I'm writing this entry because a fellow Xangan of mine had just reminded me of something I should be thankful for. Not penises, but friends. Yes, friends. The big f-word. I think I'm having trouble grasping that concept because I'm so unused to talking and attaching myself to other people. I still think I'm socially inept, though not to the same extent that I was around this time last year. Have I grown? Maybe. A little, I guess. I think working at Blockbuster has helped me deal with people, assholes, and mice in general. and also my fear of social settings and diet beverages. I'm not gonna say that I'm completely cured of my social-anxiety-related-irks-and-unreasonably-insensible-shits, but I'm getting there. I still find it hard to "make friends". I haven't been able to make a new one since 8th grade I think, if I can remember that far back. I don't know, sometimes time doesn't go by at the same rate in my head as it does in reality.
I'm scared that when I go back to the Philippines this December, they'll hate me because I don't even remember half the things they do when I still lived there. I can barely recall what it was like. Or maybe they'll just hate me because I stopped writing to them, that I'd forgotten them, stashed them away inside my shoebox, only to reminisce on garbled words and hallmark photos. Either way, I don't remember. I just don't, and it's confusing because sometimes I miss them and I won't know why. It sucks because it's irrational and irrelevant. and it doesn't make any sense because I don't remember. or maybe I'm just confusing myself. Hell, I don't even know anymore.
Now that the price of gas exceeds that of my grocery bills, I thought that I might share with you one of the things that I picked up when I was kid. Of course, aside from climbing trees, playing on the trampoline, getting bullied on a regular day-to-day basis, and being called a freak for wearing men's underwear, I enjoyed bike-riding as a child. It's really fun actually. Just two days ago, I decided to ride my bike around my neighborhood in lieu of the settling thunderstorm. Oh, the rain as it trickles down on my black silken hair dancing in the wind, while obscuring my view from the SUV coming towards me. How great the outdoors.
So anyhow, the point I want to make today is that biking may help you and your loved ones save a lot of money and a lot of heartache. Not just on gas, but also on car-related things such as oil changing, car inspection, the need to update one's driver license, being ticketed, undesignated parking areas for those w/o parking permits, and roadkill. (Think about it, you are less likely to run over deer on a bicycle!) Besides, bike-riding is environmentally friendly, hence decreasing the amount of automobile pollutants in the air, carbon emissions from various vehicles, as well as angry pedestrians. And we all know what angry pedestrians lead to! Jaywalking.
Oh, and you know what else? Now that everyone is stressing the need to stay fit and exercise, why not just bike, instead of driving to your neighbor's house. Yes, you know what neighbor. The one with a 142" 1080p HD Plasma TV with Blu-ray capabilites and as an added on bonus an HDMI cable on a dual-layer polycarbonate CD-RW/DVD-R burner with a 220gig external hardrive and a 3.44ghz Pentium DualCore2 processing chip. That neighbor. and did I mention, he has air conditioning? Yes, my friend, yours is broken.
So I have come to the conclusion, that if you want to do us all a favor, and if you want to prevent global warming and dead animals, then ride a bike and be a hero!
Updates, updates. Haven't been here in a while, but nothing too interesting has happened in the past month that I've been away from xanga.
My shoe count is up to 25 or so odd pairs. From bright yellows to lime greens, to baby blues, and hot pinks. Sexy, I know. It's also expensive, pointless, time consuming, and wasteful. Kind of like smoking, except without the added-on benefits of lung cancer and gingivitis. Other than that, they're pretty much the same thing. Say for instance: They both result in overspending. They drain wallets on a weekly basis (and consequently fill others'). They're one of those I-see-you-like-doing-this-so-I-am-compelled-to-do-it-too type of things. or actually, it might be the opposite of that. The I'm-a-non-conformist-so-I'll-do-this-to-show-you-I-don't-conform mindset. Okay, I'm making a generalization about smokers and sneakerheads, and I'm mocking myself. I know not everyone pursues these uhh, hobbies, for the same reasons, but that money could've been used to fix my car. I could've used that money to fix my front-end bumper, which was rear-ended by mother and which was one-week later driven into another car. I could've, I could've. But I didn't. Instead, I spent them on kicks. Some even neatly tucked away in their respective boxes, unopened, unused. They're sacred and no one is allowed to touch them.
