. issues of womanhood .

i can't get this off of my mind lately.  so much has been going through my mind and i have been learning like crazy.
what was i created for?  what is my design?  what does that mean for my life?  where am i going?  what does this look like????
just to throw it out there... and what has been going through my mind and my heart...
here are some quotes from a sermon i heard a few weeks ago and can't stop listening to.  such truths...

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What does a lady look like... that is God's woman?
Just as much as there is an identity crisis with men... there is an identity crisis with women.

Men are wired for respect. 
[She] asked the question of the men and women... "would you rather be loved than disrespected?"
Here's the issue... if you ever act or ever say "i love you, but i don't respect you"... you might as well take that guy's heart and trample it.
"I love you" and "I respect you" is the same thing to a guy.  Their heart is wired to receive respect.

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised...

A godly woman is hard to get, not easy to find.  (That's good news... that's tough news.)
This is not some woman you can find at walmart!
This means that ladies... how you interpersonally relate to a guy... has to share this principle that you are hard to get.
Ladies... never carry yourself in a way that says to a guy "ask me out, ask me out, ask me out..."
because ladies... a godly woman is hard to find... is rare!

Ladies... carry yourself in a way that is valuable.  You are rare... not common.

A godly lady is hopeful.  She can laugh at the days to come...
Godly ladies will says this "it's dark, this hurts, but i know because of God and Jesus... there's gonna be a better day."

How does the lady in your life carry herself verbally?  Make sure you are with a lady that is verbally gracious.
If you go out with a lady that is backstabbing her friends and complaining and being very ugly in her language...
you will become the subject in some point in the future.
Ladies, how do you carry yourself verbally?  This is a struggle for women.

Godly ladies... they need respect.
And guys... we need to quit this whole "i'm a man and i don't do well with words."

A woman who fears the Lord... is to be praised!
Ladies... you will never want to own these values... you'll never desire these things... unless you have a relationship with Jesus.  Because all of these attributes are alien, foreign, to your flesh. It is only through the humility of God getting ahold of your life and redeeming you, that you can ever be these things... it has to happen through a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Ladies, i know that the whole Prince Charming, the knight in shining armor, riding on a horse through the forest with his stablehand, coming to you... is a huge, powerful image in your life.  And i want you to know that Jesus is the knight in shining armor.  Your husband will never be that.  It is Jesus who's the knight in shining armor.  So ladies, what kind of guy do you want?  You want the stablehand.  You want the stablehand - the guy who comes alongside Jesus and says "honey, it's Him.  He's the Knight, I'm the stablehand... He's the Knight, He's the King, He's our redeemer, He's God, He's our Rescuer, He's the LORD!... I'm just the stablehand."

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Wow... and that's just a GLIMPSE of what i've been thinking about lately.
Really makes me think alot about who am I and what I'm like... what I'm becoming.
And honestly... it's so refreshing to realize that I'm looking for the standard of a "stablehand"... not the Knight.  I've already found the knight.  How exciting.  Now just to find that man who is willing and ready and excited to SERVE the King for the rest of His days... and I get to serve alongside him for all of my days!!

Sorry for the heavier topic on this post...
but my heart is being torn apart lately. 
And i'm learning... patience is hard.  But I'm slowly being reminded that it's worth it.  I know it will be.

. i never saw it this way before .

. deceitful smooth talk and urgent words .

a good friend pointed this out to me tonight.
it went along with a recent discussion that person and i have had together.

the passage goes something like this...

...

I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause division
and put obstacles in your way that are contrary
to the teaching you have learned.
Keep away from them.
For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites.
     BY SMOOTH TALK AND FLATTERY THEY DECEIVE THE MINDS OF NAIVE PEOPLE.
Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you;
but I want you to be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil.

:: Romans 16:17-19 ::

...

I just say 'hmm'...
and I realize I am glad for close friends who will help me realize this.
I am glad for people in my life who are entirely and utterly, completely and genuinely honest with me.
RAW honesty. Even when it hurts. Even when it brings tears to their eyes... to my eyes...

I guess sometimes I just forget to appreciate the honest friendships that I have.
I have seen that often recently.

And I am blessed.

How am I today?

I am blessed.

