In the past couple weeks, I have been asked by two different bosses at work on two different occassions, "What drives you?" or "Is your heart in it?"    Don't worry I'm not in trouble at work, and while I have specific things to improve on, everything is okay and positive from a long-term trajectory.

But these questions have fueled my ongoing efforts to clarify God's purpose for me in my life and especially in the here and now.  For those of you who know me, you may know that I have become more and more open to whatever God has in store for me, even if it means giving up everything I currently know for something I have no experience in.

I do not know the full answer of what I am supposed to do.  This entry will not reveal such answers.  But at the end of the day, I do know what drives me and what my heart is in.  My heart is for the things that God cares about and for the ways He is working in this world, from Central Square to central Africa.  What ultimately drives me is to know that He is using me to further His kingdom for all of His people.

I spend the majority of my day looking to invest in companies that will succeed and win in an increasingly globalized world and economy.  We just invested in a global provider of security services to governments, companies, NGOs, etc.  And as there becomes increasing attention to protecting people, information, and critical infrastructure, we think this company will do well.   Much has been written about how the economy is evolving, the world is flattening, and borders are disappearing in this new world order.  And we look for companies that will take advantage of these trends.

But the reality is that for so many there are still real, harsh impenetrable borders that limit opportunities for people to thrive but also simply to survive.  I realize that I could write about immigration into the US, inequities of globalization for some developing countries, etc.  But today what grips me is the harsh realities faced by my N. Korean brothers and sisters.

I just finished watching Seoul Train, a documentary revealing the stories of N. Korean refugees in China.  The movie has been out for a number of years, and I have heard of many of the events that were described in the film.  But this was the first time I sat through and watched the entire movie.

I don't really know what to say except be frustrated, angry, upset, sorrowful, pained.  We live in a world where without a passport, I can virtually visit countries across the globe through GoogleEarth, talk to friends in africa through skype - but for others, it is still a place where a physical border separates opportunity from starvation, freedom from oppression, life from death.  N. Koreans are dying from hunger simply because of where they are born and for no other reason.  And even when they escape that place and cross one border to a country that is one of the new powers in this globalized economy - where cranes are erecting massive skyscrapers day and night, where foreign investment is flooding in, where excitement is building about the upcoming Olympic games - they cannot find true safety...until they cross yet another border or two.

The S. Korean government refrains from helping too much because they fear at what the collapse of the N. Korean border will mean for their economy.  And while I do not want to oversimplify their policy position or disregard the real implications of such an event, how many lives are worth the price to maintain economic stability?  How many deaths are we willing to tolerate so that we can all enjoy and find success in the growing globalized economy that is good for all of us?

This is not meant to be preachy, and I apologize if it is so - these are just some personal reflections, and if anything I am preaching to my own heart.  I know some of you will quickly encourage me to get involved.  And others will note that there are ways to get involved in organizations like LiNK without necessarily quitting my day job right away.

As I said before, I am open to all of that - and not just open but moved to act.

It is at times like this where I must come humbly before my King and seek His wisdom and mercy and grace.  Because I for one cannot understand the injustice and inequities in this world.  I cannot understand why I should be so blessed to live in this country where the borders truly do seem nonexistent - where opportunity seems endless.  I cannot understand why I should be doing what I am doing (believing that I am blessed with my current job for a reason).  His ways are higher than my ways.

And it is in times like this that I pray and plead for my brothers and sisters - that He would save them and redeem them.  And that I volunteer to be sent to do whatever He desires for me for His work.  But it is also in times like this that I fall into His arms knowing that He is redeeming the entire world - that His kingdom knows no borders - that Christ reigns supreme over all.  And that I know I worship a good God and that though I cannot understand why some must die and I am alive...He is worthy to be praised.

The faith of those refugees in the film Seoul Train on the eve of their journey from China into Mongolia - that even as they face potential death they could praise and trust in God - gives me a bit more faith and hope in the one and only Lord and Savior.