 2) *secret! cant say! only the 3 of us knows haha* 3) i was trying super hard not to breathe from my nose but from my mouth instead because there were super alot of mucus, being down with flu made it much much much worse, and to clear my nose i'll make SUPER ALOT of noise. 4) i was thinking to myself: who in the world makes themselves feel so uncomfortable even when crying?! -refer to point 3- 5) WHY DIDNT ANY OF US BRING TISSUE?!?! haha yepp. but the show's pretty nice. thanks wy for making us watch it (: he paid for the cab fare AND our movie tix! =D awww. and anw, i realise tt jap ppl always end up with their childhood friend! that is oh-so-sweeeet la! and i kinda infered tt jap ppl are kinda faithful? i mean, they've been carrying a touch for their childhood friend since young! (: oh look! the girl has the same converse shoes as me! hahaha and anw, i randomly chanced upon some of BoA, the suppperrr famous singer/dancer/model from korea who has been in the entertainment industry since she was a young teenager and is actually more well received in japan(in my opinion). i think her ear pierces are whacked man! (:(:(: she has like, 9 EAR PIERINGS IN TOTAL? and i realised that a women's hair really does do wonders to her outwards appearance. dont you agree with me? haha i think she looks better when she was younger. and i think if BoA isnt under the camera lens and with makeup on, i think she'll actually look like a typical china lady.. oh well. tts just my opinion.
anw, moving on. sch today was kinda slack! =D cos we had to do a survey in the com lab which made us miss 40mins of chem although the survey only took 10 mins.(HAHAHA) and our day was shortened to 110pm, because of A level chinese listening compre, and we didnt have GP lesson today! but the shorter timetable made no diff to malc and i since we had to retake our chinese =/ ahhh, and i think its soooo irritating tt they have to play 30mins of CLASSICAL MUSIC before we begin our listening! such a waste of time really, and it made me sleepy! =/ rahhh. but anw, i'm glad tt i've got nothing to do with A level chinese anymore! (: malc and i were walking to the bus stop after chi list compre just now, and i freaking missed 2 bus 95! the 1st one came while we were strolling towards the bus stop and i was too lazy to run(the sun was dammnnn hot today!) and the 2nd just whizzed by while the 1st one was still stopping at the bus stop! which means, 2 bus 95 came tgt. and i blame malcolm for not noticing the 2nd bus earlier =P cos by the time he saw it and pointed out to me, the bus just zoomed right by. hahaha. so malc's bus came shortly after and i was left alone. ): but bus 95 was kind to me! another one came bout 5mins later!
on the way home, i saw these 3 awfully ADORABLE jap kids! boy, girl, boy - according to age. the youngest boy was being carried by his maid. and i realise tt JAPANESE KIDS ARE SUPPERRR CUTE!! the boys are soooo cute, and the girl is sooo pretty! and her straight brownish hair kinda reminded me of my own when i was little (: i know they're jap, although the girl is wearing a local kindergarden's unifrom and most of the time i hear the kids speaking in english, because 1) they look jap, even though we're all asian, and we're supposedly to look about the same. 2) the eldest one was carrying a boxy backpack with a cute pouch thingy(to put lunchboxes) and his bag had a sticker which has "110yen" on it. 3) i heard the maid saying "Damare!" - which means'keep quiet' in jap to the boy when he was whinning. 4) i heard the maid calling the girl "yuro-chan" or smt lydat. haha. how cool is that, the maid knows jap la! ahhhhhh. i shall marry a japanese! hehe.
and i was kinda reminiscing the past, when i first moved into West Bay, my condo was FULL OF JAPANESE! how cool is that la. i remember always listening to mothers shouting to their kids in japanese, jap kids running all ard the place looking for their jap friends who also live in the same condo, and i remember my jap/spanish neighbour! jap dad, spanish mom with 3 kids-girl, boy, boy(who are btw, REALLY GOOD LOOKING and absolutly soooo cutteee). i really really miss them! ): though we arent THAT close, but i think tt they are my closest neighbour so far. i used to go over to their place to play playstation with the girl! (we would use the DDR dance mat to play some funny jap game which is kinda crazy) and their mom always bakes us REAALLLYY YUMMMY STUFF! like this caramel cake thingy, which i havent had, nor seeen, ever since they moved away ): and their house really had this japanese feeel. i cant describe it, but though its kinda foreign(cos i dunno how to read most of the stuff in their house since its in jap), it has this really comfy and home-ly feeling. (: AWWWWWWW. let me go back in time, PLEASE! i'll learn jap and be closer to my nice neighbours! ):): now , most of the jap ppl are being replaced by _______. =/ haiii. i'm not exactly racist, but i dont think i should type tt out, figure out urself! haha.
