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ngo_si_sui
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Name: Ruth
Birthday: 9/1/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: would have to be FBI agent. or was it biomedical engineer? or professional student? or wife and mother? or movie director? or math professor? or EMT? or business manager? or writer? or... i think you get the picture :)
Message: message me
AIM:  halfdozofother
Member Since:
9/6/2004
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| Check out my 'publishing' of my book, "Stardust: What Dreams are Made of". You can subscribe to it and be notified when I post a new chapter... and yes, I do understand I'm not supposed to end sentences with prepositions.  | | |
| I have found a Xanga name which I prefer to the esoteric ngo_si_sui and which should be easier for y'all to remember... tinkblink | | |
| Good morning, Earth...
The sun is shinning, the office is clean, and I've accomplished WAY more in the past 24 hours than I ever dreamed possible!!!!!!
From a 3x4 whiteboard covered with To-Dos to a plethora of completed/instigated projects... life is feeling really strawberry right now. :)
A word to the wise... procrastination is fear of success. And don't say you'll talk to me about it later. It CAN be gotten rid of!
'Nuff posting for now... I'll do something in-depth latah. | | |
| Have any of you been introduced to the concept of the One-Year Bible [OYB]? If not, I have found it is an awesome solution to the dilemma of 'what do I read today?' Plus, if you miss a day of reading, it's really easy to catch back up.
But that's not my topic for today. :) The past few days have been extremely rough on many different levels. Most of my problems, I've discovered, seem to stem from a ludicrous desire to keep all my problems to myself and not give them to God. This causes such unmittigated inner turmoil that it's a wonder I fight so hard to hang onto my turmoil monkeys!
Without elaborating on the grusome details, I gave my largest source of worry/concern/etc to God [as I was driving to Subway, if you must know]. The only way we can clearly hear from God about any issue of interest is if we have prayed until we have no personal preference in the matter, wanting ONLY God's will. Regarding this issue, I had not previously been able to actually pray a 'no preference' prayer because I had such deep-seated preferences.
I felt relief after I'd prayed and really submitted to accepting whatever God's election should be... but, having other areas to deal with still, I needed to connect with God a bit more. It occurred to me that I would look and see if the day's reading from my OYB would carry some spirit-lifting message. Breathing a prayer that it would, I opened to August 8 and flipped to the Psalm excerpt. What I read flooded me with joy. Then I noticed that it was only part of the Psalm. Curious, I flipped ahead to today's entry. What I read there had me stamping on the floor, laughing out loud, and generally acting silly.
It is the text there, with my interjections, which I'd like to share now. :)
Psalm 27:1-7
[okay... not really any comment here except that if you subtract 1 through 7 from 27, you end up with -1, not really important]
1. The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
[fear has been a motivating factor with me, preventing me from unconditionally accepting whatever plans God has for me... kinda stupid 'cause His plans are FAR better than I could ever imagine!]
2. When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
[the Bible promises that 'no weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper' and also points out that our enemies are not physical, but spiritual. And if you've ever been caught up in an intense spiritual attack, you know that sometimes it litterally feels as if you're being physically torn apart... not fun!]
3. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart whall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.
[okay... again, we're not to be afraid. If God is our strength, courage mounteth with the occaision]
4. One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.
[how much more protection and love could we possibly ask for if we are living in our Father's house, basking in his majesty, and asking Him for answers to our every question???]
5. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.
[aha! We don't have to deal with ANYTHING as His children. If we ask, He'll pick us up and stand us on a rock; above, firmly planted, and separate from destructive forces. Not to mention we'll be invisible to the evil forces.]
6. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.
[and what's not to sing about?! He's put us in a preferred position and how must we respond? By offering SACRIFICES of praise... this does not mean to do so if we are already full of joy and love for God. This is what we must do REGARDLESS of how we FEEL. 'In EVERYTHING give thanks' we are commanded. Why? Because it's God's request!]
7. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.
[I can't begin to tell you how many times I've litterally cried out with my voice, how many times I've starred at the heavens and screamed at God to answer. Out of my frustration was born the realization, God ALWAYS answers. Sometimes 'yes,' sometimes 'no,' sometimes 'wait for it.' It's the 'wait for it' that always gets me!]
8. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
[basic command coupled with obedience]
9. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
[is this sounding familiar?? Have you prayed this prayer before? I know I have... many times, with tears of despiration and anguish of soul]
10. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
[I'll tell you what, the moment your father AND your mother forsake you, you cannot be possbily more alone. But God will be there, regardless of whether or not anyone else cares for us.]
11. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
[this is almost exactly the prayer I prayed and continue to pray. I want the path to be plain, but it can't be plain if it's littered with my own preferences. The Lord can't teach me His way if I'm hell-bent (no pun intended) on doing things my way. Deep thoughts, yes?]
12. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
[it's far better to fall into the hands of God then into the hands of man or the devil!]
13. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
[this was true... I was tired of fighting, so very very tired. I couldn't go on. I had no strength left to deal with my life. I wanted to stop the world and get off (as if that would solve anything). But burried deep inside was the knowledge that God had performed wonders before with issues I'd given to Him to work with; actual, solid evidence. I don't know why I have to get so low before I ask for God's help... pride, I guess.]
14. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.
[and that was the verse that had me skipping about the room like a madman. I burst out laughing as I recognized my life's struggle. Only recently has it become clear to me what my main struggle in life is: I'm impatient, I want things, not now, but yesterday. The motto God has given to me lately is 'Wait for it.' Three simple words spelling out the longest sentence. Reading this, on that day, at that moment, with the mountain of my past history became the final straw that collapsed my mountain of fear, impatience and disbelief.
I do not say the battle is over... quite contrary, it has just begun. The battle to give God my concerns/worries/issues/griefs. To let Him manage my shelf of stuff. He's capable, I'm not. The sooner I realize that and yield to His sway, the better life will become. How's that? Because I won't have to fall to the 'depths of dispair' with every new challenge. Because I will be able to hand over stuff to God BEFORE it becomes an issue.
Let that be your challenge as well... Give God your gruesome garbage; He knows what to do with it! :) | | |
| I wished to write something,
to share some speck of random wit.
I could not think clearly,
but thought to share this little bit.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ode to The Elusive Strawberry
Strawberries are elusive,
much more than you'd think
hiding then mocking your search
soft lumps in your drink
Clogging the straw with intent,
their power wielding;
fighting with unseeming strength,
suddenly yielding
Your mouth weary from suction,
cup finally drains.
Take off the lid revealing
some berries' remains
Excitement prevails as you
discard lid and straw,
'berries fall from tilted cup,
a taste without flaw
Put the cup down with a sigh
thinking work's all done.
Until a glance at that cup
reveals you've missed one!
Tilt the cup back, slap it hard;
dislodge that 'berry!
But's firmly stuck, straw's been tossed...
that's not fair, very!
Fighting starts now in earnest
no other compares;
battle 'tween man and berry,
faint-hearted it scares
Torn from its comfort, making
satisfying plop
the elusive strawberry
breaks loose with a flop
Filling your mouth with sweetness
of strawberry slime;
'til next time you're challenged:
victory sublime! | | |
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