non_conformist_10's Xanga

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:53:09 GMT

And so I sit at my desk with pen in my hand.
The days of the past and the days at hand, and even those yet to come are echoing in my soul.
There have been days where I have played as a child;
Splashing in the water, lying in the sun, running through the grass with my friends.
And I look upon these days with such a longing delight--How these days have been So Good.

Then there have been days as cold and dead as the midnight, where I have known the warmth of Love & Friendship light upon me as bright as the noonday.
I have sat in front of fires in the forest & felt as weathered & ancient as the Oak trees about me,
And I have known deep fellowship to burn within my heart like the fire blazing before me.
And I look upon these days with such a longing delight--How these days have been So Good.

Now there have been days when my ears have heard the gladdening sound of Glory to the Lord.
I have heard His children sing with union of heart;
I have heard them proclaim the Bounty of His Grace--O How I hear them tell of the Goodness of the Lord!
And I look upon these days with such a longing delight--How these days have been So Good.

So Even, Shall there be days unto the Honor of the Lord,
And He will make His people play, & He will make His people sit & weep--
He will make them know youth, & He will make them know age;
They will be young & they will be old throughout the moments of their lives.
So they will look back & know the Lord's Everlasting Faithfulness toward them,
And they will sing as the Morning Stars sang on the day the World was given Life.
O They will sing of His Gory; they will sing of His Grace; they will sing of His Right Arm.--
Yes, we will tell of the Goodness of the Lord: As we play & as we sit; As we rise & as we fall; As we join with one another & as we go our separate ways.
In this, the Lord shall be Our Glory, & the Lord shall be Our Rock & Shelter;
He shall guide us as Our Shepherd & we shall be Eternally Satisfied.

And I look upon these days with such a longing delight--How these days have been So Good.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 18:31:04 GMT

Friends and All,

Today is the mark of my end of xanga.

I leave you with these words: For those who love the Lord, be of good courage, the Lord Jesus Christ reigns and shall soon come riding victoriously for the cause of truth and righteousness! And for those who have neither love for God nor His Law, may the Lord be gracious to open your eyes and your heart that you may know the coming wrath that is stored for the children of men--flee safe to the Refuge of Jesus Christ, for there never was nor shall there ever be a sinner that did not find forgiveness of sins and peace with God through Jesus Christ the Lord!

And PS--Don't feel compelled to leave a note.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 09:14:31 GMT

(Yet another Preface: It has been a long while since my spirit was quickened with love for the Lord of glory; yet now, in grace I rise to sing a new song of Life!)

O heart, ignite thy flame;
Burn with an holy zeal;
Awake to wonder at God's love
And glory in His grace!

Sing with a ravished tongue
The praises of the Lamb;
O heart, o'erflow with pleasing theme--
The beauties of the King!

Walk in the Righteous Way,
Though Narrow be the Road.
Thine eyes keep lifted to the skies;
Look to thy Heav'nly Home.

Though pressed with doubts and fears,
And storms assault thy soul;
O Look to Christ, thy Surety;
His peace then wilt control.

Press on in faith and love;
Continue now in grace--
Soon, great shall be thy rejoicing
To see thy Saviour's Face!

Amen!

(PS--Stace, I am still working on rhyming. It would probably help if my vocabulary were increased...but I am glad to even have a rhythm to these words. And then I am even overjoyed to have a heart that is turned to the Lord...And you too!)

How great is our God in everlasting mercy and loving kindness! May the Lord grant Life and Strength to His children, that we may walk in Love and Praise!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 22:28:01 GMT

"Come, ye sinners, poor and wretched, weak and wounded, sick and sore; Jesus ready stands to save you, full of pity joined with power."

Today I had many doubts as to my Salvation. This was brought on because of these latter-days of sin that I have turned to. And so it is that while my heart is in such a dull state that I loose my confidence and assurance. Where is the promised victory? What is this rest that is mine in Christ? When will I spring up with living water so that I overflow? I am weary of my sin yes, but I am also weary of my fight to walk unto the honor of the Lord. Am I seeking a righteousness of my own apart from Christ? Am I defeated seemingly over and over again because I am all the while striving to appease the Law which will only be my death; or is this the heart of the righteous fight of the Christian?

Now I say, "Flee to Christ, my soul. No longer look to thyself. There is only condemnation and guilt apart from the One whose blood washes away every sin. Quick…safe to the Rock that is higher than me."

O Father, save me unto Thy righteousness. Remember me in Thy mercy. Redeem me by Thy Everlasting Love. And empower me by Thy Spirit to walk in the joy of Salvation and Life in Christ Jesus.

The Father says, "Come, everyone who thirsts."
The Son says, "Come unto Me, all who are weary and heavy laden."
The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come."
And I cry, "I am coming…only save me!"

Whisper Thy peace to my soul and let me to walk in Thy ways.