ok, i didnt wanted to blog so much actually! haha and coco! sixuan! tell me if the sat baking/stayover thingy works out ok! CAUSE I'M PRETTY PSYCHED BOUT IT!
i think i'm gonna need some therapy
oh babe i hope you got a PHD
won't you lay me on the leather couch?
i got alot of needs to talk about
i think i'm crazy, think i'm stupid
must have lost my mind
wondering what i'm thinking, loving you cos boy if you were mine
i'd really go insane, you'd be my favourite thing
i go ballistic yeah, you're making me a crazy chick
you're driving me to insanity
all the things you do
you make me come unglued
i just can't help myself
i need professional help, help
i need professional help!
you really done it this time
you know you've twisted my mind
you got me acting like a whacked-out chick
so i won't be responsible
cos i'm really not logical
no i won't be to blame
you know i'm really not sane
i think i'm crazy, think i'm stupid
must have lost my mind
wondering what i'm thinking loving you
cos boy if you were mine
i'd really go insane, you'd be my favourite thing
i go ballistic yeah you're making me a crazy chick
you're driving me to insanity
all the things you do
you make me come unglued
i just can't help myself
i need professional help, help
can't get you out of my head
so let me just confess
for those kisses, baby
for your love
you drive me crazy i can't get enough, no!
i think i'm crazy, think i'm stupid
must have lost my mind
wondering what i'm thinking loving you
cos boy if you were mine
i'd really go insane, you'd be my favourite thing
i go ballistic yeah you're making me a crazy chick
you're driving me to insanity
all the things you do
you make me come unglued
i just can't help myself
i need professional help, help
i need professional help!
hm. my photos are taking quite some time to upload. i think tts why i used to change my cam settings to 3 megapix instead. =/ and jy, i insist tt its not my cam which is lousy, its ur facebook zoom or wtv la! haha.
anw church today was pretty nice. Amanda, a youth ministry leader from the states, joined yf today and she gave the sermon too. sermon is super interesting! i think its the way she speaks. this is prob the first time i'm home now and i can still remember everything she preached! haha awesome-ness. so i shall share about today's sermon.
topic: Having child-like faith. [point to note, child-like faith is different from childish faith! so it does not mean one has to just have faith and believe everything gullibly.] how: 1) Asking God questions. but dont demand answers, cos it'll come in due time! 2) knowing that we are NOT perfect! so it is perfectly fine to make mistakes and screw up sometimes. it only through such that we can learn & grow closer to God. 3) not being self-conscious. being able to do things without caring about what others may think of you, eg. talking about christ with friends or praying in public. [ok. i think this is not so relevant to me since i'm really blessed to be in a methodist sch all my life, so i'm actually proud to admit tt i'm a child of God since most of my friends are christians too and we dont despise each other or anything. (: ] 4) be optimistic- trusting God for (good) things to happen. hm. this one used to be really easy for me, cos i've got this verse which i really stand by : "For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11. but as i got older, i realised that things arent always how i deemed it to be, and the reality can be harsh with setbacks and disappointments occuring every so often. And i'm afraid of the disappointment i'd get if i'm optimistic and wished for good things to happen, but it turned out to be the opposite. Sometimes i get scared, what if the good plans that the Lord has for me isnt what i have in mind? Would i still be willing and accept it and follow him with a cheerful heart? it is kinda contradicting of me to hope tt what i want would also eventually turn out to be his plan for me, but at the same time, to want to give up everything and follow christ..
