|
| panic attack
I hate it when this happens. It drains all of my energy from my body in
an instant. I was watching Man vs Wild, and I started to have a panic
attack. I have this extreme fear of death, and something in the episode
sparked it. I can usually block it out, but crazy thoughts started to
flood my head. I thought of what would happen after I died, the life I
would leave behind... how I can't help when it happens, no one knows. I
suppose it's mostly a fear of the unknown that I have. I couldn't
breathe, my heart was pounding in my chest, I cried.... I was walking
around my apartment like a madwoman. I probably would have screamed if
my roomate wasn't soundly sleeping. I didn't know how to control it....
I don't know how to deal with it. I wish I could count on religion, a
counselor, something.. but I don't know where to go with it, who to
turn to. This is something that very VERY few people know about, not
even my family knows. My chest still hurts, but my breathing is under
control now. I think I need to talk to more people about it, because I
never know who to turn to when it happens. It's been happening since
eighth grade, and it just keeps getting more frequent and out of
control. I think I'm going to drink some water and get some sleep. Or
try to anyway. | | |
| I really should write in this thing more, but I'm more of a livejournal person... add me
I'm also neighborchick :)
| | |
| I MISS SAMANTHA SMITH!!!!!! I really do. I miss hanging out with one of my only sober friends at school. I want to go back to Denverrrr. Denver is the best, and I decided that I want to live there for the rest of my life, giving up the dream of living on the beach. Yes, I gave it up for Denver because DENVER IS AMAZING!
ps I'm not coming back to Whittier in the fall
Shippensburg
| | |
| WOW. Over six months since my last update. I'm good, I'm good.....
Something to read... Let's see. I'm in Pennsylvania until February 4th, then I'm off to Denver for a few days and staying at my super cool friend Sam's house!! She really rocks my socks. I've never been to Colorade before, so I'm pretty stoked. Especially because there is snow there, and NO SNOW IN CARLISLE!
Ugh. So that's about it. | | |
| so, this is life. it's going all right, not too shabby. i've been so busy lately, i just have NO IDEA what to do with myself when i come home and have nothing do.... school, lacrosse, family, friends, chico <3, you know.. i just don't have time for it all. i dont even have time to write a decent entry in here, because its after ten and i need a shower. badly
| | |
|
