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noiseandromance
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Name: Rachel
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Diego
Gender: Female
Interests: change. love. satisfying conversation. daydreaming. jesus. the arts. being real. paris. liberalism. meeting people. cesar milan. prayer. neutral colors. laughter.
Currently Reading:
Sex God [Rob Bell]
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  n0iseandr0mance
Member Since:
12/16/2005
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| I have been searching for something in my relationship with Rick, and I have been praying about it and, THANK GOD He has answered my prayers!
Can I just say that I am SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY! This man is amazing.
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| Aujourd'hui est une belle journée.I resisted the temptation to keep hitting the snooze button and dragged myself to campus at an ungodly hour to talk to my French professor. I gave her my paper proposal for the end of the quarter, and to my surprise, she was actually impressed with what I came up with. She didn't seem to mind my broken French, and could even understand what the heck I was talking about. :) oh, BJ Novak from The Office is speaking on campus tonight. It will be great. | | |
| Jealousy is so nasty. That pit in my stomach that I get when I see something that I wish someone else didn't have. That's jealousy and its ugly. There are some things in life that we were meant to have, and other things that we were not meant to have. I just get so frustrated when people get things that they seemingly don't deserve. Why does life work out so well for those people? The other thing I discovered today is that Facebook is a cesspool for jealousy. Every time I log on its like a bombardment of pictures from events I didn't attend, updates on who's friends with who, wall posts that have nothing to do with me. Instead of feeling happy that all these things are going on around me I feel jealous that I'm not a part of it. Why?? I feel so selfish sometimes. There needs to be a Facebook anonymous group, I'm pretty sure.
I also did everything under the sun today too and am learning hands on that whoever said "take it one day at a time" was pure genius. There are things in life that I want to experience NOW but am learning that there is a time and place for everything. And, if I tried to do all those things NOW my head would explode.
I called my mom yesterday and told her of some new opportunities on the horizon. I prefaced this with explaining that my plans change daily, but I was really sure these ones were going to stick...Alas, those have changed yet again today. I have a few internships that I want to apply for, and I'm hoping that I will get at least one of them so I will not be a bum in Long Beach once I leave my job. I must remember that God has perfect timing.
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| Let's be honest. I pretty much gave up on online blogging. I don't have a good reason, nor did I have a good alternative but having been recently inspired by a friend's blog, its time to have a ressurection. Since the last post, I have successfully navigated through my first year at UCLA and have managed to stay head above water for 2/3 of my last year here. I now live in an AMAZING apartment that i'm pretty sure I'll end up crying over when we are forced to move out, I have/had four great roommates this year who i'm pretty sure have changed my life, Rick and I are still together, and we now have the new addition of a puppy named Nick. Life moves SO quickly. I remember as a kid thinking "when I'm 21..." assuming that it was SO FAR OFF, and yet, it is here and about to pass. I also remember thinking that when someone graduates college that it automatically means they know what their life is about. Wrong. In fact, that is the topic that plagues my thoughts just about everyday. I am praying that God can slow down time, at least for a little while, and help clarify what the heck I am supposed to do in this crazy-hard-beautiful adventure. Graduation is in a month and a half, and any semblance of a concrete plan changes from day to day. I guess I am just a big ball of questions. At any rate, my goals for this next year are to love people, love myself, make some sort of difference, not neglect feeding or walking my dog, appreciate my partner, apply/get into grad school, spend time with friends, and love jesus. I think that's a good plan, at least for today anyway. to be continued... | | |
| ok, so its been an eternity since I last wrote and A LOT has happened since.
For starters, I have successfully moved to LA and am living in Westwood and going to UCLA. If life were that simple I'd be as happy as a clam, but unfortunately its not. Classes start tomorrow and I have NO idea where anything is. I feel about an inch tall in a campus that feels as large as the pacific ocean, and everyone else seems to be happily adjusted but I'm still floundering and gasping for air. Nonetheless, there is hope. I'm trying to network myself around campus to try and find a good community to wedge myself into and I haven't even been here a week so I can't beat myself up yet. I'll wait until next month for that.
I am REALLY missing Riverside and San Diego. I miss the beauty of San Diego and the community of Riverside. My best friends out there seem to be doing well and there is nothing I want more than to experience life right by there side. Rick is still out there too, and its tearing me in half to not see him every day. Its fun having new experiences but I feel like they would be so much better with him experiencing it too. Maybe God is trying to tell me something on my own...
I ran across a comment yesterday that says "You know the human response to panic? First, we are afraid. Second, we run. Third, we fight. Fourth, we tell everybody. God's counsel is just the opposite. Don't be afraid. Stand still. Watch Him work. Keep quiet. It's then that He does it. He takes over! He handles it exactly opposite the way we do it. The Lord just taps His foot, waiting for us to wait. 'Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord.' Exodus 14:13"
I am going to be quiet and hear what the Lord has in store for me in this incredible time, and do my very best not to panic even though thats exactly what i want to do. | | |
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