oh well. i guess i'd just know it all in due time. haha. and Amanda spoke during yf too, bout letting go of everything to follow christ. i really think tt its easier said than done. but i also realised that to really follow christ, we've got to let go of everything and just let God take control. hmmmmmm... anw i could really see the intellectual diff between yf and syf today. haha. and though i'll be rising to syf next yr, i honestly dont think i'm ready! i think i've still got the thinking of a secondary school student. and this sucks! haha. how do i make my brain grow??
so anw, we took quite a few pics today! and there was quite alot of youths present today, min and em came! (: and i realise most of us got the same 'nice side' which is to stand on the left! which kinda sucks actually hahaha. hm anw, i edited most of the photos and i'm not posting up everything. so girlies, if u want the photos(in their original form or those tt i didnt post up), leave me a comment or find me on msn k! (: i think yee le is super cute but he refuses to cooperate with me to take a nice photo. =/ and my hair SUCKS. ): sixuan is sooo slim! (: pretty pretty girl! coco should just go be that model thing she told me about. JUST GO OKAY. haha look at Amanda, she's HOW TALL! she's taller than EVERYONE in my church i think. haha. but she says even in the states, she's also counted as tall. i love this lighting! (: makes my hair look not so awful. =D
hm, and a couple of photos from the bbq at mich's place on sat night (:
and on the way from clementi to bishan, on the MRT which freaking took me >45mins of travelling, i saw this dude with SUPER NICE bisceps! hahaha. his arm has the entire package man: his tan, the shape/size of his muscles, PLUS[very importantly] his tattoo! its super super nice pls! the tattoo is like, at the right angle, just-nice size, stylo, everything! goshh, damn hot la. hehe (:
rahhh, sch tml ): and its 4 weeks to prelims. gosh, it doesnt even feel like exam period. the teachers are still teaching curiculum! which i reckon, is freaking stupid. how in the world am i supposed to be doing tutorials AND revise my work at the same time?? stupid school. haha. and i'm turning into this j-pop/k-pop freak! its all channel 51, MTV taiwan's fault, really. haha. but jap/korean songs have this really cheerful and POP-ish genre which i really like!
so i'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. hm, i wanted to blog about my day. but it seems i'm kinda lazy right now, so i cant blog exactly everything what i wanted to say.
so, i skipped school on thurs to send my bro off to the army! he wont be home for the next 2 weeks, which means he wont be back on my birthday ): but my bro is kinda sweet, he wrote me a short letter and left it on his table, and it says tt i'm not supposed to open it till my bday (: hehe. so anw, the whole sending-your-son/brother/bf-off-to-army thing actually took much much longer than i expected! i woke up at 615am[tts even earlier than waking up for sch] and we only reached tekong at about 9am? stayed till, ard 12 i think. we had a tour ard the sch and a short presentation/talk/Q&A and they provided us lunch from the cookhouse! hm. i must say, i'm quite impressed with the food, its not bad la! got dessert somemore! haha but then! the sending off part after lunch was emo-y. parents biding their son farewell and then watching their son run over to the parade square to fall in, and seeing them jog away to their official first stay in BMTC. my mom cried and cried and cried. [this is def where i get my crying genes from] and i think she was the only mother crying, cos i only saw another young girl crying for her bf haha. its quite embarrassing actually. my mom said she was upset cos "her son is going in to suffer" haha the way she says it, seemed as if my bro is going to get bullied/torture physically or smt. but no, my bro is quite fit one la! haha so i replied tt he actually wont suffer so much, army is a good opportunity to turn him into a man! but then she said "next time you become a mother, you wont feel tt way alr." ahhh, shit la. i dont want to become a sobbing, overly protective/concerned mom next time!! but somehow i think, genetically, i would be like my mom. =/ aaahhhhhhhhh. oh well. anyhow, i cant wait for my bro to come back! feels kinda funny to come home to an empty house after sch and not having to guess where have my bro gone off slacking to. haha.
