nmciver13's Xanga

I may be saying fairwell...

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 23:18:33 GMT

This is sad to say, but I think I have no use for xanga anymore. I haven't posted forever and it seems that most posts from anyone that still uses this consist of "Wow, I haven't posted for a while. Nothing's new. How is everyone?" or "Here's a quote from something that I think is cool, but most people will only humor me by saying 'Nice quote'." I do miss blogging. It was such a stress reliever at times. But I am such an attention whore that if no one commented then I was bummed out. I guess I should really focus all that blogging energy on writing, which is something I never do anymore. Plus, I'm so not used to how xanga works now with the changes that have been made. Dang, now I feel like an old fart complaining about change. Well, I thought this was going to be one of those "Fair well and goodnight" type posts, but I rambled a bit. Maybe I'll post again in a few months... but what's the use. Facebook is the new fad. And then that will get old and something new will come up. Seriously, I should just write an editorial or a book or something instead. We shall see...

Fair well and goodnight.

Christmas cheer?

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:34:37 GMT

so, this time of year i am always more and more excited as it gets closer to christmas. but not this year. i don't know why. i think i might be depressed. it's not fair, you know? this is my time of year, for crying out loud! what really sucks is that i don't know why i feel this way. i think i could handle it better if i had something to blame it on. i mean, i've got ideas, but all that tells me is there are several things that could be wrong with my life... or other peoples' lives for that matter. what makes me feel worse is that i've really got everything i need right now. i have a place to live, a good paying job (although i hate being a cubical monkey), a family that loves me, great friends, and good health. why, why, why? that's all i've got; questions. yeah, there's things i want that i don't have in my life, but is wanting something really a valid reason to be down around christmas time? i mean, i don't have to go back to work until monday, so i should be happy about having a four day weekend, but all i can think is how there's nothing good about life right now! don't take that the wrong way. i'm not suicidal or anything. it's not that kind of depression; i just feel empty. and before anyone says that maybe i should pray about it, i've been going round and round with God on this one for months! all i can get from Him is that i need to hang in there and that maybe i need to give more of myself. and now i feel like a selfish crybaby because i can think of at least two other people right now that actually have something to feel depressed about, so that's just great. seriously, i can't wrap my mind around this, so if anyone has any suggestions on how to get out of this, i'm all ears. i just want to be happy and i'm tired of acting like i'm ok around everyone. this sucks...

filler...

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 03:25:15 GMT

ok, so since i have faltered like everyone else and neglected my xanga i'll put up this bit o' nonsense. i stole it from many others, so here ya go:

names gallore

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (pet & current car)
Barkley Camaro

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie),

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Peanut Butter (boo...)

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
N McI (also boo...)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Green Dog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born
Reed Frankfort

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
McIni

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink)
The Black Surge

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)

Alvin James

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ),

Jo Reed

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter),

Sweet San Diego (ha!)

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season, flower).
Spring Tulip (gag me...)

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Strawberry Jeansie

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Nothing Weeping Willow

ok, so that was dumb. wanna see something else dumb? here's a picture of my managers dog from halloween!

yup. well, life has been crazy this past month or so, but i won't go into all that here. i don't really feel like this is the place for that anymore. this really was a waste of time, but i hope you enjoy!

if emoticons could appear in the title, you'd see a sad face here...

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:55:20 GMT

attention anyone who believes in the power of prayer. there's a couple in my family that is having problems in their marriage. i've already talked to some of you about it, but it just seems to be getting worse. currently, the situation is that she has almost entirely moved out and won't really tell him why. there is so much sadness and confusion. please, please keep these two in your prayers. no one knows what to expect right now. even a month ago, everything seemed normal and now she's gone. i'm praying that this will not result in divorce, but i'm not sure if there's any way to repair the damage that's been done by the lack of communication. to be honest, i'm scared and it's really affecting my daily life as well. so i beg you, please keep my family, especially these two, in your prayers. hopefully, God will soften her heart enough that she will be willing to talk to him and he will realize what caused this whole mess. on the bright side, if they can survive this, maybe this experience will strengthen their marriage. but it's killing us all right now...

i love college sports!

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 03:41:12 GMT

guess who's awesome!

dang, i wish i had espn classic...

...

