I feel the need to post this quote again, taken from Harpers Magazine 2006. It's completely opposite of what I thought the passion & beauty relationship should be.  How can true beauty be realized without some sort of emotional attachment? at least that's my opinion.  Being in california has a different feel. everyone here is so compeitivie, successful, career oriented and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his/her goal. but-- on the downside, it also gives me a sense of detachment from people.  people are detached from each other unless theirelationship will prove to be beneficiary.  There's no time to waste on making just friends.  It ought to be spent on working, networking or developing business relationships.  I miss the times in high school where people just sit around and talk about nothing. but perhaps-- this is what makes california the best.  In order for one to truly appreciate what this city has to offer, it requires a certain detachement.....

At 27...I never felt lonlier, but I am content.  man that's a scary thing to say...i think i'll be having midlife crisis soon.  Until then, let me stay detached, and dream big......

ok ok i am just being FORCED to show these.....

couple of miami pix:

Fishing trip in Lake Charles

last couple of weeks has been kind of hectic for me. i don't think i have time for xanga anymore, it's getting really boring.  i am just going to post these pictures for my friends and family. you guys probably have already heard the stories from me.

this was our conference at lake charles this past week. to be honest i actually really enjoyed fishing. it's really fun if you catch something. i didn't like our guide as much because he kept on telling us to throw everything back, including catfish.  isn't catfish the most abundant around the area? his excuse was "it doesn't taste good"....whatever, crazy r** n***.

first catch (that i could keep): speckled trout

second catch: an enormous red fish (i wish).  fish that big actually takes some effort to reel in. i got one on the hook but it got away because i got too excited and reeled in too fast.  darn it! still have a lot to learn.  we caught 10 fish in total with 2 of my co workers. 2 reds & 8 trout. too bad we forgot to take it home, it would have been nice to eat your own catch.  this hobby can get quite expensive though.

miami was fun as well, but we could have done without the Pdiddy concert & the car accident. i didn't appreciate seeing a dark shadow over the beautiful beach nor did i appreciate the ruthless stares from no-class and no-manners african americans.  argh i don't like black people for their exasperating attitude!!! if they don't like the US they can go back to africa and see how better off they will be in their own country.  be prepared to die from aids and/or unsanitary environment with an average life expectancy of 35.  in layman terms, n*****s just don't know how to appreciate.  yeah so i am a racist, sue me.

have a good one!

asian vs american ex

i just spoke with an ex recently, since i have so many i am not going to name who. first of all, let me clarify the difference between an 'asian' ex and an 'american' ex.  an asian would be someone who grew up in asia, they speak and write english as good as chinese.  no matter how long they have lived in the US, they're asian at heart.  when they love you, they love you and your family. they take the effort to care for what's important to you. americans are ones whose ideals and values are of course- 'americanized'.  they have little concern for their own parents. it's not that they're cold blooded, but it's just not in their nature to extend their love to what doesn't directly concern them (ie. friends and family). don't get me wrong, americans are definitely more passionate and romantic than asians, generally speaking. but when it comes to relationships, they tend to be a little self centered. actually, the better word is selfish. to an american, the focus is soley on the relationship itself.  friends and family are important, but it's just secondary.  you always have to ask for what you want, take your position and fight for it or you're not going to get it. an american says, "why didn't you ask?" while an asian says, "are you sure you don't need anything else?".  i guess it's another by-product of a capitalistic environment, you sort of develop that it's all about me attitude. but the good thing is- they don't expect you to do whatever they don't do for you...so it's all good right?

well, you see, the biggest difference here is that with an asian ex, you will be friends forever.  there will always be that email or call to see if you, your mom or your sister is doing ok. he already got to know your friends and family personally when you were together, it'd only make sense that he'd express concern towards these people he once cared for, even when things between you two had gone sour. on the other hand, the americanized ex- once you break up, it's a total disconnect.  that all about me attitude starts kicking in, they're concentrating on what they want next, completely disregarding the past.  they never really cared for your family when you were together, why now? 

i really don't mean to ditch americans because there are a lot of positive outlooks for dating one. But at the end of the day....do we really expect a guy to "ai wo ji wo"? do we have to choose between romance and dedicated companionship/loyalty?

why can't we just have it all?

that's the american in me talking again.....