went back to sch today(fri) and audrey told me tt none of my classmates actually bought the excuse of me resting at home cos of menstrual cramps hahaha oh well. and so, the day went by pretty fast. i had A level [retake] chinese oral after sch! it didnt go well, it never did anw. i totally fumbled/stumbled like crazy while reading the passage, i dont even know what i was reading haha. and the conversation was... eh. the question was about the 4th university in singapore. i really wished i had bothered to pay attention when someone[or the news] was discussing smt bout it a few days/week before. so i couldnt answer much and i couldnt find the right words to say! =X my chi standard is reaalllyyy looowww man haha. the only uplifting/funny thing tt came out of the entire oral was during quarantine, when alvan, malc, ck and i were trying really hard to talk/complain and yet prevent getting caught by the chi HOD. but alvan and malc got caught in the end, hahahah. and malc was really nice and friendly to me today after sch till oral! (:(:(:(:(: tts the only thing which made me happy today.
after oral i came home and slacked for a while before heading out for Chapelton at fmss. met up with alex at kent ridge terminal and realise we were an hour early cos alex got the timing wrong. or rather, facebook got the time wrong, i guess. so we went for dinner[my dinner, alex's high tea] at cheese prata instead. reached fmss ard 730, chapelton alr started so we missed the 1st 'performance'. ok, performance isnt really a wrong word to use, it really seemed like a freaking concert la. and anw, when i first got into the hall, smt happened which really upset/bothered me, so i couldnt focus and listen to the sermon at all. moved to ck's side after a while, then i got better. sooooo. in my opinion, chapelton is kinda.. failed? IF its purpose was for ppl to experience God, then it failed. but if its purpose was just for fairsians/ex-fairsians to get tgt to worship and have fun tgt, then its pretty successful. i mean, frankly, i think its kinda difficult if you want both spiritual value AND entertainment value in a service. yongzhi was particularly upset cos he disagrees with their style of worship as its "no difference from a My Chemical Romance concert la." haha well, i do agree. i think cheryl does too. with crowds gathered at the feet of the stage performers, performers getting all high and absorbed in the moment, loud music, crowds with hands raised and jumping involved. i mean, i'm really not against lively worships, but i think there should be a certain limit to how uplifting it can be. i really didnt think the running-ard-in-a-long,wormy-line was appropriate. but i guess we should give that benefit of doubt tt some ppl DO experience God even through such overly-lively worships. i just dont think the majority would. i think, and believe, that most ppl actually attended chapelton just for the worships, and not the whole package of worship+sermon+prayer. thats kinda twisted, aint it? i'm not saying i'm a very holy & abiding christian or anything. i just think such behaviour is pretty disgraceful and christians really shouldnt be having tt mentality. i suppose it all boils down to how christians stand out from the crowd and live their lives daily as "reflectors of christ", not merely just how enthusiastic they are during worship on sundays. and i guess i'm saying all this because i think its kinda discouraging on me. sometimes i think, how can we, christians, acually do things this way? izzit right? but is there any wrong with it? how would tt make us different from non-christians then? do these ppl, at the end of the day, still get accepted to heaven? yongzhi said smt today which kinda got me pondering, he says tt in the bible, there's smt written like "not everyone who says 'Lord,..' 'Lord,..' will go to heaven." ok, my memory is reaalllyyy bad but i think the gist of it is there. so hmmm. hmm hmmm/ will i be able to go to heaven when i die?
on a lighter note, some random pics from today. and i think i dressed like a boy! wearing my bro's tee and all, with my awful, short hair haha ok, and anw cheryl and i were talking after chapelton about how we are just too insignificant among our EX-good friends from fmss. kinda sucks. sometimes i feel i have no friends except cheryl koh. my classmates are there just for fun and company during sch hours, churchies are always busy, and my ex-'clique'[clique is just a short form of saying 'good bunch of friends'] is dissolving at an exponential rate, i think its almost gone now. ohh welllll. thank God for STITCH who is always there for me!
hm. got this from ck's blog: i really dislike it when people sound so sure about
their choice at one point in time, and just in that short period of
time, they change their freaking mind. as in, if you werent sure about
it at first, then dont promise or agree. HAH. i sooooo dislike that too. its quite pissing off la, ur contradicting youself! and best still, you dont even know what foolish, idiotic things you said[about tt subject]before. and i dont like it when people just say things lightly, and they dont exactly mean it or take it to heart. and in a way, they break their 'promise'. idiotic know, really.
