Currently Listening Transplants By Transplants One Seventeen see related

Heh, I think I beat the HS Webcam Chat Party thread in the longevity record....it's been about six months since I said anything here.

I wish that I could say "I'm wonderful and everything is going great".  In some cases, it is, and others, not so much.  My sleeping comes and goes, as does my peace and serenity.  I would have figured, after all that I've been through in these past years, that things would just make sense and come easy.  Well, guess what.  They don't.

Maybe it's that way for some people, I dunno.  More power to them if it does.  For me, it seems there is an ongoing battle that I must fight on a daily basis.  The odd thing, is that I don't totally know why.  Perhaps there is a part of me that needs the struggle, to feel.  Sometimes pain feels more real than anything else.

I am sure there are several of you out there that can relate.  I just wonder why we hold on to it.  Threre really is no need.  Sometimes, when I lay there at night, trying to sleep, I have to force other images into my head, cause the ones there are the faces of my kids, of my mom and dad, and any other painful memory that decides to show it's ugly head.

I do have a lot to be thankful for though, and I need to remember, that none of those things would/will be possible if I fail. (yeah, no pressure...lol).  So, I will just keep on keeping on, as they say.  Whomever they is, I do not know, but "they" seem to have done something right, so I will try to follow in "their" footsteps.

Anyway, I am still alive and kicking, and will do whatever it takes to persevere, as I have always done.

Okie Dokie, blogthings bandwagon time...

Your Personality is the Rarest (INFJ)

Your personality type is introspective, principled, self critical, and sensitive. Only about 2% of all people have your personality - including 3% of all women and around 1% of all men. You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

You Are a Marble Cake

Eclectic, inventive, and peaceful. You are never willing to accept what's "normal." You live to push the envelope. You find it hard to make up your mind. You prefer to have everything you want, right away!

You Are 75% Passionate, 25% Compassionate

You are very passionate, especially when it comes to love. In fact, it's sometimes difficult for you to tell between love and lust. You jump in head first, and figure things out later... usually when it's all over!

Pisces - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: You're very tuned into your lover's feelings - and always doing something caring. Sweetness - you're the most romantic person your partner has ever met. You get easily swept away and are a total delight to fall in love with. Your negative traits: You are super duper sensitive and find it hard to get out of a sad mood. It's difficult for you to tell your sweetie no, even when you should. You often tell your partner what they want to hear, instead of being honest. Your ideal partner: Is straight from a fairy tale - the man or woman of your dreams Is a total romantic, with an artistic or creative side Loves to express their love to you, in all sorts of unique ways Your dating style: Dreamy. You like traditional romantic dates, like picnics in the park and candlelight dinners. Your seduction style: Fearless - you try what your partner suggests, no matter how unusual. Loving. You'll take your pleasure second, if necessary. Internal. A lot of your enjoyment takes place within your head. Tips for the future: Be more realistic. Your romantic ideal is nice, but it may just not happen. Let go of your fear of rejection - it's holding you back from being with your true love. Open yourself up to a new love. The person you think you want make not be the one.. Best color to attract mate: Seafoam green Best day for a date: Friday

Cows are my frieeeeends…

It seems like forever since I have blogged.  I suppose it really has been.

It's rather difficult to do so when you don't really have access to the internet, go figure...

I try to get on when I can, but most of the limited time I get is used for job searching and taking care of things that have the highest priority, which in this case, blogging and going to the Star Wars board have not been high up on that list.

I am currently trying to get acclimated to a new enviornment, and so far, it is going very well.  They say nothing is constant but change, but I think things are to a point where that change will be less frequent, and I can finally stabilize.

The bouts of major depression I was going through are gone, and I don't think they will be coming back.  I have been dealing with a lot of the issues that were causing it, and the one that was causing me the most pain, is no longer a problem.

Letting go is really hard sometimes, of the past, of mistakes I have made, and things that I had no control over yet blamed myself for them anyway.  I don't want to do that anymore.  I want to live and be happy, and I have found the peace that eluded me for so long...at last.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well.  I will check back in soon.