My new prayer is for wisdom and discernment.
I have been going through Ephesians and find it so very very relevant. As all of Scripture is... but this just really stands out to me these days.
And I'm only in chapter one! But my God is so huge and overwhelming... even in just these few verses.
I love the passion that drives Paul during this entire letter, especially where he is describing his thanks for the saints in Ephesus -
and his passion for PRAYER - not ceasing to give thanks for these believers, and continually asking the glorious Father
to give them the S P I R I T of wisdom and revelation, and that the E Y E S of their heart may be E N L I G H T E N E D in order
that they may know the H O P E to which they have been called!
And that hope lies in our inheritance in being called a CHILD of God!

My word, how exciting!
I mean, do you even see that? Do you realize that?
My calling is to be holy... and blameless... and pure.
And I fall so short every day.

I just get so excited every time I come to this passage.
Lord, please grow me... and use me...
teach me, and mold me...
make me wholly yours...
as I WHOLLY surrender before Your feet...
broken at the foot of the cross...
unworthy.
so less deserving.

yet molded. shaped. created.
for a purpose.
one Holy desire. design.
a glorious use. calling. life.

I am yours.

If you make everything glorious,
and I am Yours...
       What does that make me??

...

to the only wise God be GLORY forever through Jesus Christ! Amen.

:: Romans 16:27 ::

. passions exemplified .

life continually excites me.
i am looking for passion.
    i have realized that those things in which you can speak so easily on, are those for which you have the most passion.
    it's hard for me to talk about my God sometimes.  and i realize i am not near passionate enough....
i am working on this.  because i am longing... searching... growing... becoming passionate.

     I liken God's purposes to a pure but unpredicatble river.
Impatient self-promotion actively seeks out a speedboat to
outrun the current and rush toward the future.  Fear of failure
stands on the banks cautiously to observe before even getting
her feet wet.  But perhaps obedience simply wades into the
center and lets the current of God's presence set the pace, be
it swift or still.
     Because, after all, is not our true aim and aspiration just
to be near God?  Jesus seems to exemplify this perspective.
Whether "Not yet, my Son" tucked him away in obscurity or
walked unstressed and unhurried.  His peaceful pace seems
to imply that he measured himself not by where he was going
and how fast he could get there but by whom he was following
and how closely they walked together.
     Patience grows well in such soil.  She is the ally of a soul
that makes God its primary pursuit, because in this journey
called life, regardless of the scenery, such a soul is deeply
contented in the Company.
                                                                  :: anonymous ::
                                                                  :: alicia britt chole ::

. jesus and beer .

tonight my pastor got up on stage... sat down on his stool at his table... and began to give further announcements.
a lady walked up to the table staged as a waitress, and whispered a question of preference.
after a few more exchanged whispers, the lady walked away and Pastor Rob went on with his announcements.
near the end of these announcements, the lady walked back out with a beer in hand and a nice tall mug.

interesting illustration, i think to myself.  probably just water, though.

my pastor went on to pour the beer into the mug, while simply explaining what was going on, and introducing our next subject in our series of culture collision...
and how Jesus handled the collision of Himself and the culture of His time.

well, that sure is foaming like real beer.

i am astounded.  somewhat impressed.  what other pastor would stand in front of his saturday night congregation and pour a tall glass of beer?
and i didn't feel awkward.  should i have?  perhaps.  i will say though, i did not feel entirely comfortable.  it didn't feel right. 
but perhaps it wasn't entirely awkward because i was thinking several steps ahead and already saw in my mind the point of his message playing out in front of me.

too often we are stuck on what we should and shouldn't do... and sometimes that bothers me.
Pastor Rob made a good point tonight that when it comes to the matter of these "gray issues" (alcohol, versions of the Bible, movies and music)... arguments about such matters often arise out of a self-righteous spirit.  too often we are creating arguments to show off how "good" we think we ourselves can be.  scripture says that we should be more concerned with the Author of the scriptures.

we get so wrapped up in what we should and shouldn't be doing in our culture.
in Jesus' culture they portrayed the eating of meat as a holy and religious symbol... something that made them "better".
too often we think that way as well... i'm a good Christian if i don't drink at all.  i'm a good Christian if i use the King James Version of the Bible.  i'm a good Christian if i listen to only Christian music.  ...

i think the key thought should be more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 8:8-9...
But [these things] do not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not [do these things] and no better if we do. 
Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak.

i don't have many other thoughts on this subject at the moment, but i must say...
i appreciate my pastor's ability to "say it like it is"... he has a unique humility that can both gently and harshly throw the truth into your face and make you look not only at your own life... but at the life of Christ... and make you wonder how the two are lining up.

Freedom in Christ does not mean we can do what we want to do...
it means we can do what God wants us to do.