I'll stop, I swear, Jesus. But my last pair's shipping in on Monday, so you'll have to wait.
On a lighter note , It's hot as FUCK , and my portable air-conditioner DOESN'T WORK . The heat wave's supposed to last till the end of this week , or till global warming subsides . So for now, I'm sleeping with my siblings .
I caught a mouse yesterday at work, and it was fun for a change.
I have no life.
And I like oatmeal.
Cinnamon-and-Spice is the shit.
So eat it. Eat my shit. Eat it until it tastes like oatmeal, Bitch.
Then after that, $$$$--quit. I'll make enough money, quit before school starts, and vacation this winter to my home planet. The Philippines! I'm ecstatic, I can't wait, and it's the first time I'm traveling by myself overseas on an 18+hr flight to stay for 3 weeks at a place I've grown all too unfamiliar with. (I'll probably get lost, end up on the wrong flight, contract tapeworm, or catch malaria or both.)
My sister and I are planning to document our summer misadventures and/or boredom-antics on webcam starting sometime next month I guess. I'm also planning to finish decorating my ceiling with those magazine clippings I started on during winter break. I'm going to run religiously everyday or as much as possible, and I'll try to stop spending my money on sneakers. I should. Like, really. I should. I don't have any more room left on my floor.
I also don't know why I have the sudden and inexplainable urge to make New Years' resolutions, nor do I know why I feel like I'm on crack.
But I still can't get over my fear of crowds. or speaking in front of a group of just 10 people (or 5). or even just in front of aperson. sometimes, mind you. not all the time. I'm usually moody and have hormonal imbalances. My hormones are frucked. Permanently, I think. In 10th grade my period stopped for some reason (that I have yet to disclose). This lasted for a good 2 and a half years, until my mom decided to drag me to see the gynecologist. Personally, I didn't want to, and I didn't care if I was going to be amenorrhetic (no not anorexic, silly) for the rest of my life. But she was convinced I was going to die early if I didn't menstruate, so I had to go. for her sake anyway. Actually, I told her that I only stopped having it for about a year. She never knew that it was actually 2 and a half years (and she still doesn't), but there's a good reason for why I lied. It's all in the numbers.
I hate the gynecologist. Not my gynecologist, but just the idea of, "THE GYNECOLOGIST". It just sounds intimidatingly scientific, and a little scary, as opposed to say, "optometrist" or "zoologist". Anyway, she was this fairly plump (Swedish?) woman, who wore square-shaped frames and rolled about on her swivel chair to get from point A to point B across the clinic. She wasn't too scary, I guess. They had lollipops and mints. I'm not going to describe what a gynecologist does (if you don't know look it up on wikipedia), but I will say that she prescribed me birth control pills to boost my hormonal estrogen + progesterone levels. She also gave me free samples of calcium. And I took some of the lollipops on my way out.
Strange experience. Strange, indeed.
I hated the pills. They were probably one of the worst things I've ever had to take in my life. Not because I had to take them every single morning, but because they were just really REALLY incompatible with my body, physiologically. So I stopped taking them after about 4 months because they were screwing with me.
Then eventually, the red guy came back. Took a while, but it's still not regular though. Usually, I only get it for 1 and a half to 2 days each month or every other month. Before 10th grade, I'd get get it for about 4-5 days every 28 days. But I guess now, it's eased up a bit.
I don't know why I'm writing about this today of all days, but uh, I guess if anyone's had any similar experiences, I'd like to know how those birth-control pills affected them physiologically, or if they experienced any uncommon adverse side-effects from taking them (and no, I don't mean bloating, water-retention, or constipation). I'm still convinced that I was better off without them. or maybe I'm just stubborn and immature.
, It's hot as FUCK 
, and my portable air-conditioner DOESN'T WORK 
. The heat wave's supposed to last till the end of this week 
, or till global warming subsides 
. So for now, I'm sleeping with my siblings 
.
