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| well looook what i found... wow i havent updated in over a year thats a little nuts, i think i just kinda forgot this exsisted. Alot has changed first being im not longer at pitt or pharmacy school. I switched gears and started nursing school in august the schedule kinda blows but besides that its ok. I do have a wonderful boyfriend, quite possibley the best in the world. He's moving to NC pretty shortley im not too happy about that. I still work at the eckerd sometimes i think ill never leave. Besides that not a whole lot goin on. I was bored when i started to write this now im not so i think iim gonna go.. oh today is thanksgiving by the way so happy thanksgiving and enjoy the update  | | |
| I've been meaning to update for quite sometime... but for some reason i just havent been in the mood to do so. It's almost thanksgiving and while i wasn't supposed to come home for the holiday i quit my job as sears so i could. So far this year ive had strep 2 times and a touch of the stomach flu as well as a cut cornea, i was a pirate for several days because of that. Any way this weekend my roommate from last year, Jacque, came up for a visit. I love her soooo much and it made my entire year that i got to see her. We went shopping and i bought pants- today i think im gonna go find some shoes to go with them. We rented moviiies and we even went to red lobster. I wish she was still here i miss her alot. Schools been pretty stupid this year, but its getting better ill be taking a summer class or two i just cant wait to get on with the part of my life im really looking forward too. I better go i have smelly calculus at 12, school is always interfering with my social life stupid college | | |
| Sooooo... didja miss me  anyway im back at school in case you were wondering and yes im still not doing any work or studying we're gonna see how that works out this year. So far ive had about 9 people come to my room and ask me to help them which i dont care mostly because alot of them are very good looking members of the opposite sex. Lets see whats happend this month haha. I went to see jacque and now that im actually in school i realize how much im going to miss her this year, definitely one of the best people ive ever met in my life. Next order of business i dont much care for my schedule this year i hate calc but there is one very good thing about it and that is that it makes my ankles very itchy... or at least thats what monica and jenn tell me hehe . Also if some of you did not know right before school i met this really attractive very tall young man that i like very much. He was very nice to me and i miss him alot. Unfortunately as he tells me we never agreed on any kind of arrangements before school so hes off possibley gettin' a little action while im here trying not to make him mad and jealous and not being with any one else... i know what youre thinking and yes i am a dumb ass, but i just cant get my mind off of him eeever. Hes a sweet heart and it doesnt hurt that hes big haha take it how ever u want I have got to stop caring about people life would be so much more simple if i just didnt give a fuck and let people screw themselves. theres a few other things that are going on in my life that are just a little too personal to share in here beings my 9 year old cousin just commented in my last entry haha... bad idea to say nething worth saying now any how heres my latest favorite kelly song 
seems like just yesterday you were part of me. i used to stand so tall i used to be so strong. your arms around me tight everything it felt so right, unbreakable like nothing could go wrong... now i cant breath no i cant sleep im barely hangin on
Here i am once again im torn into pieces cant deny it cant pretend just thought you were the one. Broken up deep inside but you wont get to see the tears i cried behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything, opened up and let you in you made me feel alright for once in my life now all thats left of me is what i pretend to be so together but so broken up inside cause i cant breath no i cant sleep im barely hangin on
Here i am once again im torn into pieces cant deny it cant pretend just thought u were the one. Broken up deep inside but you wont get to see the tears i cried behind these hazel eyes.
Swallow me then spit me out, for hating you i blame myself, seeing you it kills me now. No i dont cry on the outside anymore.
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| Weelll look who it is... haha its been like a month but who cares. No ones complained so i guess no one wants to know what i have to bitch about lately. Anyway heres whats going on. I haven't talked to Rob in over a week, and thats completely over.. even if it isn't im making it that way. This of course is after he borrowed tons of money from me and never paid a cent of it back. Friggin' loser. Which brings me to my next point. I'm sick of killing myself trying to do things for people, and be extra nice and then get screwed over by those same people. Not cool, in case you were wondering. Ok next subject- i have mono, and then i found out i have a few cysts on my ovaries. I don't really know what's gonna be done about that, i have to go back to the doctor before i go to school. With my luck they'll probably have to cut me open or something, thats just the way it goes. Here's some other good news, im getting contacts on wednesday, aaand thatll be good. Except it's more money i dont have. For once i'd like to have someone in my life take care of me instead of the opposite way around. The next order of business is.. IM GOING TO SEE JACQUE in like.. a week id make a big smiley face if i could. She was so my absolute best friend in school, ill miss her this year... stupid shippensburg stealing my roomie. Steph is coming for friday night too, even bigger smiley face. I love her almost as much, my little spandex dancing friend haha. I really hate not having a bf.. or something close to one anyway. blaaaaah. You know who else i miss, stinkin' jared i havent talked to him in a long long time, by the way bud that song is kelly clarkson "because of you". Ooook school starts the 28th, im kind of excited but worried at the same time because im not too sure anything can compare to freshman year. we had the BEST times ever. Last order of xanga-ness issss... i want to take a vote on who thinks i get attached to things or people quickly, leave comments about this im interested in seeing whats up. ok then catch ya later kids | | |
| This is my new favorite song... i have another one i like just as much but my cd is now in my car and i cant get it because theyre putting new brakes on the car i just got 2 weeks ago *big mad face* anyway ill post more later, this pretty much describes my mood though
I will not make the same mistakes that you did. I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery. I will not break the way you did you fell so hard. I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far.
Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you Ive learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you i find it hard to trust not only me but everyone around me.. because of you I am afraid.
I loose my way and its not too long before you point it out i can not cry because i know its weakness in your eyes im forced to fake a smile a laugh everyday of my life.
My heart cant possibley break when it wasnt even whole to start with.
I watched you die, I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young you shouldve known better than to lean on me. You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain. And now i cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.
Because of you i try my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you i dont know how to let anyone else in. Because of you im ashamed of my life because its empty... im afraid because of you. | | |
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