so anw, my 18th birthday's coming up soon.[alex kept emphasising today.] and although i'm still quite upset tt i have to live through my 18th with my awful hair, i've decided tt my bday present to myself is to get a ear piercing. either on my left tragus, left cartilage, left or right ear lope. i think it'll really take me alot of guts to pierce my tragus though. you can google the word up to find out which part of the ear is it, cos i dont wanna post photos of other ppl's tragus piercing. haha. and actually i think i'd wanna get a 'full house' next time. sometimes i wonder why am i doing such things- i think its cos, besides the thrill of physical pain, i'd wanna be different from the norm. different, yet still able to blend in, and still be able to remain the same tiffany. hm hm hmmm. oh well.
our past is now forgotten, awkward smiles surface at the thought of it. tuition just now was quite uncomfortable cos i keep having the puking feeling which really sucks cos i couldnt do anything about it but sit and try to not think about it. i think it was an opportunity for me to stick my finger in and try to be bullimic, esp cos it feels so much better when i bend over, but nahh. gagging is kinda a sick feeling. and i feel better now. i think walking ard and bending over really helped. so some random photos from dinner at some restaurant last week. hmm samsung cam isnt tt good actually.. you dont mess with the ED HARDY! :D some disgusting(to me) durian pudding which EVERYONE simply loved. =/
photos from fairfield's funfair on sat! (: hmmmm. it was quite ok la, i stayed there for quite a some time actually. and i found out tt i really looovvveeeee onigiri!onigiri = japanese rice ball. seeee, i'm sooo meant to live in japan! :D i really really really reallyX1000000 hope tt cheryl and i get to go to japan tgt next yr! (: hm, i'm too lazy/busy to edit the photos, so ya. quite cute rite, so small & so big! haha. mr lim seow cheong! mr ray! look at our hands! haha and fmss toilet mirrors are damn dirty man, wth. kh has flawless skin! tofu cheek! this is cg's real height! i have nooo idea since when was he sooo tall! lol. cg stooping down for me! =D and yes, he's always the most wanted guy among us either there's smt wrong with me, or alex actually reminds me of norman! by the way he stands haha. and i've concluded tt kh looks so cute! (: clement says he looks funny, but i think they look so cute together! (: ONIGIRI!
hm, photos from church on sunday (: ahh, and i think my hair is seriously awful. =/ botak ivan! hahaha, this is what NS does to you.
some random photos of yuki-chan and snowy-chan! these are their new names =D
heh, and i realise tt korean songs are super cute! and their dance steps are so interesting! i happened to be watching mtv chinese channel 51 and stumbled upon these mtvs! haha watching korean mtvs make me happy! ck and jy, must watch ok! =D
Mc mong - circus
Super Junior Happy - cooking? cooking!
youtube is my best friend! =D i havent been on mysoju in a loonnnggg time. but i've watched a jap movie[which i stumbled upon which searching for smt else on google], lovely complex, on youtube! its about this short short dude and this taaallll girl(who are gd friends but always quarelling with each other) falling for each other! this is the guy who acted in 'dragon zakura'! the cute one with the cool, stylish, nicely highlighted pink hair! but i dont think he's tt short in real life though.. and now i'm taking my time to watch this anime, which i happened to stumble upon[again]. its called 'Ouran high school host club'! this character is 'honey-sempai' and he's super suuppperr cute! he's always carrying his bunny ard with him.
so yes, i think this is quite a long post. haha and i love youth day, because its a school holiday! (: ok, gtg. sch's tml. zzzZZZZZ.
love was, loving your presence. love is, happy reminiscing the past..
haha. actually i think there's smt i want, and tt only cg can give it to me, but its kinda impossible. not tt its ex or anything la. but, oh well. (: 
the sky was super gloomy & overcast, but surprisingly there was no jam at ACS(I) so i wasnt late for sch! (: audd left a big tupperware of double choco cookies on my seat in assembly (: yummm. nich gave me choco and a card. which i was instructed by audd&nich not to open till 5pm tt day! hm. suspicious! hahah but i was really quite excited to open the stupid card la. HAHAHA. (just kidding nich =P) 
