|
| and i'm trying to decide the way it will be
its not for you and its definitely not for me
so why wont the dreams just stop coming
i dont know what i want anymore
this feels like a goddamn greek tragedy
someday, somehow, i'll wait for your return.. we can make this work, i promise | | |
| i know that, as long as i live, i will never be completely fulfilled. no one could ever feel complete, ever. its fucking impossible.. unless you never meet anyone that you truly care about, even if its for some odd reason that your friends or family or even yourself cant understand. its true.. dont tell anybody anything. if you do, you'll start missing everybody, and i definitely miss everyone. its hard to think that, in all the course of time, i'm never going to be back to where i was. you only have one chance at everything.. make every moment you're alive count.. live every day as its the last day in your life... even if life is something you want to forget.. its the only important thing period. that you're alive. just think about it, all that matters is the people you care about- and every single one of those people will someday die. its a depressing way to think about it.. but its the truth. and its scary as hell to think that there's no afterlife, that all there is after this wonderful oppurtunity is dirt. and that's exactly what this is, an oppurtunity. but no matter what you make of it, nothing can alter that only important entity.. life. everyone will die. i'll never be under 18 again, and time does not run in reverse. its the most important think in the world.. to have people actually understand what you're talking about and understand the FEELING that you feel whenever you remember everyone that has had any kind of impact in your life. its hard as hell to think about it. and the past will always be that hole in my soul.. the regrets compounding as i remember everyone that i've met.. even for one fleeting moment.. to understand that that life is another story.. that that person will someday have an ending.. that that person will have amazing moments in their life that i wont even know exist and i wont understand what they're FEELING. you ever have that moment where you taste or smell something that reminds you of your youth and all those million memories of those million amazing moments fly back to you in that millisecond.. its the craziest thing in the world. dammit.. i've lost my train of thought. | | |
| if you cant take the fight out of the kid.. take the kid out of the fight. | | |
| So, I made grades.. huzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzah. I was actually in danger there of going to UCO. Very close, made a 3.46.. needed a 3.25 to stay.. very awesome indeed.. so pumped.
On a completely different note... Joining a fraternity is pretty much the best thing that i've ever done- words cannot describe. I'm just trying to think of where i would be right now if it wasnt for 48 amazing other guys there for me regardless of how bad i fuck up. The scary thing is how much of an impulsive decision it was to join in the first place, and if it hadn't been for sheer luck, i'd be completely miserable instead of completely ecstatic. Kind of mind blowing when you think about it. I highly recommend the greek life to everyone out there.
Once more, on a completely different note- Today, I slept til 1 after some 4 am night fishing with baker, kimmy and jeremiah.. i got to sleep in in my own bed for the first time since my knee injury.. and took it easy and chilled with the fam for the day.. man it was sweet..
The knee sucks. Actually, it's looking pretty good and such.. but my doctor doesnt think i'll be able to play in three weeks.. and i still cant drive. I dont know what i'll do if i cant play at my last year of club state. .. dont really want to think about it =/
but hey, here's a real post for all you rail commenters
tyler
| | |
|