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 14:57:43 GMT

as i sit here staring at a nearly blank computer screen, i wonder what exactly i should type. i feel that i, like many others before me, have neglected xanga. "why", i wonder... but i can't find an exact answer. maybe my life is less exciting than it's been in years past, maybe i've been lured away by facebook, maybe it's because i'm pretty sure that only a handful of people will even read this and even less will respond, or maybe it's just that the newness of having a blog has wasted away and given rule to apathy. i don't know the real reason, but i hope that before i hit "save changes" at the bottom of the screen, something worthwhile will be shared. if not, at least i may have given you something a little amusing to read.

first off, i am now at the halfway point in my training at fidelity. i keep hoping that we are going to reach the point soon where there's not any more new information to learn and we get started on making ourselves comfortable with maneuvering the computer system and assisting customers. we take our first phone calls on friday. this sounds like no big deal, but that is the entire basis of my job! i will be on the phones 90% of the day! i'm a little nervous, but not nearly as much as i probably will be on friday. this is going to be such a great job, though. i'm so happy to finally be doing something worthwhile for my career. (plus, after a while the money should be pretty nice too!)

so i found this website called pandora.com; if you haven't ever heard of it, you should check it out. it's a great way to find new music! you just type in the names of songs or musicians you like and it creates a radio station for you of similar music. you pick and choose what you like or dislike and it customizes the station to your tastes! i've got several different personalized radio stations saved on there. it's great! plus it's free and you get to listen to entire songs, not just clips of them.

i went camping with megan and mindy last weekend. megan's church went to this farm in grant county. it was fun... even though we got lost in the woods for a few hours. they had to send a truck to find us. how embarrassing! it was still great fun, though. camp food is the best! and there were dogs everywhere! if there's one thing i love it's food; if there's two things i love, it's food and dogs! (yes, i love plenty of other things too, but you know what i mean.)

i went to see superbad last night with adam, jamie, cheryl, serina, and serina's boyfriend. it was hilarious! (not a good movie if you are easily offended by the gratuitous use of certain "f" and "p" words.) i haven't seen cheryl or serina in for freaking ever, so it was really good to get to hang out with them... even if we didn't really get to talk much.

i think i'm going to start going to eastside christian church for a bit. i know i've talked about it several times before, but i really need to find a church home. i mean it; this is ridiculous how long i've talked about this and i still haven't started seriously looking. don't get me wrong, i still go to church. i usually go to crossroads, but for some reason (even though i love their worship services) i just don't feel like i can plant my roots there, you know? i mean there's plenty of service opportunities, but it still just doesn't seem like the right fit. i know i've asked before, but if you'll keep me in your prayers over this, that would be great!

well, that's about all i can think of for now. i guess i'll go back to watching looney tunes and doing laundry. tim is having people over on sunday for a pay per view, if you didn't already know about it. i'll see you all there!

web-junk stolen from harry... which was bootlegged from andrea

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 07:05:30 GMT

i just gotta share this brilliant piece of artwork that brian harmon created at bill's expense. way to go, buddy!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5350480812744458882&q=bill+clone+boogie&pr=goog-sl

enjoy!

one week later...

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 01:11:16 GMT

so, i'm back from virginia! admit it, you missed me. that's ok. i can bask in the glow of your admiration for me a little longer with out getting a sunburn. it was a great trip; but as with any trip, i'm glad to be back. i ate so much good food while on vacation, but now i think it's time for a diet. it's also time to start reading harry potter. yeah, it's taken me a while, but i'm gonna get the first book pretty soon.

so, i've only got one week left at the bookstore. hooraye! then i start six weeks of training at fidelity. i'm sooper-dooper (yes, i spelled that wrong on purpose) excited... but still a little nervous. this is a new feeling for me because usually, when i experience a big change in my life, i get really nervous and almost sick to my stomach. i just want to run because i just don't like change. this is good, though. this is a good change. i want more change like this. i just gotta get my act straight and start moving in the right direction in other areas of my life instead of going the wrong way... especially when i already know it's the wrong way.

last thing i'll mention in this thingy: church today was awesome. it really hit home to me how important it is to help people... or even just do something nice for someone every now and then. "when you do this for the least of these, my breatheren, you are doing this for me." if you have an extra dollar when you pass a tip jar, put that dollar in it! if you find out that someone can't pay their bills, see if you can get some people together to help out. write an anonymous letter to someone to let them know how much you appreciate them. do any little (or big) thing to show love. i'm kicking around an idea in my head of trying to set up some kind of network of people to do random nice things for other people. (maybe even to help those who really need it.) it's a rough idea... (the name that came to mind is wretched saint). i'm thinking of setting up some kind of facebook group to use to connect people maybe to set up anonymous prayer requests, report a need, or maybe to organize some random acts of kindness kind of thing. i can't do it on my own, so if no one's interested, this whole idea's a bust. i still will try to change the way i live by being kinder to people, but think how much that could be accomplished if a large number of people joined together. if you have any suggestions, contact me however you know how. i don't want this to be like any of the other inspirations i've gotten in church. this fire shouldn't sputter out.

