| | - pieces ok so i am just me... and that is all i can be... i dont like being judged but i dont truely spend time giving a damn what people think of me... i am black, but i act more like a white person... the previous line just means i an responsible, make good money, speak somewhat properly, and listen to mostly alternative, industrial and heavy metal music, and i am gonna take care of my kid when he gets here instead of bein a broke ass loser who dumps his kid with its mother and never supports it...
im a straight talker who doesnt mind offending people, in fact sometimes i fucking enjoy offending people... i believe that people need to stop being so damn easily offended, so what i kicked ur infant when they were tryin to learn to walk, they would've tripped eventially neway...
im bipolar, aparently very bipolar, my moods change like a pre menstrial fourteen year old, and i appear to have a borderline personality disorder... i can be happy one second and mad, sad, angry, depressed, homicidal, or even suicidal the next... i have thought many times about killing myself, graphically, in detail, ive come seconds away from doing it, never followed through though, im such a fuckup sometimes i dont think i could handle screwing up killing myself... i have incredibally low self esteem, and most of the time i think that i am shit... but i overcompensate these feelings when they're around by pretending i think highly of myself, or focusing on the few things that i know that i can do well... in slight relation to that i am a sex freak... i would say that i am a sex addict but im not addicted, but i would like to be...
my first time was with someone i didnt care at all about besides the fact that she was a friend of mine, i only fucked her cause she wanted to, and it made me feel special that she wanted to fuck me, then i learned she was a slut, but of well i got off.... right???
i dont like people, people annoy me easily, the few people i dont find instantly annoying are usually also the only people who dont instantly find me annoying... but even then i usually believe that they want something from me and that is the only reason they come around me untill i really get to know them... been walked on quite a bit...
i have a fuck the world attitude, but oh well fuck the world if they care... i believe in god, and his son jesus christ... i love them both in my own way, but i believe that god has a sick sence of humor... i have hardcore morals, but they aint christian ones... ive drink, never done drugs, but i might at some point, i have problems believeing in reasons to regret things, whats done is done... ive had more fuck buddies then lovers... my real name is Robert, but i dont use it, i hate that name and the person i used to be when i used to go by it... so now i dont answer when people call me it... i go by Niko, robert is dead, and thank god for that... he was a loser...
i have no shame, if u want to know anything about me just ask... the little kid in the pic is my nephew not my son... hes a cute little boy... i hope my baby has his personality...
i have a problem thinking linerally (as in in a straight line) but that comes with the disease... so fuck it... i am almost never happy, no matter how i look or act... i am merely sometimes less unhappy then others, or less willing to die...
other then that im completely normal...
i openened my eyes to the world and cried becasue i hated what i saw and who i was, so i closed my eyes embraced the darkness and found peace and clarity for the first time in my miserable life... |
