grrr

heeeeeeeeeeyyyy...

once again, been working too much...had an anxietry attack cuz im stressed out over the limit...

got my license...got a car...

me and eric have still been arguing...

bout to quit my job- its a bunch of bullshit....plus i could get paid more at the hospital job i was offered- $9.50/hr, i'd only be working weekends for a little while(which is awesome, cuz ima be starting school here in a couple of months- college, of course, i already graduated high school) AND id get insurance like a mofo, cuz id be working at a hospital....

bought a new swimsuit and "lil black dress" as thinspiration...thankfully(god its horrible to say this, but its true) me and eric wont be together as much here for a couple of weeks, so i can restrict my diet better, and maybe a side benefit will be we wont argue as much....

how do yall like my new layout?

fuck the world, lets all get high

hey yall! whats been up?! i know i havent been on here in forEVER but its cuz.....*drum roll please!* I GOT A JOB! and unfortunately(and fortunately, at the same time) im working ALL of the time...ive had several people tell me that i look like im coming off of a 10 year crack binge..... so the other part of the time, im sleeping.... and about 0.01% of the time im eating....and 99% of the 0.01% of the time that im eating, im making sure i dont pick up the calories from that food....

and im about done with men, i swear to god...actually, im about done with people....me and eric always arguin, and i *STILL* don't have any friends....

been really irritable, pissed off, MOODY AS FUCK, crying about everything, and i have NO appetite(thats the best part)....dont know what the fuck is up with me, but ive just been really depressed lately....

AND i got kicked out again.... and then moved back in....

HAPPY FUCKING 4:20!!!!!!!!!!!

and yeah...love yalls!

AAAWWWWWWWWESOME!

hey yalls!!!!!!!!!

final destination 3 was the pimp shizNITE! AND i seen it for free....when you know someone who gets bootlegs, it's like...the best thing since sliced bread.....add in the fact that the bootleg is just about as good as theatre quality, and its the best thing since sliced bread and BUTTER.... :D

sooooo............. me and eric are awwwwwwwwsome..... i have a huge fine at the library and he surprised me by paying part of it off!!!!! awwwww!!! i went to go pay some of it off today and got my balance back and was all...."erm....that's sooo not right, but i'm sooo not complaining!" and he smiled in this way and just said "that's cool" and i soooo knew he was the one who paid it....eventually after a tickle fest, he admitted it too.... :D

and the fact that he brought up the subject of mArRiAgE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it wasn't the whole joking thing he usually does...he brought it up over dinner.... when we were by ourselves for like, the first time in the 2 days we had together............ *squeals*

so other than me and eric.....everything else is pretty much the same......

intake....a bunch. so not even worth talking about.......... + part of a purge, which for some reason, i couldn't get myself to throw up so i've been feeling DISGUSTINGLY fat....but i also took 2 metabolife, 2 laxies and 1 diuretic....and like, 4 bottles of water.............

my mom's still a FUCKING BITCH ASS WHORE....so you know i had this job in a place called brownsburg which was like, 5 minutes driving time away from me...this was in august- october right? and the reason i had to quit is because my BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, CARING MOTHER decided that even though i was paying her gas money, she wasn't going to take me anymore!!!!!! well...i got home today and guess what?! she wants me to APPLY FOR A JOB ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE PLACE I WAS WORKING AT!!!! i was like......WTF?! do you REALLY expect me to TRUST you to take me to work until i can afford my OWN car without you doing something RETARDED like NOT TAKING ME TO WORK ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH ONE OF THE 5,000,000 THINGS YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERYTDAY IS THE FACT THAT I DON'T FUCKING HAVE A JOB?

but yeah. what a cunt faced whore............

so anyway..........

<3

Fairy Tales

hey all...........

so.........

what would you do if the only (real time) "friends" you had were a.) always too busy for you b.)not too busy for you, but they choose to solely hang out with their boyfried and all of YOUR old friends c.) decide that the 5 minutes of conversation you have before they decide the HAVE to get off the phone is going to be dedicated TALKING about all your old friends.... and then asking if i'm jealous......

hmmm...... i thought the smoke coming out of my ears was a hint, but i guess not. you know, you would think with all the times i've TOLD her that i'm FUCKING JEALOUS of her would make her stop. but............no. instead i just get to hear ALL about how Sarah's baby is SOOOOOO cute..... and how Will is getting married, and guess who took my place as bridesmaid?! and oh my god, how cute shayna's little boy is when he's in his little suit! and oh-my-god the bridesmaids dresses are SOOOOOO pretty and she can't WAIT  to be in the wedding. the wedding that I was supposed to be in. oh, and not to mention the fact that she's got tons of BEST FRIENDS all of whom happen to be the people that I care(d) about the MOST.