peace, love, and a map so you don't get lost in virginia (that's for sick little steph),

nick

over the threshold; step one

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 03:44:07 GMT

so, on saturday i will be leaving with adam and jamie to meet the rest of my family in sunny virginia for a relaxing one week vacation. we will be staying in williamsburg for part of the week and virginia beach for the other part. it is a much needed escape from my life (work, responsibility, finances... stuff). i am very excited and very blessed to have such a wonderful family in which to spend this time with. after that, i will return to family christian stores... for one week only. let it be known that as of august 6, nick mciver will no longer be a peg in the retail cog. i have earned my pardon. i will now be going corporate (and on this side of the river no less!) i will be working in the land of milk and honey (yup, that is northern kentucky.) the world where the grass is greener, getting lost is much more difficult, and the sales tax is slightly less. i have been hired as a 401k specialist for fidelity investments! this is the first step in actually achieving a life that seems more real, more significant, more... happy. i know money isn't everything and it can't buy what really matters, but it sure does make life a little sweeter! i'm not sure if many people will see this. unfortunately, it seems moses' exodus has been performed upon poor ol' xanga and folks have move on to greener pastures (facebook). sadly, i do not know how to post stuff like this on there (and i'll be danged if i do it on myspace! that thing sucks!) thank you to everyone who has helped me through the past few years. hopefully i will be able to pay you all back someday soon... and then give back more. i know my financial struggle is not over, but the quicksand has gotten a little more stable. now i just gotta focus on my next two goals to achieve a better life. pinocchio is becoming a real boy!

p.s. - if you would be interested in becoming the inventory control specialist for family christian store in eastgate, please let me know and i'll get you an interview set up!

sex god

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 00:19:02 GMT

yes, you read the title correctly (so i put the picture up to prove i was talking about a book and not describing myself!)

it has been a long, LONG time since i've been so moved by something that i've felt the need to post about it on xanga. it has been far too long in fact. however, all the other times came from an experience at church or a bible study. this time, a book has blown my mind. the title is sex god by rob bell. for those of you that don't know, he's the same guy that does all those nooma videos and wrote the book velvet elvis. in short, he's pretty cool.

over the past few years, i've started getting into reading and even though i would sometimes say that a book i read was "life changing" i never really meant it. i only said that to make fun of people who seriously used such a phrase. in my small mind, i thought nothing so simple as a book or a tv show or a movie could change somebody's life. well, nothing is too difficult for God, i guess! (people do still overuse that phrase, though.)

i am only on the fourth chapter of this book (no small feet, mind you since i just started reading today) and i already feel like rob bell is sitting there, watching "nick mciver, this is your life", and narrating where i went wrong! there is just so much truth and light in this book, it's astounding. primarily, sex god addresses how we view each other and interact with each other and how these things make us less human and therefor less like God. it's not just talking about the act of having sex, it's talking about repression, lust, overindulgence, underindulgence, honesty, communication... there's alot of stuff in this thing! (and the funny part, is it's not even gross... at least not yet.) it's difficult for me to explain, since my eyes have been opened on such a personal level, as to why everyone should read this and how it's not just some icky sex book.

"how you treat the creation reflects how you feel about the creator." this one sentence struck me so hard that i literally stood up and pulled a keanu reeves! i am in no way a pig or a womanizer or a pervert, but i realize now that i've treated the girls i date or am attracted to as objects. i don't mean to (and up until now, i was sure that i didn't do that), but i do. i have sabotaged every relationship or almost-relationship i have ever been in because i have either been too physically attracted to a girl or not enough. it's always been black and white. i've always judged girls based on what they look like first and foremost and that's why i get so freaking nervous and awkward when it comes to talking or going out on a date. i suck at both of those! i have never really gotten to know a girl first before we started sucking face. not cool... we are all God's children; we are His creation and by only observing what's on the outside, i'm essentially telling God i don't give a crap about why He loves this person!

ok, i just deleted a bunch of stuff because i realized that this was going to become one big mother of a post. also, i didn't want you to think i was specifically talking about anything as intimidating as sex, pornography, or any of that other stuff that's just taboo. this book is really about how we relate to each other and how that reflects how we relate with God. basically, i just wanted to encourage everybody to read this. i feel like my life is changing. it hasn't changed yet. it's a process. i just pray that i can learn and not forget. i hope all this made since. i hope that i have already apologized to any woman i have hurt along the way when i was so blind. if not, just find me and give me a swift kick to the nuts. i think i'll get the picture.