This Lord’s Day was also the Lord’s Supper. All the while I was plagued with the enormity of my sin and guilt—Oh how my heart has been so hard—the things I have done in secret, the thoughts I have harbored in my heart, the words I have spoken without love, the worldly pleasures that have given me empty amusement, and how I have abstained from the only spring of Truth as I have neglected the reading of the Word of Life. These sins have brought me turmoil; these sins have made my spirit to shrivel and have made my bones to rot. And now as I approach the holy Table of the Lord, my guilt rises, my spirit shrinks and doubts arise to condemn me in my sins. I look to the table, and shall I take of these elements to salve my soul with deceptions? "No!" I cry, "No more shall I trample the blood of Christ, for by my returning to sin after sin after sin, I only prove myself to be as a dog that returns to its own vomit. No more shall I come to the Supper—I am a sinner." But it is the Spirit of Christ who speaks to me, "Sinners I came to save. Take and eat; this is My body broken for you. And take and drink; this is My blood that does wash thee from thy iniquities so that I will remember thy sins no more. Thy sin, indeed, is great, but where thy sin abounds so much more does My grace abound to cleanse thee from every spot and to present thee pure and blameless before the Throne of Glory! Take…and Live."

Whisper to me Thy peace, Oh my Lord and my God, for Thou dost know that I love Thee. Restore me in Thy mercy and love that I may bless Thee in my life.

"In the arms of Christ my Savior, Oh there are ten thousand charms!"

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 23:53:12 GMT

(Preface: I write these things knowing that it is the faithful few who love me dearly who are to read this and to rebuke me and encourage me in godliness and faith. May all be done to the praise of the glory of God’s grace wherewith we are blessed in the Beloved!)

There has been a deep groaning in my spirit these past couple of days for companionship. Mainly for that bond which goes beyond effort and is rooted in pure love. I long for that unity between a man and his woman that is only upheld by the grace of God. Oh I do feel that there is one that I love beyond other flesh; I do feel that there is one whose reproof would be such a sweetness and a kindness to my soul and whose approval is not sought for but rather whose love far exceeds the limits of approval and is an ever-flowing stream of admonition and encouragement; he is not my life’s-blood but this one presses me on in holiness and godliness and breathes my hopes with a ravished tongue that is kissed by glory and quickened by grace—he comes up from the valley whence he has been richly fed by our Lord and he then does lead me to the same place whence his soul was made fat on the bounty of our God and then we rest there together and cry aloud, “How great is our God! Behold, it is in the Lord that our souls are satisfied!” I long for those nights spent, joined in bitter weeping that we may wake to that morning of joy as the God of Whom we cried so desperately to has graciously mounted us upon His wings that we may soar in the heights of His mercy and love. My soul cries out, “Oh to walk in love with this man; to know my love as patient and kind; as not a love that envies or boasts, neither to have a love that is arrogant nor rude. But to love this man by not insisting on my own way; neither shall I be irritable nor resentful. I want to sorrow with him in wrongdoing, and through love, rejoice with him in the truth! Oh, for a love that bears all things, and believes all things, and hopes all things, and endures all things; for surely this love is lighted from On High, and this love never ends!” And again I cry, “Oh, to humble myself unto the meekness and quietness of spirit that well befits a woman graced in the righteousness of Christ; and to live with this man in the gentleness of so holy a faith as is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord!”

I am but a child.

But this one knows me, and this one is known by me. His prosperity is my delight, and his strength in the Lord makes my soul to rejoice.

Now he is my lord on earth as by the will of our God, but through the mystery of the power of God, he leads me to rest more and delight evermore in my soul’s Beloved and High Lord of heaven and earth! My satisfaction is not in this man of flesh (though I count him as the greatest of earthly ties and blessings), but my glory and chieftest delight is in the Altogether Lovely One, in Whom there is no shadow of turning nor tarnish in His splendor. Our God is bedecked in the radiance of His glory and dazzling in the beauty of His goodness!

Amen and Amen!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Fri, 26 May 2006 22:09:54 GMT

"Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what He has done for my soul."

Oh yes, may the Lord be praised! Hear me, all ye nations; the Lord reigns! And let the people shout with gladness!

The Lord is merciful and mighty; slow to anger and abounding in love! Who cannot testify of these: that the Lord is good, for His love endures forever; the Lord is mighty, for all is in His dominion; the Lord is patient, for His patience is counted unto our Salvation--He does not consume us, but He mercifully delivers us and brings us to His bosom; the Lord, indeed, is merciful; for His delight is that the wicked forsake their evil ways and return unto the Lord that He might deal kindly and peacefully with them in righteousness.

Yes, may my tongue be as the pen of a ready-writer, that I may proclaim the wonders of the King of Majesty!

Seek the Lord, all ye nations; Call upon the Name of the Lord and know the grace that He bestows. Let all men turn from ignorant passions and unto the sure and holy commandments of the Lord.

The Lord does not forget mercy but He lavishes His children with every grace and favor through the Son of Righteousness, even the Lord Jesus Christ!