but no. i'm not jealous at all. i just want to rip her tongue out and stitch her mouth up while it fills with all the blood she'll be choking on, and then lunge a knife into that nice soft spot under your chin where when you press it it kinda freaks you out a little bit because it's so soft and it goes right throught the floor of your mouth. but no. im not jealous one. little. bit.

not to mention the fact that she's holding the balls of 2 different guys in her hands and she's toyin with em. one who happens to be her ex-fiance who she gave up ALL "rights" to when she dumped him for MY ex. the other one is my ex's ex-best friend. guess why THEY'RE not friends anymore???? because she screwed around with MY ex and now she's screwing around with his friend..... grrrrrr.....i remember i used to talk to her all of the time how i missed everyone.......... ironically enough she's gone and become they're friend now. and you know....it's amazing....the part that probably breaks my heart the most is the fact that she knows most of OUR "inside" jokes....and she doesn't get it when i say, "Yes, I DO know what you're talking about. SOME of those jokes were between ME and those guys because of something I said." but she knows em...

god.im so screwed up in the head. why am i still getting all upset about all of that shit? maybe because out of the friend's and LIFE i used to have, i only have 2 left. the girl i was talking about....and her ex-fiance, who is so hung up on her he can't see clearly enough to know she's toying with him...and the fact that he lives 3 hours away and we never talk anymore. so....away goes the first friend, seeing as how it seems like she's TRYING to make me jealous.... and im down to one friend....take away him...cuz he's too busy to even write me a letter....and i'm down to 0 friends.

i do have eric...he's a sweetheart. but of course, currently something's going wrong with that. he might have to move 45 minutes away from me to brown county because he won't have a place to live here soon....and seeing as how that would make my mom SO happy if my world turned on itself again...of course she won't let him stay here until he can get his feet under him. oh, but NO, it's ok if my 16 year old little sister has her boyfriend stay here when HE got kicked out. and then he took my brother's meds and OD'ed and yet my mom STILL let him stay with us another month....not to mention he's here every FUCKING weekend. but my boyfriend can't stay......I HATE HER.

Eva and friends went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Eva fell down and broke her heart and her friends laughed and walked away.

EDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDITEDIT

intake for today and yesterday

yesterday..... nothin, nothin, a ham sandwich w/mayo lit- 200cals, broccoli and chicken-300 cals a pepperoni pizza-errrr600cals..... the beauty of purging? priceless.........

today. half a box of ritz crackers and a hershey almond cookie thingy.....-round about 400 cals? once again...the beauty of purging? priceless....i got rid of everything but the cookie, for some reason it wouldn't come up........ so like, a total of.... myabe 100 cals.

and a bottle of frozened water

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Hey everybody!!!!!!! Long

time, no talk!!!!! Guess what?

My hair is…. SHORT

….as in, like, falling

somewhere between my

ears and the nape of my

neck(it’s layered)…..and is

red! Again….(yes, I

know….a red head who dyes

her hair red, right?

…hehe)…..

No new piercings….

I got my first tattoo

(second, really, but I got the

first removed and THIS time

I didn’t have any

painkillers…and man did it hurt!)

it’s a Gemini

sign outlined in black shaded

and filled in with

red…. Its simple, but pretty

…and I designed

it!!!!!! I got it done for $10

….. heighth is about

ehhhhnnn… 5 inches?

Width is about….3

inches???? At total….

Yeah….but it took 6

hours…………but it was worth it!!!!!

Me and eric are great….

he’s such a sweetie…..

he got me a crystal flower

for valentine’s day…..

and a vase of peach roses

w/ baby’s breath!

Theyre so pretty!!!!!!!!!

I got him a card, a teddy

bear and some rope lights

( yeah I know, weird

present, but I knew he’d

rather have that than

some mushy stuff… lol)

I was a bad girl

(slaps wrist- naughty)….

we went

to texas roadhouse for

v-day….i got a

cheeseburger and some

steakfries….. I only ate

like, 3 or 4 bites of the

burger and about ½ the

fries…. So its not that bad

…… ive lost about 15

lbs in the last 2 weeks

though! Woohoo!!!!!!!

my home life still isnt the greatest...

but...i don't want to talk

about that...

Anyway……….so howre

yall????? Ive missed

everybody!!!!!! Everyone

check in…..

please!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah! My computer is

fixed!!!!!(kinda- im

having problems with the

virus protection stuff

that ive installed, but I’m back online!!!!!

Woohoo!!!!!!!!)