| Epilogue
If my story ended today, this would be the last page/few pages, set after the traditional ending. The opaque narrative that tells the reader, yet again, who I am. Who I was. The existance of the words before your eyes proves that this is, in fact, the end of an era. I've never been good at endings, but bear with me, as my awkward goodbyes are always heartfelt.
I hope you've enjoyed this two-year trek through my heart. If you've been paying attention, you've seen me grow. You've seen the change of relationship between myself and my first love - from awkward, childish ideas to a true friendship, unlike any other that I have. You may have seen the way I am willing to sacrifice everything I know for hope. For imaginary girls. For anyone who just might make me feel less alone. I still wish you didn't make all those promises.
I've learned, however, that just as those predictable words will admit, "Home is where the heart is." I've learned a lot about home lately. My discontent will not be cured as long as I'm here, on Earth, that is. My True Home is too potent in my mind to ever truly find solace in this place. But knowing this, I've decided not to run away, for now. The new apartment, with John and Adam is far nicer than we should be able to afford. If only we could talk Eric into joining us. Perhaps we will.
The Soulfest 2004 - the last bit of adventure that I'll include in my story was fitting, to say the least. On the side of a New Hampshire mountain, I gathered my supporting cast (most of them, at least) and celebrated our love in an Oscar-worthy performance. Eric, Amanda, Adam, Ashley, both Karens, Christian, Emilee, Tessa, Frankie, Nicole, Kenny and Hilary (along with her mom and sister) piled into tents, truck beds and even an air mattress in the grass to sleep. Our days were spent watching the 5 stages host bands with various motives. Some came to worship. Some came to sell merch. Some came to smile at fans. Some came to meet bigger bands. Some came to become one of those bigger bands. Congratulations to the few good bands: Beehive Trumpet Jumpers, Holland, Mutemath, Adelade, Third Day, Bleach. Eric and I completed the transition of Fans-Acquaintences-Friends with the boys (and girl) in Phinehas. They spent two nights in our tents, and we spent two days moshing with them. I accidentally heard a man named Justin McRoberts. Just him and his acoustic guitar. I had no idea there were woship leaders like this. No idea. He made me cry twice. Jars of Clay's set ended appropriately with a downpour. I've seen some good rain in my day, but this was absurd... So after drying off, I climbed into a tent and listened to the delayed Newsboys concert with Ashley, Karen and Nicole.
Adam, Ashley, Dave from Phinehas and I shared a tent that night. I kissed the prettiest girl I know. I can say that with confidence because I doubt she'll read this, but I also say it with reservation because I suppose it could also upset some hopelessly desperate girls who just can't let go.
Relient K was having some sort of a party on stage, which is normally entertaining, but I was hardly in the mood. Just before their set, I had come walking, rather slowly, from the "Soul Revolution Stage," where Cool Hand Luke had just finished playing. I have never been touched by someone's heart as I was by Mark Nicks, their lead singer. He has the same sort of humble, child-like soul that I found in Aaron of Mewithout You. His words, and his very presence - as he reflected Christ - changed everything about me, which, of course, brings us back to the point. The era of neonstitches has come to an end. That name has meaning, and here it is: The stitches are an attempt to heal my divided heart and the neon was the bright, avoidant appearance that covered the story, hiding who I really was. This name is obsolete, the healing has begun, and on top of that, I don't feel like lying anymore.
Thank you for your time, this site will no longer be updated. This story has come to a close.
Feel free, however, to read the sequel. |
