| | cursed againhavent been in the mood to hide from society for a while... its an unfamiliar feeling that i thought wasnt a part of me anymore but here it is... plaguing my existence like a bleak and searing torturous festering sore inside of me blackening out my heart from the dim light it took so long to build inside of myself i hate myself with every bit of myself... i wish so hard i could be anybody in this sick sad world but me but every time i wake from my coma slumber i am still me, i am nobody, i am nothing.... what does one do when they wake up from their happiness and find themselves back in their same old sorrow??? what do you do when you remember you want to die, when you remember the oh so familiar feeling of pain??? im so sick of the teeter totter bullshit existence so sick of the ups and down... and at the same time i realize its all part of the plan, just another part of the sick fucking joke that is life on this shithole of a planet... we are guaranteed nothing but death for all our hard work... fuck it all, fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything you pretend to believe in, belief will just give you feelings of betrayal... the tao is the way, the way of life, the way of death, the secrets to nature, of balance but balance is the problem sometimes... all i had was all i wanted, and now all i have is slipping through the hourglass, waiting to be reset and flipped over again... they say the truth shall set you free, but its just another lie, the truth will just serve as a death note, the truth just shows how trapped we all are in this world of pain and suffering and hollow self righteousness... be who you want to be??? how??? all i want is to not be me... all i want is not to breathe... god save your tortured child... have mercy on my black soul... let me have back the light you stole from me you sick bastard...
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| | Posted 6/30/2007 9:27 PM - 2 comments
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