Happy are they who fear Jehovah! And may the Lord keep all humble so that His excellencies may shine brighter than the sun in all its radiance.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Mar 2006 14:38:48 GMT

Currently Reading:
     Self-Deception: Its Nature, Evils, and Remedy
          By Jacob Helffenstein, Jonathan Edwards, and William Nichols
               Published By International Outreach

O how many are the self-deceived?—those who go about their way blinded to the guile that still reigns within their heart. Their conscience speaks soft things that they do but abound in the graces of religion, yet in the depth of their heart they neither love God nor love His ways. Well does the Lord Jesus Christ speak of this people in His great Sermon on the Mount, “On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and cast out demons in Your name, and do many mighty works in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you workers of lawlessness.’” This is a fearful truth, for the word of the Lord clearly says “On that day MANY will say to Me…”. And so this sounds a most earnest call to examine ourselves to see if we be in the faith.
       Do not be among those who lay their head gently on their death-bed, only to wake to the wrath and fury of the Lord of Justice. Do not leave this world clinging to a hope of false assurances. But rather be hard after seeking the Lord and strive forcefully to enter into the Kingdom of God. Know that the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those that follow are MANY; for the way is hard that leads to life, and those who follow are few. STRIVE, therefore, after the Lord; seek Him with all of your heart; do not perish in your sins. But be washed in the all-cleansing blood of Jesus Christ and follow Him in the way of righteousness! Die to yourself that you may live to Christ.
       May it not be that you have but a reputation of being alive, and really are dead. But be made alive in Christ, quickened by the Spirit to walk obediently in faith, love, and every grace unto the glory of the Father.

‘Beware of trusting to a refuge of lies.’

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 14:21:26 GMT

The following is posted with hopes that a certain of my friends may find smiles warm on their faces, for even now, there lies one upon mine! To whom this is given, I love you dearly. And I am so happy at the course Providence has given us, because in this way we will be made more into the image of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ--And happy is the soul in whom such a grace is worked!

We are blessed; and so may we continually sing forth praises to Jehovah!

“By the fire—warmth;

Laughing, rolling,

soft murmurs.

There’s sadness of a heart that recalls its former youth and vigor.

Pauses in the conversation;

The silence speaks more than any.

It speaks of yearning and gives birth to sighs—

O those yester-years gone by—

Sweet memories.

We begin to speak of glory-days;

Yes…Glory-days,

Like old men in a boat fishing as the wind blows a coolness of refreshment on their scorched faces,

Just so,

Our stories breathe of brightness to our souls.—

Go, chase that innocence—

It’s found in memories revealed by the fire…

Breathe—It is a kindness—

O breathe in all the sweetness of the memories gone by.”

“What becomes of today when all of yesterday plagues the mind;

And all my thoughts are scattered through the recesses of memories?

Brethren, I press on; laying down those things of past.

Pushing forward; straining upward to that joyous heavenly Rest.

I live unto the glorious Call of God—His Name I praise.

All the while fixing my eyes on the Lamb

Whose sacrifice speaks easement to my conscience

And whose love makes my heart to sing with a rapture and delight.

No more of Yesterday, I plead; But always unto my Rest…

I walk in the Spirit, led in the way of righteousness;

Fighting the flesh—raging against the bitter curse of worldly-lusts remainig—

But I will keep on straining;

Pressing onward,

And ever dieing that I might gain the prize—

Eternal Rest!”

“The long, straight drive toward home I head…

With rolling hills of golden wheat to guide me as I tread

Along the way.

There’s silence all around, for thoughts are soaring fast;

But then come breaks of sighs and tears

As flight is given to the past.

My heart is happy, yet even so

There comes a mournful cry,

‘Be Thou my Help and Strength, O Lord’…

Then shrieks of anguish and grief flow forth.

My soul is heavy-burdened…

O be at rest, my fainting heart;

There’s hope along the way.

Look to the sky and view thy rest,

There breaks an’eternal Day!

Thy treasure’s fixed above this earth

Where moth and rust are not.

Thy Joy is at the Father’s side;

Look up, dear heart, Look up.

No more give way to seek this world,

But fight to kill thy lusts;

The warfare’s hard, but soon shall be

That World which is to come!

Look up; receive such sights divine—

A breath of life derive.

Renew thy strength; thy vict’ry’s sure—

Christ stands at th’Father’s side!

Continue on in righteousness;

Walk humbly with thy God.

And so shall pleasant be thy lot;

Trav’ling the Narrow Road!”

Isaiah 26:3

"You [the Lord] keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 10:38:35 GMT

The Lord is my strong tower; He is my resting place. And it is glorious to stay under the covert of His wings; for surely the storms of life toss about me, but all is serene while anchored in my God. Oh, blest Three in One, Thou art mighty to save and in Thy sweet communion I am made glad!

“Tell me, Where could I go but to my Lord”

Monday, December 19, 2005

Mon, 19 Dec 2005 22:12:16 GMT

"Danny and I spent another late night over pancakes...."

"Give me your hand to hold...."

Caedmon's reminiscence.

(post not made by Kimberly Mattull, but made FOR Kimberly Mattull.)